It's Friday morning, and a fairly slow one at that, so I thought I should post something seeing as how I've been neglecting Threshold in favor of 15,000 Years.
On that front, by the way, I've moved past the halfway point, with just shy of 29,000 words, which is probably the most I've ever written.
Unfortunately, I effectively only have 6 more days that I can devote to writing before my month is up, so it's going to be a pretty close finish, I think.
On Wednesday evening as I drove home form Scott's house (I thoroughly enjoyed "The Incredibles," by the way. Lots of good comic book "in-jokes."), I realized how grateful I am that I don't work a regular Monday-Friday 9 to 5 job. Most of the Rush Hour traffic was going in the opposite direction that I was, but it was still a pretty hellish drive. I'd hate to have to go through that five days a week. I think that several months of that would probably serve to give me that final push I need to get past my laziness and become some kind of psycho killer.
But then again, it's difficult to say that for certain, since I am really lazy.
Oh yeah, and killing is wrong or something.
Apart from he hellish experience of being carefully scrutinized by a hot chick on Tuesday, there was another aspect of the day that made me uncomfortable: the whole day served as a real test of my commitment to not smoking.
I've got over six smoke-free months in now, but that's a drop in the bucket compared to 18 years of smoking.
Now that I've been smoke-free for so long it's not really that difficult to keep from doing it at home or at work, but in a situation like spending the day in a class is different, since there actually were structured breaks.
At work I can basically make my lunch break as short as I want, thereby eliminating the temptation to smoke, and I can just work through my breaks, since we don't really have any sort of rigid break schedule.
During the class, though, we had several breaks and an hour for lunch. It took me maybe 15 minutes to buy and eat my lunch. With the remaining 45 minutes I was left to wonder how, and, perhaps more the point, why non-smokers live.
What's the point of taking a break if you're not going to smoke?
During my lunch break I called my mother, since I hadn't talked to her on Monday. Of course, I did that outside, and while I was talking to her several smokers came out to take breaks. I was really tempted to ask one of them to bum me one. I honestly think that the fact that I always hated it when random strangers were presumptuous enough to ask me for cigarettes when I smoked was the only thing that stopped me.
After lunch I never even bothered leaving the room for the breaks we took. Sure, I could have taken a walk to stretch my legs or something, or bought a snack or something, but those sorts of activities just don't have the same appeal (or sense of urgency) as going outside to light up.
Still, it has only been six months, so maybe somewhere along the line I'll pick up some new habit that will help me fill the empty spaces.
But in the meantime I can't help but wonder why non-smokers even bother taking breaks, though I guess that technically taking the time to write this entry would count as one...
Friday, November 19, 2004
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
The Not-So-Beautiful People, a Southern Belle, and Jon's personal hell
So I’m back from my day at headquarters among the beautiful people, though I have to say that the particular group I was with wasn’t really all that beautiful.
There were a couple of woman who were attractive, but weren’t really anything special. Worth a look or two, but not really worth writing home (or on my blog) about.
There was one particular woman there whom I found fairly attractive despite the fact that she was fairly large. The boundaries of what I consider “voluptuous” or “curvy” extend reasonably far, I think, but this girl was definitely at the extreme edge, possibly even slightly over on the other side.
Still, she was very pretty (albeit in a somewhat unconventional manner), and she did manage to concentrate a disproportionate amount of her body weight in the boob area, so that earned her some points.
I know; I sound horribly sexist, “fatist,” and superficial, but all I can say is this: deal with it. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not especially chauvinistic or sexist and that I have a considerable amount of depth of character.
And since I’ve been making a deliberate effort to control my own weight and am reasonably trim I don’t see it as unreasonable to be attracted primarily to women who are in similar shape.
And my whole point is that I did find her attractive despite the fact that she was a little larger than what I would normally find “acceptable.”
As for the superficiality, of course it’s superficial. I didn’t have the opportunity to actually interact with most of these women, so all I can comment on are their physical appearances. I mean, that’s pretty much what all of this is about.
In any case, apart from the semi-attractive women mentioned there was one knockout in the group.
This one was a real hottie, and definitely had my attention.
Unfortunately, she’s married and actually lives in Atlanta, having come up to Northern Virginia solely for the purpose of attending this training and a couple of others and will be heading back tomorrow morning.
I actually did interact with her, though, and, surprisingly, found her personality to be rather engaging.
I say “surprisingly” because she was very much the “Southern Belle” type, and that sort of personality usually tends to rub me the wrong way, no matter how attractive the woman is. In this case, though, I was definitely charmed.
However, she was part of a moment that was entirely hellish. She and I were partnered up in an exercise the instructor had us perform. We had to turn and face each other, and study each other intently for several seconds.
I’ve had nightmares like that in which I’ve had to stand and be scrutinized by a beautiful woman, so this was beyond unpleasant.
The experience was made worse by the fact that she picked up on how uncomfortable I was and opted to amuse herself by raising my discomfort level by leaning her face in even closer and staring at me even more intently.
I really wanted to run away.
What made it truly hellish was the fact that I had to openly scrutinize her as well, with her being entirely aware of the fact that I was doing so. I’m much more accustomed to stealing sidelong, surreptitious glances at women. It was difficult to keep from ogling her outright.
The point of the exercise was for us to turn our backs to each other after we finished studying each other and, in whatever fashion we could, change three things about our own appearance, then turn back around and see if our partner could spot the changes.
I spotted two of her changes: she had put on sunglasses and had pulled her hair behind her ears. She spotted only one of mine: I had pulled my sleeves down.
Her third change was unbuttoning her coat, but I didn’t notice that because I was trying not to look anywhere near the vicinity of her breasts.
The other two changes I made were switching the pocket my security badge was clipped to and moving my watch to my other wrist.
The changes were probably too subtle, but there wasn’t much else I could do, and I wanted to do what I could to draw the focus away from my face.
The class, by the way, was on effective business writing. The point of the “change” exercise actually came after it was over and the instructor pointed out how everyone was scrambling to change back to “normal.” She wanted to illustrate that change is difficult, and that in order for our writing to be improved as a result of taking this class we have to be willing to work at instituting the changes prescribed in it.
I thought it was a pretty lame way to illustrate her point, especially considering the mind-numbing hell she put me through in order to do it…
In any case, that was my day among the not-so-beautiful people. Not much else is new, and I suppose that I should get to back to work on “15,000 Years” seeing as how I’m past the halfway point for the month…
There were a couple of woman who were attractive, but weren’t really anything special. Worth a look or two, but not really worth writing home (or on my blog) about.
There was one particular woman there whom I found fairly attractive despite the fact that she was fairly large. The boundaries of what I consider “voluptuous” or “curvy” extend reasonably far, I think, but this girl was definitely at the extreme edge, possibly even slightly over on the other side.
Still, she was very pretty (albeit in a somewhat unconventional manner), and she did manage to concentrate a disproportionate amount of her body weight in the boob area, so that earned her some points.
I know; I sound horribly sexist, “fatist,” and superficial, but all I can say is this: deal with it. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not especially chauvinistic or sexist and that I have a considerable amount of depth of character.
And since I’ve been making a deliberate effort to control my own weight and am reasonably trim I don’t see it as unreasonable to be attracted primarily to women who are in similar shape.
And my whole point is that I did find her attractive despite the fact that she was a little larger than what I would normally find “acceptable.”
As for the superficiality, of course it’s superficial. I didn’t have the opportunity to actually interact with most of these women, so all I can comment on are their physical appearances. I mean, that’s pretty much what all of this is about.
In any case, apart from the semi-attractive women mentioned there was one knockout in the group.
This one was a real hottie, and definitely had my attention.
Unfortunately, she’s married and actually lives in Atlanta, having come up to Northern Virginia solely for the purpose of attending this training and a couple of others and will be heading back tomorrow morning.
I actually did interact with her, though, and, surprisingly, found her personality to be rather engaging.
I say “surprisingly” because she was very much the “Southern Belle” type, and that sort of personality usually tends to rub me the wrong way, no matter how attractive the woman is. In this case, though, I was definitely charmed.
However, she was part of a moment that was entirely hellish. She and I were partnered up in an exercise the instructor had us perform. We had to turn and face each other, and study each other intently for several seconds.
I’ve had nightmares like that in which I’ve had to stand and be scrutinized by a beautiful woman, so this was beyond unpleasant.
The experience was made worse by the fact that she picked up on how uncomfortable I was and opted to amuse herself by raising my discomfort level by leaning her face in even closer and staring at me even more intently.
I really wanted to run away.
What made it truly hellish was the fact that I had to openly scrutinize her as well, with her being entirely aware of the fact that I was doing so. I’m much more accustomed to stealing sidelong, surreptitious glances at women. It was difficult to keep from ogling her outright.
The point of the exercise was for us to turn our backs to each other after we finished studying each other and, in whatever fashion we could, change three things about our own appearance, then turn back around and see if our partner could spot the changes.
I spotted two of her changes: she had put on sunglasses and had pulled her hair behind her ears. She spotted only one of mine: I had pulled my sleeves down.
Her third change was unbuttoning her coat, but I didn’t notice that because I was trying not to look anywhere near the vicinity of her breasts.
The other two changes I made were switching the pocket my security badge was clipped to and moving my watch to my other wrist.
The changes were probably too subtle, but there wasn’t much else I could do, and I wanted to do what I could to draw the focus away from my face.
The class, by the way, was on effective business writing. The point of the “change” exercise actually came after it was over and the instructor pointed out how everyone was scrambling to change back to “normal.” She wanted to illustrate that change is difficult, and that in order for our writing to be improved as a result of taking this class we have to be willing to work at instituting the changes prescribed in it.
I thought it was a pretty lame way to illustrate her point, especially considering the mind-numbing hell she put me through in order to do it…
In any case, that was my day among the not-so-beautiful people. Not much else is new, and I suppose that I should get to back to work on “15,000 Years” seeing as how I’m past the halfway point for the month…
Monday, November 15, 2004
Random encounters, fuzzy slippers, naps, and a busy week for Jon
After the bowling diversion on Friday, the rest of my weekend proceeded much like any other.
Now, of course, it’s over and I’m left entirely to my own devices, whatever those may be.
Today those devices consisted of getting a haircut, doing some grocery shopping, taking a nap, and doing my laundry.
The laundry thing was unusual, as I usually reserve that for Thursdays, but I was out of clean socks and had nothing better to do today, so…
The place I go to get my hair cut is in the same shopping center as my optometrist’s office, and, as pretty much everyone who reads this blog knows (since I’m assuming the number of people who read this who don’t actually know me is somewhere around zero), the closest thing to a romantic encounter I’ve had in the last two years involved the office manager at said optometrist’s office.
Without getting into the extremely boring details, suffice to say that the attempt at romance ended in failure.
When I get my hair cut I’m not actively looking to bump into her, but I am always aware that it is a possibility, so it’s only natural that I was thinking about her when I went there this morning.
The last time I actually encountered her was sometime last spring after I lost one of my contacts and had to go in to order a replacement, so in all the times in the intervening months that I’ve gone to get my hair cut, despite the possibility being there, I haven’t actually seen her. Today was no exception.
In any case, as I sat waiting for my turn in the chair, despite not seeing her I was thinking about her even as I sat idly appraising the attractive young woman getting her hair cut. I really didn't notice much about her beyond the fact that she was there and attractive.
Eventually she finished with her haircut and got up to pay. As she walked to the register, she spotted me, smiled, and said, “Hi! How are you?”
Having no clue who she was or why she was talking to me, I nevertheless managed to say, “Hello. I’m good, you?” As I did this, I studied her face carefully, trying to imagine what she might look like with her hair dry and dressed in something other than a white sweatshirt, red sweats, and what looked to be fuzzy leopard print slippers in the hopes that I might be able to figure out who she was and how I would know her.
Fortunately (under the circumstances, at least), in the nearly two years that I’ve lived in Northern Virginia I’ve come to know very few people, and from that small list I was able to narrow down the suspects even further based on her rather enthusiastic greeting, so when she said, “You don’t know who I am, do you?” I was able to honestly say, “Yes, I know who you are.”
It was Kelly, the girl from my apartment complex’s rental office, the one who told me that I smelled REALLY good.
Since that particular encounter with her, I’ve walked past the office several times a week on my way to the weight room and haven’t bumped into her again apart from that day she walked in while I was waiting to get a copy of my lease, so I found it sort of odd to encounter her under these circumstances, especially considering that in this particular location it would seem more likely that I’d encounter my optometrist’s office manager.
So it was a little odd, and I couldn’t help but notice just how enthusiastic her reaction was, though I think that has more to do with her personality than any real enthusiasm about seeing me.
Still, it was an unusual occurrence and it left me feeling a little nonplussed.
The rest of the day proceeded pretty normally, though, and by around 1 pm after a workout (No Kelly as I walked by the office; I have no idea what her schedule is like) I was ready to call it quits for at least a little while, and so I took a nap.
Afterwards I got up, folded my laundry, put it away, and sat down to write this.
And there you have it.
I also did a little bit of work on “15,000 Years.” I’m sure those of you who are reading it have noticed that I’ve been posting quite a bit more of late. I suppose that I actually have a plot now, though really I don’t see it moving away from the character-driven piece that it’s been so far.
So if you like the character-driven aspect, that’s good news. If you don’t, well, sorry.
This is going to be an unusually active week for me. Tomorrow I have a work-related class that will place me among the beautiful people at headquarters for eight hours.
On Wednesday I’ll be having lunch at Scott’s house, and from there we’ll be off to see “The Incredibles.”
In any case, I thought I should post an entry today. Not much else is going on, and I should get back to work on “15,000 Years.”
Now, of course, it’s over and I’m left entirely to my own devices, whatever those may be.
Today those devices consisted of getting a haircut, doing some grocery shopping, taking a nap, and doing my laundry.
The laundry thing was unusual, as I usually reserve that for Thursdays, but I was out of clean socks and had nothing better to do today, so…
The place I go to get my hair cut is in the same shopping center as my optometrist’s office, and, as pretty much everyone who reads this blog knows (since I’m assuming the number of people who read this who don’t actually know me is somewhere around zero), the closest thing to a romantic encounter I’ve had in the last two years involved the office manager at said optometrist’s office.
Without getting into the extremely boring details, suffice to say that the attempt at romance ended in failure.
When I get my hair cut I’m not actively looking to bump into her, but I am always aware that it is a possibility, so it’s only natural that I was thinking about her when I went there this morning.
The last time I actually encountered her was sometime last spring after I lost one of my contacts and had to go in to order a replacement, so in all the times in the intervening months that I’ve gone to get my hair cut, despite the possibility being there, I haven’t actually seen her. Today was no exception.
In any case, as I sat waiting for my turn in the chair, despite not seeing her I was thinking about her even as I sat idly appraising the attractive young woman getting her hair cut. I really didn't notice much about her beyond the fact that she was there and attractive.
Eventually she finished with her haircut and got up to pay. As she walked to the register, she spotted me, smiled, and said, “Hi! How are you?”
Having no clue who she was or why she was talking to me, I nevertheless managed to say, “Hello. I’m good, you?” As I did this, I studied her face carefully, trying to imagine what she might look like with her hair dry and dressed in something other than a white sweatshirt, red sweats, and what looked to be fuzzy leopard print slippers in the hopes that I might be able to figure out who she was and how I would know her.
Fortunately (under the circumstances, at least), in the nearly two years that I’ve lived in Northern Virginia I’ve come to know very few people, and from that small list I was able to narrow down the suspects even further based on her rather enthusiastic greeting, so when she said, “You don’t know who I am, do you?” I was able to honestly say, “Yes, I know who you are.”
It was Kelly, the girl from my apartment complex’s rental office, the one who told me that I smelled REALLY good.
Since that particular encounter with her, I’ve walked past the office several times a week on my way to the weight room and haven’t bumped into her again apart from that day she walked in while I was waiting to get a copy of my lease, so I found it sort of odd to encounter her under these circumstances, especially considering that in this particular location it would seem more likely that I’d encounter my optometrist’s office manager.
So it was a little odd, and I couldn’t help but notice just how enthusiastic her reaction was, though I think that has more to do with her personality than any real enthusiasm about seeing me.
Still, it was an unusual occurrence and it left me feeling a little nonplussed.
The rest of the day proceeded pretty normally, though, and by around 1 pm after a workout (No Kelly as I walked by the office; I have no idea what her schedule is like) I was ready to call it quits for at least a little while, and so I took a nap.
Afterwards I got up, folded my laundry, put it away, and sat down to write this.
And there you have it.
I also did a little bit of work on “15,000 Years.” I’m sure those of you who are reading it have noticed that I’ve been posting quite a bit more of late. I suppose that I actually have a plot now, though really I don’t see it moving away from the character-driven piece that it’s been so far.
So if you like the character-driven aspect, that’s good news. If you don’t, well, sorry.
This is going to be an unusually active week for me. Tomorrow I have a work-related class that will place me among the beautiful people at headquarters for eight hours.
On Wednesday I’ll be having lunch at Scott’s house, and from there we’ll be off to see “The Incredibles.”
In any case, I thought I should post an entry today. Not much else is going on, and I should get back to work on “15,000 Years.”
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