Filling In The Gaps

Over the past couple of weeks there have been things I had intended to mention, but forgot, so this entry is to fill in some of those gaps.

***

On the Wednesday before I left for Michigan I decided to skip stopping at the comic shop, as I was going to be out of town anyway and didn’t want to take my comics with me, so I took the Greenway home. Normally this would mean that my drive home would take just under 20 minutes.
This time around, however, it meant that my drive home took just under 2 hours.
About 5 miles from Leesburg the Greenway became a parking lot. I had no idea why, but after about 20 minutes of waiting – and moving maybe 10 feet – a bunch of cops on motorcycles went by on the side of the road, so I concluded that there must be an accident ahead and said to myself, “Well, just so long as somebody’s hurt.” I was kidding, of course; despite how annoyed I was at the wait I wouldn’t have been pleased to know that someone had been hurt.
Well, not really pleased, anyway.
I was just glad to know that there was a reason for the delay, and hoped that it wouldn’t take long for things to get cleared up.
A short time later I heard a tremendous cacophony of sirens somewhere behind me and looked in my mirror to see a bunch of flashing lights and everyone behind me pulling off to the side of the road.
As I pulled off to the side I noticed that there didn’t appear to be any ambulances or fire trucks trying to get through, just a lot more motorcycles, a bunch of cruisers, and some big, black Suburbans.
It was at that point that I remembered: there was an Obama rally in Leesburg.
Sure enough, along with all of the police and, presumably, Secret Service vehicles in the motorcade, a big tour bus came squeezing through.
After the motorcade passed, everyone turned into an asshole and tried to prevent everyone else from getting back onto the road.
Traffic was still jacked up in Leesburg hours later when Scott and I were making our way back to my house after eating at Ruby Tuesday.
(As an aside, we went to Ruby Tuesday because a couple of nights before I was looking through a drawer and saw that I still had a Ruby Tuesday gift card from something. When I went to grab it before we went, I saw that, in fact, I still had the empty packaging that had once contained a Ruby Tuesday gift card. Still, I had my mind set on going there, so that’s where we went.)
We’d also stopped at Super Target so that I could pick up The Incredible Hulk on Blu-Ray – which is what we watched that evening – and a new, smaller carry-on bag that I would be able to keep with me when I got on the plane.

***

On my flight out of Dulles I found myself seated next to an old lady who smelled like farts and who spilled Pepsi all over my leg.
She never apologized for it, only stopping to look dismissively in my direction when I sat up in surprise, then going back to picking the ice cubes up from her tray.
She did ask the flight attendant to bring me some napkins. Actually, she said, “Could you bring him some napkins so he can wipe off his jeans?” There was a definite sneer of contempt in her voice when she said “jeans” for some reason. I mean, I really didn’t get that part. She could hardly be faulting my fashion sense, given that she was wearing jeans herself.
The flight attendant was actually kind of pretty, but there was something sort of off about her. Her hair was jet black and kind of ratty, and she looked as though she had just taken off a bunch of make-up (I don’t know how to explain what that means; I guess she looked sort of “freshly scrubbed” or something, but basically I just somehow got the impression that not long before she’d had a lot of make-up on) . I’d have to say that she looked like she might normally be Goth, but in a kind of natural way, just looking Goth without actually going through all the bother of trying to look Goth.
She also reminded me a little of this cashier who worked at the grocery store I worked at. On my last night there before starting at my job at the college I had stopped to bag for her, as all of the stockers were out fetching carts from the parking lot, and after thing slowed down she thanked me, then paused and said, “I think you rock.”
I said, “I think so, too,” which she informed me was the perfect response.
I was kind of annoyed to have a brief moment of flirtation with a cute girl at work on my last night working there.
Sometime later that week I stopped in there with my friend Eric and she and I had another moment, which led Eric to start harping on me about how I should pursue her.
I didn’t think it was worth the effort. Not because she wasn’t cute – she was – but because I’m Jon. Turns out that she was actually a student at the college I’d just started working for, so I wouldn’t have been able to date her anyway, as it was against the rules for staff to be involved with students.
(Unless there was a pre-existing relationship, of course.)

***

In Michigan, in the course of a conversation about girlfriends, or more accurately, the lack thereof, my nephew Jeremy said to me, “No offense, but I don’t want to end up like you.”
No offense. Of course. How could I possibly be offended by that?
(Rotten little smart-ass punk. I changed your damn diapers and you’re getting digs in on me? After asking me to buy you a laptop?)
Honestly, though, how could I be offended? Of course he wouldn’t want to end up like me, nor would I want him to, at least, not in the romance department.
In response I said, “Nobody wants to end up like me. Least of all me.”

***

My mom’s birthday party was held at a hotel that has a swimming pool, so naturally the kids all took advantage of the opportunity to go swimming.
However, because we were planning to take some family pictures, the kids had to hear the most evil, horrible, and vile word in the English language: wait.
For a kid, being told to wait is like poison to the ears.
My nephew Jacob decided to spend the time waiting by sitting in a chair and staring at the water in anticipation. He sat there utterly transfixed, as if looking at all of the presents under the tree on Christmas Eve.

***

While I was wandering around the Town Center on Friday before the movie, awash in a sea of families, couples, and groups of friends, I couldn’t help but think that, being the only unmatched person there, I stood out like a sore thumb. Then I decided that the expression “stood out like a sore thumb” was inadequate to the task of describing how much I stood out, and that there should be a new expression that is more suitable. Thus, alone amid the various groups of people, I stood out like Jon.

***

As I mentioned, there weren’t that many people in the theater, but at one point shortly after I sat down – again, standing out like Jon, even though I was sitting – a mixed groups of teenagers came in, which made me grit my teeth in anticipation of them being noisy. Fortunately they didn’t make much noise during the movie.
On the way back to my car I noticed that one of the girls in the group was dressed up like a schoolgirl. I’m assuming that they were all old enough to be at a rated R movie, so I only feel a little bit creepy in saying that I approved of her costume and that she looked extremely hot.
While checking out her legs I noticed that the was carrying a prop flail – which is to say, a spiked metal ball on the end of a chain – and realized that she wasn’t just dressed as a schoolgirl, she was dressed as that chick from Kill Bill, which made the costume that much cooler.

***

I really didn’t do anything yesterday – I’d showered, gotten dressed, and then realized that I didn’t actually have to go anywhere or do anything, so decided to stay home and do nothing – that nearly brings us up to date.
As for today, I found that when the majority of devices I own can automatically reset their own clocks – even my watch resets itself – it feels like a huge burden to reset the things that don’t reset themselves. The biggest hassle is trying – and ultimately failing – to get the clocks on my stove and my microwave in sync.
Apparently the hour that we gained overnight provided me with a little motivation, as, seeing that nature was doing a lousy job of taking care of the problem for me, I mowed the lawn after talking to my mother. The dense (and damp) growth only caused me to trip the circuit breaker once.
After that I decided to give the house a semi-thorough cleaning (only “semi” because I limited myself to downstairs). It’s been a while since the house got a good – or really, any – cleaning because apart from me the only person who usually sees the place is Scott, and he doesn’t care. And even if he does, so what?
Even so, it did get to the point at which I started to care a little, so now it’s clean, for whatever that’s worth.
Upstairs isn’t really in the same condition that downstairs had been – and I did at least dust up here – which is why my level of caring didn’t get past the first floor.
After that I showered, dressed, and went out to gas up the car, as did, apparently, everyone in Leesburg. I had to circle the station to find an open pump, only to find that the person at the pump ahead of me – who was nowhere to be seen – hadn’t really left me quite enough room to pull in. The hose just barely reached my gas tank, and in the struggle to get it to reach the nozzle dripped gas all over my arm. So that was fun, and made for a pleasant smell when I got in the car.
After that I headed to Super-Target – again, just like everyone else in Leesburg.
I really didn’t understand why there were so many people out and about. Shouldn’t they be home watching football, or golf, or car racing, or curling or something?
I’ve been drinking a lot of green tea for a while now, for the sake of whatever benefits it’s supposed to provide. Anti-oxidants or something?
In any case, I really like the Arizona Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey, and I buy the big gallon jugs of the stuff.
When I went grocery shopping on Tuesday, Target was completely sold out, but I wasn’t too concerned, as I knew I had enough to get me through the weekend.
Today I drank the last of what I had, so I’d intended to restock my supply. Too bad Target didn’t have the same idea.
I decided instead to pick up a 12-pack of the Lipton Green Tea with Citrus, which I also like (it tastes kind of like Original Flavor California Cooler, minus the alcohol, of course, for those who remember California Cooler).
It was only after I got home and started loading the bottles into the refrigerator that I noticed that I’d grabbed the Diet version.
*Sigh*
That and the other assorted aggravations that resulted from going out into the world were supplemented by me developing a serious case of the dropsies after I got home. Seriously, it’s like stuff is actually leaping out of my hands.
In any case, I suppose I should get back to doing the laundry, which I’m sure will result in wet clothes flying all over the place…