(In the elevator at work)
Me: That's a very colorful shirt.
Woman: Thank you!
Me: (Thinking) I don't know that I meant that as a compliment.
(Throughout a conversation in which my boss explained the details of a project I've been assigned)
(Later, throughout a conversation in which we discussed the details with her boss)
My Boss: I told Jon that earlier...and he did the same thing to me.
(Talking about my vacation next week)
Me: I'll be in Michigan.
Co-Worker: That'll be fun!
Co-Worker: It's better than being here.
Me: You've clearly never been to Michigan.
Co-Worker: At least it's warm now.
Me: Again, you've never been to Michigan.
*The standard disclaimers about it being good to see my family apply. Plus I get to be a proud uncle and watch my niece Jourdan graduate from Nursing school. Still...