Friday, January 27, 2012

Screw You, Universe

Universe:  So Jon, I see that you already got your VA tax refund.
Me:  Yeah, that was surprisingly fast.  I mean, I just got the notice that my form had been accepted on Tuesday.
Universe:  Sweet!  So...what are you going to buy?
Me:  Nothing yet.  I mean, I might take a day off from work next week and make a Costco run to stock up on stuff, but nothing too major.
Universe:  What about that Samsung Slate you've been wanting?
Me:  I can hold off on that for a while.  I want to wait until March, when I've gotten my Federal refund and my bonus, and I know how much of a raise I'm getting.
Universe:  Seems sensible.
Me:  Yeah.  I really want to put as much money away as I can - after paying off a few small debts - and use it to get some work done on my house and yard this summer.
Universe:  Good plan.
Me:  Thanks.
Universe:  You know you're not going to do that, though, right?  You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me.
Me:  Screw you.
Universe:  Hey now, I'm just being truthful.  It's not my fault that the truth hurts.
Me:  No, that's just a happy coincidence for you.
Universe:  Well, it couldn't hurt to just browse over to the Microsoft Store site and see if they have any kind of deal on it.  That has been the place with the best price for it, after all.
Me:  No, I don't want to go there.
Universe:  Come on...
Me:  No.
Universe:  You can do it.  What's the harm?  Start typing...
Me:  No.  Dammit, fingers!  Stop typing!
Universe: com.  There you go.  Now, hover over Computers, and then on the Slates flyout...
Me:  WHAT THE FUCK?  $300 off with the 128 GB SSD and docking station????
Universe:  Yeah, that's a hell of a deal.
Universe:  Oh, hey, look!  You also get a $200 Microsoft Store credit for future purchases!

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