Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Jon's Bogus Journey

My drive home from work started out poorly, with some jackass whipping out of a parking lot and cutting across three lanes to cut me off. It was one of those times when I wish that I could just plow into stupid people to teach them that actions have consequences. After all, this sort of behavior is only reinforced when people slam on their brakes and avoid what would otherwise be an inevitable collision.
Of course, I didn’t plow into him, and the lesson he learned was that he can get away with being a jackass and that there’s no such thing as karma or natural justice.
However, for a little while it seemed like The Universe was actually trying to make it up to me, as I managed to avoid almost every stoplight between work and home.
Naturally I immediately became suspicious.
Somewhere in Ashburn shortly before I got to the last leg of my journey I figured out what was going on.
There was a big, slow-moving truck up the road ahead of me. As soon as I spotted the yellow behemoth I knew that I was going to get stuck behind it for the rest of the way home.
I did make an abortive attempt to get around it, but the line of slow-moving mini-vans and SUVs in the other lane refused to cooperate, all moving slower than the truck and forcing me back over and behind it.
So, yeah. Stuck behind this massive slow-moving tuck that kicked dirt and gravel in my face like some bully in a Charles Atlas comic book ad.
Despite the irritation making me want to just go home and be done with the world for the day I decided to follow through on my intention of heading to the Chiropractor’s office.
I’ve never been to his new location, so I didn’t know exactly where it’s located, but I had a general idea.
Getting there involved driving through the narrow, crowded streets of “historic” Leesburg, which can be a pain under the best of circumstances.
Today wasn’t the best of circumstances.
Last night was my night off with my contacts. My vision on the days after I haven’t worn my lenses is sufficient to allow me to get through most tasks in life without any corrective lenses. I’m legal to drive, for example, and I can read street signs and so forth, but beyond a certain range things get fuzzy, and I have difficulty reading addresses on buildings – assuming there are any – or business signs.
To add to the fun of driving along the narrow, crowded street squinting to read numbers or words that may or may not actually be there, I was driving directly into the sun.
I don’t think it will come as a surprise to anyone to learn that I ended up going home without actually finding the Chiropractor’s office.

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