Making The Deal

Today’s trip to class was considerably smoother and more uneventful than it was yesterday, so I arrived, as is more traditional, with time to spare.
Further, I was there before Kathleen, thus restoring the world to its natural order.
In the first case study today I was once again working with two of the really hot girls, though this time I was partnered with the one we’ll call “Specs,” as she wore glasses.
“Specs” isn’t quite as pretty as the girl I was working with yesterday (though at their level of hotness such considerations are largely irrelevant), whom we’ll call “Beauty Queen,” or “BQ.”
However, I did determine that Specs is even prettier than my initial assessment, and that overall she has a better body than BQ, who is a little too skinny.
Specs herself is also a little on the thin side, but still has a little more of a figure.
(As mentioned yesterday, the married chick has the best balance of being pretty and having a nice body)
The structure of the role-playing exercises didn’t really allow much time for attempting to make any sort of personal connection, though, so it wasn’t as if I really got the opportunity to put any moves (if we assume that somewhere, in some hidden recess of my personality, long-unused and covered with dust, I actually have moves) on her.
Before lunch we engaged in something more of a “real world” exercise.
For the exercise we had to split into pairs, with each of us putting $5 on the table.
The point was for us to come up with some sort of creative negotiation with which to determine which of the two would get the money.
There were various rules, such as that if no agreement was reached within the allotted time the money was forfeited to the instructor.
It had been my hope that I’d be paired with either Specs or BQ. I had thought that I could use the negotiation as a technique for getting a date.
Pathetic? Of course. Borderline prostitution? Sure, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was irrelevant, though, as I was not paired with either of them.
Specs, in exchange for the money, agreed to go out for drinks with her negotiating partner, a woman who, like Specs, is relatively new to the area and has very few friends.
It wasn’t actually a date (as far as any of us knew, at any rate), but even so, the fact that Specs did end up agreeing to go out with her negotiating partner made the fact that I wasn’t paired with her that much more annoying and disappointing.
We actually got to choose our own partner for the exercise, but Specs and BQ had both been chosen before I got my turn, so, since the married hot chick wasn’t really an option, I went with the woman we’ll call “Tucson.”
(For the record, I don’t feel comfortable using the real names of people who either haven’t given me the okay to do so or I don’t know well enough to assume that it’s okay, thus the nicknames)
Tucson is the woman I mentioned yesterday who knew Kathleen and Brian back in Tucson, Arizona (though I think she left there before I started, as I’m likely to have remembered seeing her).
I mentioned yesterday that she was “semi-attractive.” This was something of an understatement and inaccurate assessment on my part. She isn’t as hot as the married chick, or Specs and BQ, but she is better-looking than I initially thought, and I would have to say that her body is second only to that of the married chick.
From things I’d heard her say, I got the impression that Tucson was involved with someone, so I didn’t try to go the date route.
In fact, I really didn’t know what approach to take to the negotiation.
Kathleen had pointed out that we had learned yesterday that while I’m an “Avoider,” Tucson is a “Competer.”
(And no, that’s not really a word, but “competitor” doesn’t quite fit)
What Kathleen failed to consider, though, and as I pointed out to Tucson, I am spiteful, so there was always the chance that I might stall negotiations to force us to forfeit the money, taking an “if I can’t have it, no one can” approach.
That’s not the approach I actually took, though.
Instead, I took no real approach, and Tucson tried, in vain, to offer me things I might want. Since there’s very little in life that I do want, there was very little she could offer me.
As we proceeded with the negotiation, we agreed that there was some difficulty in working out any sort of future arrangement, as under ordinary circumstances we work at fairly widely-separated locations.
There was, however, a window of opportunity two weeks from now when Kathleen and I are once again heading to HQ to take another two-day class.
Establishing that, we shifted focus to what I could offer her in exchange for the $5.
Naturally, naughty thoughts about what I could do for (or, in the words of Val Kilmer, more to the point, to her) danced through my mind, but somewhere amid the vividly imagined scenes of debauchery I hit upon a skill I possess that isn’t dirty (and which, therefore, is a lot less rusty).
I can cook.
And, perhaps more importantly, I can bake.
I can bake things like cheesecake.
More specifically, Oreo cheesecake.
We very quickly had a deal; I got five dollars, and two weeks from now she gets an incredibly decadent and indulgent homemade dessert.
Ultimately, since I’ll have to buy a spring form pan, and the pricey ingredients, to say nothing of the time and effort, it’ll cost me more than $5, but hey, I won in the short-term.
Besides, on the (extreme) off-chance that she’s not involved with anyone, and has even the most miniscule sliver of interest in me, this gives me an opportunity to encounter her again and make a positive impression.
Plus it gives me an excuse to buy the pan and try making a cheesecake on my own, both of which I wanted to do, but was hesitant, as entire cheesecakes that I would probably end up eating completely by myself are the absolute last things I need to be making.
So the fact that I’m doing it for someone else gives me justification and protects my waistline.
For her part, Kathleen pretty much got hosed on the deal. She paired up with the hot married chick, and not only did she not get the money, she agreed to provide a free one-hour consultation on “House and Life Organization,” which is a business that she’s been trying to start up.
So in addition to the five bucks, she gave away $50 worth of services!
Loser!
Err, I mean, umm…
Honestly, the real benefit to Kathleen is that the consultation will undoubtedly lead to some actual work for the hot married chick and will probably get her some referrals. So in the long-term, it could be considered a win.
In explaining the rules and giving examples of deals he’d seen worked out in other classes, the instructor asked how many of the guys in the class were single.
Mine was the only hand raised (and yet people say it's my imagination when I complain about how often I feel as though I'm the only single person in the world).
In any case, he suggested that single guys will usually go for food. Kathleen suggested that what would be of more value to the single guys are the names of any single women the negotiators might know.
As this could rapidly degenerate into discussions about pimping, we moved on to another topic…
Overall, the class was a little more interesting than the last one Kathleen and I took a couple of weeks ago, and I think I did actually pick up some information that I can put to use.
And if nothing else, there was some definite eye candy, and…I talked a fairly hot chick into giving me five bucks and seeing me again (sort of)!
On many occasions I’ve made reference to the fact that “the beautiful people” work at headquarters, and, as mentioned, it was very evident in this class.
Of course I also saw them wandering the lengthy hallways, moving from office to office, keeping busy and looking beautiful.
It goes beyond their own personal physical appearance, though, as many of them tend to dress extremely stylishly (and expensively).
One thing in particular that I’ve noticed is their shoes.
The women tend to wear shoes (and boots) of the kind I had really only previously seen in catalogs, or movies, not on the feet of actual people.
It’s just sort of…striking, particularly if, like me, you notice those kinds of things.
It would be going way too far to suggest that I have a foot fetish, but I do tend to notice (and appreciate) “sexy” footwear. Patent leather, spike heels, straps…they don’t exactly get my blood pumping, but they do catch my eye, and at HQ there’s a lot to see.
I guess that, as far as wearing the shoes, it’s a money thing. Women at HQ have enough disposable income to spend on expensive footwear that’s considerably more “glamorous” than the shoes purchased by, say, lower-middle class housewives in the Midwest.
Also, I suppose that practicality and sensibility are much lesser considerations at HQ than they are in other work environments.
But whatever the reasons, expensive haircuts, stylish outfits, and sexy shoes: they’re what make HQ the home of the beautiful people.
On the topic of cooking/baking for other people, Kathleen has her duty crew tonight with the fire department and she offered to put her newly-developed culinary skills to use. She opted to go with the Chicken Pot Pie, which, as it did in class, even involved handling raw chicken, so it looks like she’s overcome her fear.
Hopefully there won’t be any headlines about the Leesburg Volunteer Fire Company being struck down by a case of salmonella…
And on that note, I’ll bring this entry to a close.