Friday, June 25, 2010

Ladies Of The Legion - Addendum: Lois Got Hosed

So if you're Lana Lang of Earth, seen here as the Insect Queen...

...and one day as you're walking through your hometown of Smallville you stumble upon a strange, insect-like alien trapped under a tree, and after you rescue him, he gives you a ring that gives you the power to take on the characteristics and abilities of any insect or arachnid, do you:

A. Use your powers in the service of mankind as a super-hero?
B. Go a more selfish route, but still provide a valuable service, by hiring yourself out to do things like create massive quanities of super-spider silk for use in manufacturing?
C. Use your powers in the service of mankind as a super-hero, but also use them to try to prove that Superboy is Clark Kent?

If you answered anything other than C, you're clearly not a hateful bitch Lana Lang.
Lana gave the hero thing a whirl, for a while, while also trying (and failing) to prove that Clark and Superboy were one and the same, but when she found that she could only take on the aspect of any particular insect once a day, and realized that she lacked the ability to keep a catlog of useful insects in mind, she put away her costume and ring.
However, eventually, while the Legion was on a visit to 20th Century Smallville, she decided to try out for membership. Unfortunately for her, she didn't qualify for full membership because she's a hateful bitch her powers came fron an external source, and Legion bylaws stated that every Legionnaire must have a power that is, in some fashion, inherent (even if it was initially gained through artificial means).
However, she was awarded the status of "Reserve Member."
Similarly, Jimmy Olsen, who had access to a serum that gave him elastic powers and allowed him to become Elasti-Lad, didn't qualify for full membership, but managed to become an "Honorary Member."
Finally, Superboy's best friend Pete Ross, who had no powers, artificial or otherwise, also gained "Honorary Member" status in the Legion in recognition of the fact that while he knew Superboy's secret identity, he kept the secret to himself. Even Clark was unaware that Pete knew the truth. This was despite the fact that Pete, having learned to recognize the "This is a job for Superboy...but I can't get away without revealing my identity!" look on Clark's face, would always engage in some sort of distraction that would allow Clark to slip away without arousing suspicion.
Clark, being not terribly bright, despite his "super-intellect," always assumed that it was just a lucky break whenever Pete would conveniently twist his ankle, or have an epileptic seizure, or shoot some random person in the face, or whatever the hell he had to do to cover for his pal.
So three of Superboy/man's closest friends got to have some sort of status as members of the Legion.
Lois Lane, meanwhile, got the shaft.

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