After talking to a verification service that contacted me as a personal reference for Scott:
Me: pretty standard questions
Me: how does he respond to constructive criticism or negative feedback?
Me: does he accomplish his daily tasks?
Me: do you think my mustache tickles women when i kiss them?
Me: and for the record...
Scott: only slightly?
Me: a. gunshots. b. well, if you count shooting up massive amounts of heroin as a daily task, then yes. and c. only slightly. only slightly.
Scott: Perfect! My position is assured, then.
Scott: seriously, i sang your praises.
Scott: I mean, that's business as usual, so if that's not what they're looking for, then they shouldn't have offered me the job...
Me: which led to, "sir, please stop singing."