Q & A

I spent most of the day in a class yesterday, and, as is bound to happen, at various points the instructor and the assorted other presenters paused to ask, "Does anyone have any questions?"
Whenever I hear that, there are some default questions - mostly culled from movies, TV shows, and other pop culture ephemera - that immediately spring to mind, but which I can never bring myself to ask.
So, with that introduction out of the way...

Goofy/Inappropriate Questions That Jon Will Never Ask:

I've got a question; you're crazy.
Yeah, I have a question; how dare you?
What is the Matrix?
Who. Is. Darkman?
Is this real life?
(Channeling Annie Lennox) Tell me...whyyyyyyyyyy-y-yyyyyyy-yyyy-yyy?
O rly?
WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS
How old are bears?
How'd it get burned? How'ditgetburned? HOW'DITGETBURNED?
Yes, given that I've been cheated, and been mistreated, my question for you is "when will I be loved?"
As a follow up, as Ms. Franklin once asked, "who's zooming who?"
Who does your nails?