Sunday, April 13, 2014

Heaven, Hell, Life, The Universe, And Everything

As it does every year, the time has come to extend birthday wishes to the evangelist who was inspired by the propaganda techniques of the Communist Party of China to begin releasing “gospel” tracts, which have been (ironically) loved and (unironically) hated for more than fifty years.  Happy 90th, Jack Chick!
Of course, at the same time, we have to extend our condolences, as that means that Jack has lived in this fallen world for nine decades without being vacuumed up to meet Jesus during the Rapture.  After 90 years, it has to be difficult to keep on believing that the Rapture will happen any minute now.
(How about now?  Nope.  Now?  Nope…)
He must be especially dismayed, given the rising popularity of the “entertainment” that is little more than an efficient delivery system for demonic influences.  Sorry, Jack – the Illuminati just knows how create propaganda that's more interesting and compelling than your righteous little comics.  But don't worry; I'm sure the Rapture will happen any minute, and those of us who haven't said the right magic words will suffer for our enjoyment of things like Harry Potter, role-playing games, and comic book movies.
And speaking of demonic entertainment, happy birthday to Ron “Hellboy” Perlman, who turns 63 today.  Get to work on convincing Guillermo Del Toro that the world needs more Hellboy movies before you get too old*!
And, finally, happy birthday to some dork named Jon, who, at 42, has hit the geekiest age possible, what with being the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.
If Jon’s the answer, I don’t think anyone wants to know the question…

*I’m not saying he’s too old; he said it himself while working on Pacific Rim and making a case for more Hellboy.

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