Super eXes, One Of God's Masterpieces, And Yes, THAT Bill Sienkiewicz

While I was at Wal-Mart today (where I went to pick up just a few things and ended up spending $85), I was walking past the bedding area when I noticed this bed set that had a “cow” motif, which is to say that the sheets, pillowcases, and comforter were all white with big black cowhide-like spots.
I thought, “Thank god I’m not still married to that crazy, cow-loving bitch or that’s what I’d be sleeping in.”
(She once got very upset with me when in discussing what my life might be like if she weren’t around I responded, “Well, I wouldn’t be living in a place that was decorated with a cow theme.”)
Speaking of crazy exes, one of the previews I saw today was for a movie starring Uma Thurman and Luke Wilson (the Wilson brother who doesn’t have a nose that looks like a penis or an annoying, high-pitched voice) called My Super Ex-Girlfriend, about a guy who finds out that the woman he just broke up with is a super-hero, complete with super powers, and a superhuman desire for revenge. Hell, it seems, hath no fury like a superwoman scorned.
It looks pretty entertaining, so much so that I’m considering going to see it, despite the fact that it is, basically, a romantic comedy (I shudder at the thought).
(Best scene in the preview: Uma flying past Luke’s apartment and tossing a live shark through his bedroom window.)
Of course, that brings us to the movie I was actually there to see, and my take on it.
I was impressed.
Was it better than the first two? That depends, on a lot of things.
Certainly it was more spectacular and action-packed than the first two, and the story – which combined, in a very loosely adapted way, two classic storylines from the comics – was at least passable (more on that in a bit).
Most of the pre-release complaints I’d encountered about it on various geek-related Web sites proved groundless, at least for me, as the Juggernaut looked much better on-screen than publicity photos suggested, and the actor’s performance wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d read (loved the nod to “The Juggernaut, Bitch!”), for example.
The big surprise for me was Kelsey Grammer as Beast. Certainly he looked better than the current tabby cat looking version of Hank McCoy that appears in the comics (they did a very good job of bulking him up), his action sequences were quintessential Beast, and it was very cool to hear him say, “Oh my stars and garters!”
All of Magneto’s major action scenes rocked about as hard as it’s possible for anything to rock.
It was nice to see Kitty Pryde used pretty effectively in this movie, and I have to say that Ellen Page won me over, though I still don’t think she’s quite pretty enough to play Kitty (Apparently a common complaint I have about the X movies, as you’ll see in a minute.)
This outing was much, much more violent than the last two, thanks in no small part to some very cool scenes featuring Wolverine getting a chance to cut loose (literally), but also thanks to some of the aforementioned hard-rocking Magneto scenes.
There were a lot of mutants in this movie, most of them throwaway characters, but one thing I want to mention, in reference to a review written by MTV’s Kurt Loder, is that the reason that the mutant with sonic-based powers (whom Scott and I both initially mistook for mutant prostitute Stacy X) is called Arclight is because of Operation Arclight, a Vietnam War campaign that involved massive amounts of bombing from B-52s, which, not surprisingly, caused a lot of vibrations. That’s why her powers didn’t have anything to do with light. It’s called “Wikipedia,” Loder. Look into it. Or, you know, just ask me.
Anyway, I did have a few problems with the movie. Trying to encompass two major stories in one movie ultimately does a disservice to both, and, quite frankly, if they would have chosen only one story to focus on(with all due respect to Joss Whedon, who wrote the other story), I would rather that it had been the Phoenix storyline.
Honestly, I felt like that story got short-shrift.
I had a few other problems with the Phoenix aspects as well, such as the total lack of the Phoenix Effect. I mean, come on! Compared to the Golden Gate Bridge scene, a giant bird-shaped corona of flame around Jean wouldn’t have been too much to ask for.
Also, while it was perhaps a nod to Whedon and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the dark-eyed, veiny look of “Dark Willow” (which, as a storyline on the series, was itself a nod to the original Dark Phoenix Saga) just seemed kind of silly and derivative, and, quite honestly, kind of gross.
Normal, non-cosmically powered Jean Grey is a phenomenally beautiful woman. Jean Grey as Dark Phoenix, evil incarnate though she may be, is supremely beautiful in her dark and terrible majesty. She should not look as though she has varicose veins on her face.
The thing is, though she is an attractive woman, and I do realize that she used to be a model, I’ve never felt that Famke Janssen was sufficiently beautiful to play Jean.
However, with the long, flaming red hair that they put on her in this movie, they had gone a long way toward making her more effectively look the part. Then they ruined it with the veins (which I honestly never really cared for on Dark Willow, either).
Still, it’s a minor sticking point.
Where would I rank this latest X offering amidst its comic book movie peers? Hard to say. Certainly above some of the last few offerings, but still well below Sin City and the Spider-Man movies, though I still haven’t decided where it ranks in the X trilogy itself.
In any case, it’s definitely worth seeing if for no other reason than that Magneto will rock your face off.
Prior to going to the movie, as mentioned, I did some shopping and got a haircut. Nothing too exciting there.
During the movie, Scott got a text message from Brian, with a picture.
Based on what Brian has reported to us in the past, there seems to be a statistically unlikely number of plane crashes in Leesburg. Brian had sent an image of the today’s addition to the tally to Scott (and to me, though I didn’t get it until after I left the theater and turned my phone on).
Said crash, I’m assuming, made for the worst drive home ever, as I had to take a really irritating and slow-moving detour because the exit that leads almost directly to my place was blocked off.
Hmm, guess it wasn’t the plane crash that did it, but sagging power lines that got pulled down by an A/C unit on a flat bed trailer.
(You can read about it here, if you’re interested. Clicking on the site’s logo will bring you back to the main page where you can also read about the plane crash.)
Either way, if there were ever a time in my life that I wished that I had powers like Magneto or Phoenix, today, when it took me 45 minutes to get from a point less than a mile away from my home to my home, was that day.
At the very least, it would have been nice, as I noted somewhat prophetically to Scott during the movie, to have the X-Men’s jet to make my commute that much faster.
Then again, if I tried flying it over Leesburg I’d most likely crash.

The Rest Of My Born Days Department:
Last night I started working on a picture that, if I keep working on it, could possibly take me the rest of my life to finish.
Is it a terribly complex image? No, not really, it’s just that in working on this particular picture I’m trying to hold myself to a much higher standard than usual.
Why? Well, I figure it’s the least I can do, given that in making the person whose image I’m trying to reproduce God clearly held Himself to a much higher standard than usual.
(Especially in contrast to the Platypus. What was He thinking?)
The subject is Brazilian model Allesandra Ambrosia.
If you’ve seen a Victoria’s Secret ad recently, you’ve seen her, and if you’re like me you’ve taken notice of how phenomenally beautiful (like how Jean Grey ought to be) she is.
Also if you’re like me, you view Victoria’s Secret ads as a mixed blessing at best…and you really ought to do your best to not be like me, because, seriously, why would you want that?
Anyway, I just feel inspired to really give this image of her my all (which is why I’ll probably never actually bother working on it).
Someone recently posted a bunch of pictures of her in a newsgroup (which is where I found the source image for the picture in question), and in addition to being pleased to discover so many really high-quality pictures of her, I was also amused by the naming convention that the poster used.
Many of the pictures had file names like “ILoveHer01.jpg,” “ILoveHer02.jpg,” and so forth.
I can’t say that I blame him.

I should mention that when I opened my Venture Bros. 2 disc DVD set (Watched “Ghosts of the Sargasso” while cooking dinner. Very little in life is more surreally and jaw-droppingly hilarious than the sight of Brock Samson using a man to beat another man to death, particularly when he’s not using his hands to do it. I’ll let you figure out the mechanics of it. Hint: it involves his ass.) and slid it out of its slip cover, I was surprised and pleased to discover that the artwork on the packaging was done by none other than Bill Sienkiewicz!
Yes, that Bill Sienkiewicz!
Okay, I realize that you have no idea who that is, or even how to pronounce his name (It’s pronounced “Bill” as in dollar…oh, wait, that’s not the tricky part. It’s “Shine-ka-vicks”), but trust me, it’s very, very cool.
In any case, it got up to 97 degrees here today and it’s still very, very hot. Too hot to sit here trying to write anything worthwhile, though apparently every day it’s too “something” for me to accomplish that…