Saturday, October 18, 2008

The Week That Wasn't...No, Wait. Was.

Okay, so it’s been a while since I made a proper post. I guess I’ll do a day-by-day breakdown on what you’ve missed. Or rather, what you’ve “missed.”

Not much of anything. I worked, I came home, I sat around, I watched Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

I worked, and didn’t stop at the comic shop on the way home, as I had an eye appointment scheduled for Thursday evening and decided that rather than go home, sit around, then go to the eye doctor, I would stop at the comic shop, get something to eat, then go to the eye doctor.
When I got home, though, I had a voicemail from the eye doctor’s office telling me that my appointment – which had already been rescheduled from Tuesday – had to be rescheduled yet again.
Later, Scott came over for Riff Trax night. Before watching the movies – Star Wars Episode 2 and Spider-Man 3 – we went to the IHOP to get dinner. The place was filled to overflowing with old people.
Scott was wearing his “I’m Not Dead Yet” Spamalot T-shirt, and some lady said to him, “I like your shirt.” We concluded that, given her advanced age, she simply liked the sentiment expressed, and was not a Monty Python or Broadway fan.
Anyone who knows me knows that I love bacon. A lot. I love pretty much everything about bacon, to the extent that even if I had no other objections to doing so, I could never, ever, become a Jew, Muslim, or Rastafarian, simply because of the proscriptions against the eating of it. If eating bacon in and of itself will keep me out of Heaven, it’s worth it.
That being said, the bacon that I had with my meal at IHOP made my soul sad. What they gave me wasn’t bacon. It wasn’t even a pale imitation of bacon. I think the bacon that IHOP served me was what was really being described as an abomination in Leviticus.

I had a dentist appointment in the morning. All of the cute girls who used to work at my dentist’s office are apparently gone, though the hygienist who cleaned my teeth was kind of cute. She was also tiny, which added to her cuteness.
Naturally she was married – she made a reference to her father-in-law – though it’s hardly as though that matters, as someone who has to spend a significant amount of time looking into the horror show that is my mouth is probably the last person on earth I’d be likely to hook up with.
She seemed to be a very shy person who was desperately trying to overcome her shyness, presumably in order to be more effective in dealing with patients, and finding that her natural inclinations were winning out over her efforts to counter them. There was hesitancy to every attempt she made at friendly small talk – with most efforts to do so taking place when I was incapable of responding – and she was incredibly soft-spoken.
It was noon by the time I got out of there, so I stopped at a nearby McDonald’s to pick up lunch, where I had the following conversation with the drive-through menu board:

Menu Board: Hey there, fat fatty fat fat. Why don’t you order the Double Quarter-Pounder meal? You know you want to. Come on; it’s a half a pound of meat. That should almost be enough for your fat ass. Do it! I dare you!
Me: I accept your challenge.

In fairness, I was really damned hungry, as I hadn’t eaten much that morning as a courtesy to the person who would have to clean any food remnants out from my teeth.
For the first time in I have no idea how long, I actually ate all of my fries. I almost never do that. Like I said, I was really damned hungry.

Though I’m not sure who did the naming, as I never saw any mention of the source in any of the e-mails about it, my company was named the 2008 Cable Operator of the Year.
In celebration of this achievement, a “block party” was held this afternoon at work.
(As of the time I’m writing this it’s still Friday)
The party was kind of like the “beer bashes” we used to have at AOL, although it was a bit more elaborate, with actual food as opposed to snacks, live music, and various events, like a sack race and a tug-of-war.
I suppose I’m just used to it from my time at AOL, but a lot of people at work were surprised by the fact that alcohol was going to be provided.
For my part, I stuck to water, as the soft drink selection consisted entirely of things that I don’t like.
It wasn’t a great day for an outdoor party, as it was overcast, windy, and a bit chilly.
Almost as soon as I stepped outside I was accosted by someone trying to recruit me for the sack race. Because, just as there is no “I” in “Team,” there is no “Jon” in “Participation,” I declined the request (and even the offer of five bucks). The person attempting to recruit me asked if I was participating in any of the other competitions, and when I said no, she asked, “How’d you manage that?” I said, “By saying no.” Evidently it’s a revolutionary concept.
A little while later I was hit up again, but remained firm in my resistance. After all, when I’m doing something as basic as merely walking or even just standing there’s a better than average chance that I’ll fall on my face. As the level of complexity of an activity increases, the odds rapidly approach 100%, and today just didn’t feel like the sort of day on which I wanted to fall on my face on wet grass in front of pretty much all of my co-workers.
After I got home I took a nap – this time waking up before it was dark out – and then ate the second half of the foot-long sub I bought yesterday.
I spent some time doing nothing in particular, then watched that show Numb3rs, and then set about writing this.

So there you have it.
There are a couple of other items of note that I should mention. On Wednesday it was two years since my dad died. I hadn’t realized that until some point late in the day when I looked at the calendar and actually noticed what day it was. It doesn’t suck any less than it did two years ago, and I actually miss him even more.
Thursday marked the one-year anniversary of my getting laid off from AOL. Not a happy memory, exactly, but ultimately things worked out better for me, so it’s not an occasion that even comes close to approaching the sadness of the day preceding it.
It’s also been two years since my friend Jon Betts went missing and/or committed suicide.
So, yeah. Not exactly a week overflowing with happy memories.
But anyway, that fills in any gaps you may have had in your knowledge of Jon’s daily life for this week.
I just recently finished reading Volume 2 of Showcase Presents: Superman Family, which reprints issues of Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane comics from the fifties, so if I can build up enough motivation to write them, over the next few days you might be seeing some posts detailing some of the Silver Age bat-shittery I encountered in the process of reading those stories. Just a head’s up to those of you who will likely be uninterested in such posts.

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