Sunday, December 16, 2007

Keyword Kraziness: Kontacting The Kreator Edition

It’s time once again to look at some of the search strings that have brought hapless netizens to this blog for a 0-5 second stay.

who's the chick in the verizon commercial with the pony
According to the comments on the YouTube post of the ad, her name is Bonnie Dennison. Her IMDb entry seems to support that claim.
(The commercial still cracks me up every time. Her delivery of the “Yeah” at the end is perfect.)

boobs bluteooth(sic)
I don’t think that I approve of the concept of “hands free” boobs (I’m guessing the seeker intended it to be “bluetooth.”).

nipple clamps as a deterrent to procrastination
I’d rather just procrastinate, thanks.

direcpath awful company
It certainly is. Feel free to share your tale of Direcpath-induced woe here, as many others have done.

ginger alexander cleavage
ginger alexander boobs
ginger alexander nipple
ginger alexander real estate pros boobs

and
ginger and richard davis dating tlc
I have no idea what the relationship is between Ginger Alexander and Richard Davis. As for the rest, this isn’t a celebrity picture site, so if you’re looking for boobs/cleavage/nipple pictures, this isn’t the place to find them. I suspect that no place is the place to find them, though. She’s not an actress/model/spoiled heiress, so that brings the odds of there being many pictures of her breasts – covered or uncovered – available online down considerably, to somewhere in the neighborhood of zero. She’s simply not famous enough to be stalked by the paparazzi, who might capture a nipple slip shot of her, or to get the attention of the community of video cappers who grab images from TV shows and movies and post them online. I would submit that there are plenty of pictures of breasts - many of them much nicer and considerably less covered than Ginger’s - readily available online. I personally recommend checking out Lucy Pinder's (link NSFW).

two worlds for psa2 gameplay info
I’m not a gamer, so I have no idea what you’re talking about.

how to stop eating your hair
I imagine there are all kinds of methods, the most drastic of which, I should think, would be to shave your head. If it’s a compulsive disorder, your best bet is to seek psychological counseling.

tanya memme nude
I’m sure she’s nude on a regular basis, but so far it appears that there are no cameras involved.

watch bikini cavegirl online
I wouldn’t recommend it.

noc noc jokes
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
NOC
NOC who?
NOC gonna find any knock knock (or noc noc) jokes here.

portia di rossi stockings
Did you mean stalkings? Either way, I can’t help you.

The usual suspects round out the rest of the search strings. Items such as:

giada bra size
carla gugino bra size
don rickles bra size

..and so forth (not so much with the Don Rickles, though)
A while back there was a post on Slacktivist examining a video of Mike Huckabee giving the invocation at the 2004 Republican National Convention. The invocation took the form of Huckabee answering a phone call from God, treating the attendees to Huckabee’s half of the conversation. The Slacktivist post pointed out the inherent silliness of this shtick, as well as one very important and significant fact: they had God on the line and it never occurred to any of them to ask Him any questions.
The entry ended with an invitation for the readers to post the questions that they would ask of God, given the opportunity, in the comments section.
It occurred to me that I could ask God to provide me with His master list of celebrity bra sizes so that I could distribute it to the seekers of knowledge of the celebrity brassiere.
Sadly, I don’t have God on the line, and it doesn’t seem likely that I ever will, so, alas, I am unable to provide you with the knowledge you seek.

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