Monday, April 13, 2009

Don't Worry Jack; Jesus Will Suck You Up With His Magic Dyson One Day

I want to take this opportunity to send out a special birthday greeting to everyone's favorite Christian Fundamentalist propaganda artist, the one, the only, Jack T. Chick.
As you hit the milestone of having spent 85 years on this planet without dropping trou and beaming on up to heaven, per your twisted convoluted understanding of scripture, I know it must seem like that darn Rapture will never get here, and you have to wonder if your years spent telling anyone and everyone (but especially those pesky Catholics, Mormons, D & D players, liberals, and who could forget the queers?) that they're going to Hell to burn forever in a lake of fire prepared for the Devil and all his angels, while you and the right-minded people like you get to hang out up above in a mansion built by the Christ Construction Company enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells of roasting sinners has been all for naught. Why, at this rate you might actually have to get to Heaven the hard way, like some common Christian who isn't living in the End Times. Why, that might mean that you're not special!
Well, Jack, all I can say to that is....Don't Stop Believing!

Happy Birthday, Jack!
(Oh, and some other schmuck named Jon is also celebrating his birthday today. And by "celebrating" I mean cleaning the house and doing laundry.)


Merlin T Wizard said...

Awesome tribute with an awesome song.

Is that Journey?

Heimdall said...

That is Journey!