Friday, August 03, 2012

Live And Don’t Learn

We have this program of irregularly-scheduled presentations at work called “Lunch and Learn,” during which various people from within the organization I work in give an hour-long talk on a particular topic – generally something related to their work – at lunch time, and lunch is provided for the audience.
Today, I had to give a presentation.  Well, “had to” isn’t really the right way to put it, given that it was my idea to give the presentation in the first place.
In any case, I won’t bore you with the details of the topic – it has to do with my job, so trust me when I say you’d be bored – but I will say that it was generally well-received, and many people commented that it was the best one they’ve ever been to.
So, yay me.
I made the session more interesting by making it interactive, and also by being funny.  I can do that, sometimes.  (This blog notwithstanding)
When I started things off, I introduced myself and said, “Those of you who know me may be surprised to learn that I do actually talk.  Those of you who don’t know me may be surprised to learn that I exist.”

****

At some point in the morning, someone asked me, “Are you ready for your Lunch and Learn?”  Before I could respond, someone else said, “He’s going to do a Live and Learn.”
I said, “No, it’s more like a Live and Don’t Learn.”

****

Boss:  …and I’m a lot younger than you are.
Me:  You’re not a lot younger than I am.
Boss:  I didn’t mean it like that.
Me:  How else could you mean it?
Boss:  Not that way.

****

Co-Worker:  Do you get nervous when you have to talk in front of a bunch of people?
Me:  No.  I used to, but not anymore.
Co-Worker:  What changed?
Me:  I stopped caring.

(Or as I put it to someone else with less sensitive ears, “How nervous I get is directly proportionate to the number of fucks I give.”)

****

Somewhere along the line they stopped ordering pizza for the Lunch and Learn sessions and started ordering other kinds of foods.  Today it was a huge multi-section sub.  I wasn’t really in the mood for that, so I didn’t have any.
I didn’t really have time to eat anyway, as I was going to be presenting.
When I got home, I still had pizza on the brain, and, because I’ve started up on the Captain America workout, I’m supposed to be eating more, so I decided to order a pizza.
It arrived quickly.  So quickly, in fact, that in their haste to deliver it, they didn’t so much slice the pizza as merely threaten it with something sharp.

****

The Lunch and Learn experience reminded me of something that happened years ago when I worked at AOL and my then-boss made me conduct a training session for my peers.
After it was over, she told me, “I’m so happy you did that!  Now everyone knows that you’re funny!”

****

While we were waiting for our flight out of Austin the other week, I noticed this attractive young woman who had what I can only describe as a great “look.”
It was what I would call a “modern alt-model retro pin-up look,” which I realize probably only makes sense in my head, but there you go.
The look was evocative of what are known as Rat Rod Girls, though the look was bit less…well, I don’t want to say “trashy,” but…I suppose I should say a bit more sophisticated.  Also, she didn’t appear to have any tats (visible ones, at any rate), so she wasn’t quite what comes to mind when I think “alt-model,” but I suppose it was just that she was thoroughly modern in terms of the way she was dressed, but the flower in her hair and her shoes gave her a sort of vintage look at the same time.
The way she was sitting, and her features, added to the effect.
As mentioned, she had a flower in her hair, and she was wearing a tight pink tank top, and a short, pink skirt – with a substantial slit up the side – paired with a gray hoodie.
Given that I was with my VP and other people from work, I didn’t want to just walk up to her and say, “You have a great look, and I would love to draw you,” but at the same time, I did want to do that.
Ultimately, even if I’d been there by myself, I doubt that I would have, because I can’t imagine any non-creepy way to do something like that.

3 comments:

lbugsh2 said...

I do not think they would have been shocked that you can talk but more shocked that you can laugh. But then again I am a crazy pregnant woman with twins.

Merlin T Wizard said...

I'm sure her immediate response would have been something along the lines of, "Draw me like one of your french girls, Jon."

Jon-Paul Maki said...

I think I've mostly drawn American, British, and Hungarian girls. No French girls spring to mind.