Thursday, March 07, 2013

The Day After Doomsday

I envision a scene very similar to this playing out for the next few days in homes across Northern Virginia:

Kid:  Mom, I'm thirsty.
Mom:  Have some bottled water.
Kid:  I don't want water!
Mom:  Too bad!  I went out and bought a year's supply of bottled water to prepare for living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape after the snowstorm, and by God, we will use all of that water.
Kid:  But why do we have to use it right away?  The snowstorm fizzled out and civilization didn't collapse.  Can't we just save some of the water in case we need it again some other day?
Mom:  NO!  We're going through all of that water right now!
Kid:  But why?
Mom:  What if it snows again next week?  If we don't use up all of this water now, where will I put all of the water I buy in preparation for that snowstorm?  Jesus, think before you start whining!
Kid:  But...?  I mean....we have plenty of water now, so why would you need to...?
Mom:  Because I said so!
Kid:  (Grumbles)
Mom:  And you better start doing a lot more pooping!  We've got two years' worth of toilet paper we need to get through by the end of the week.

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