Quick Bits Of Randomness

(At a meeting)
Project Manager:  She’s kind of a Jack-of-All-Trades.   Well, I guess I should say Jackie-of-All-Trades.
Me:  Just so long as she isn’t a Jackée-of-All-Trades – I don’t think the position really calls for that level of sassiness.
All:  [Crickets]

*Sigh*  Nobody gets me.

****

Every so often I think to myself, “You should probably try to stop hating everyone so much.  It doesn’t do any good, and it’s probably not healthy.”
Then I end up having to drive to work in the rain, and as I see people panicking as though the Zombie Apocalypse has broken out, it’s like the Emperor is in the car with me saying, “Good. Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you”

****

Boss:  Sarcasm isn’t the way to deal with conflict.
Me:  Sure it is.
Boss:  …okay, it’s our way, but…

****

Thursday will find me and Scott sitting in a theater from 11:30 AM until sometime in the wee hours on Friday morning as we enjoy the Ultimate Marvel Marathon.
…
*Ahem*
NERDS!!!

****

I have ideas.
A lot of ideas. 
Far too many ideas.
If there’s one thing I don’t lack, it’s ideas.
What I do lack, however, is the willingness and/or ability to do anything with these ideas.
I’ve come to think of myself as an Idea Graveyard, and I find myself, like the voices in the head of Ed O’Neil in Wayne’s World 2, wondering, “Why do they come to me to die?  Why do they come to me to die?”

****

Of the assorted animals that seem drawn to my yard for no apparent reason, the rabbits are pretty much the only ones that haven’t annoyed me.
I mean, I don’t grow any vegetables or anything, so, Watership Down aside, who could have anything against rabbits?
Except that their presence also seems to draw the attention of children who will run around in my yard attempting to catch said rabbits, and drawing me inexorably towards the day when I open my door and yell, “Hey!  You kids!  Get off my lawn!”

****

Last week there was a “Health and Wellness Fair” at work.  I hadn’t intended to go to it, but at one point my boss – who is on the Health and Wellness Committee and was working one of the tables – texted me and asked me if I wanted to get my blood pressure, BMI, and body fat checked out.
As I had an informally-scheduled discussion with someone about metrics coming up in the next few minutes – a discussion I wanted to avoid because metrics –  I decided that there was nothing I would like more, and so I headed down for it.
Unsurprisingly, my blood pressure was fine.
However, I got conflicting information from the BMI and body fat results.  According to my BMI, I’m overweight, but my body fat percentage – about 19% – put me in the “Good” range.
According to the BMI chart, my ideal weight would be around 120 pounds.
…
Currently, I weigh somewhere around 165 pounds. 
I have a 29 inch waist.
Because I’m short, that makes it exceedingly difficult to find pants that fit properly – when you’re this short, you’re supposed to have a much wider waist, apparently.  I can’t even find a belt that’s designed for anything smaller than a 32 inch waist.
Years ago, I weighed around 140 pounds – which would put me on the high end of the optimal BMI range – and I had a 27 inch waist.
I think I’m going to pay more attention to what the body fat percentage says than what the BMI says, at least if I ever want to wear clothes…