Friday, March 29, 2013

Unfortunately, I Remember Doing The Time Warp

For a while now DC has been resurrecting some of its long-forgotten anthology titles from days past and giving them new life as one-shots under their Vertigo imprint.
For example, a while ago they did a special issue of Mystery In Space, featuring all-new stories by contemporary creators.
A bit ago I saw an ad for a Vertigo version of the relatively obscure comic Time Warp, which had been a science fiction anthology series many, many years ago, and decided I would check it out.
I had forgotten about it, of course, because remembering things – when I need to remember them, at any rate – isn’t really my strong suit, but having left work early today because the place was largely a ghost town anyway, and needing to kill some time before meeting Scott to see GI Joe:  Retaliation (it was mindless fun), I decided to get my Saturday stuff out of the way, and stopped at the comic shop.
When I went up to the counter to pay for my books I noticed the Time Warp one-shot on display and added it to the pile.
The girl working there said, “I haven’t been able to get to this yet, but I really liked Ghosts, so I thought I’d check out this anthology.”
I said, “Yeah, it seems interesting.  I used to read the original Time Warp.  And Ghosts, for that matter.”
Then I added, “Back in the late 70s and early 80s.”
I also went on to tell her this anecdote.
She said, “Well, the new Ghosts was my jam, so I’m looking forward to this one.”
I couldn’t respond, as I found myself going back to what I’d said just a bit earlier.
The late 70s and early 80s.
I walked out of the comic shop thinking, “I’m old.”
Also, “my jam.”  Kids these days with their modern hep talk.
As something of a tonic against the thought, I decided that once I was in the car I needed to listen to something loud and angry.
Unfortunately, I soon realized that the music I was listening to is almost 30 years old.
Worse, as I was driving along – I turned the music up to try to drown out the thoughts about how old it was – I got hit with “Anarchy in the UK,” and another thought occurred to me.  Not only am I old, I’m also just another establishment stooge.
How the hell did this happen?  Why did I let it happen?
Where did my life go?
When did being a cliché become my life’s ambition?
For fuck’s sake – at this point I might as well just surrender to the hivemind and become one of those goddamn pod person golfers.
But no; I’m not that far gone.

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