Friday, December 25, 2009

Not Fit For Polite Company

So this morning I headed down to Scott and Stacy's for Christmas brunch, where I received my gift: a figurine of Princess Leia as Jabba's slave in Return of the Jedi.
It's very cool, but the fact that she was packaged in a disassembled state was just creepy. It was like getting a gift from the Ice Truck Killer from the first season of Dexter:

Of course, the figure is from Japan, so I suppose I should consider myself fortunate that she wasn't being raped by tentacles as well.

The Princess fully-assembled, which I suppose some people might consider just as creepy in its own way as the disassembled version, what with her being chained up in a skimpy outfit for the pleasture of a big, fat slob (and I'm not talking about the Star Wars fanbase) ,but for geeks of my generation....okay, maybe we're no better than Jabba, but damn, Carrie Fisher looked hot in that outfit. Assembling the figure resulted in a lot of swearing, as her "Snap-Fit" arm steadfastly refused to do either of those things.

They opted to get me the Leia figure to complement this poster on my wall.

There were more people - and especially kids - at Scott and Stacy's than I was expecting, so it was a bit of an overload for me.
It didn't help that I'm not really fit for polite company, and had to keep restraining myself from responding to things like this:

Stacy (on the phone): Scott gave me a pearl necklace!
Me (thinking):
(Scott looks at me, waiting for me to say something inappropriate.)
Stacy: He made it himself!
Me (thinking): Oh my god.
Scott: That hurt, didn't it?
Me: Yes. I'm not fit for polite company.

Of course, earlier in the day I'd shown a bit less restraint. I was told that I had to try this cake that Jamie had made, so I went to the table to get a piece of it and was greeted by two nursing mothers, one of whom said, "Jon, have you tried this?"
She was pointing to the cake, of course, which was on the table between where the two of them were sitting while nursing, but given the context I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
At some point I walked over to my car to put the disassembled Leia away and to call Kim's so that I could wish everyone a Merry Christmas. A bit after 2 a bunch of us headed off to the theater to see Avatar in IMAX 3D, about which more later.
After the movie was over we were greeted with a downpour that's doing a number on the snow, but which, combined with fog, made it nearly impossible to see the lanes.
Everyone was invited over to another person's house for dinner, but between the people overload and wanting to get home before it cooled off and the rain became more dangerous, I declined.
As for the gifts I gave, usually I just get a gift card for Papa John's for Scott and Stacy and the kids, but there was this hardcover collection of all of the Rocketeer stories - which have been recolored and are absolutely gorgeous - so I wanted to get that for Scott (I picked one up for myself as well), and so I opted to give the girls a bunch of kids' comics and some ginormous Hershey bars, and Stacy a Target gift card. Tristram, the baby, got hosed, because, seriously, what do you buy a baby for Christmas? He's not going to know he got hosed.
As for my family, I gave my sister Kristy and her husband a digital photo frame, and went with gift cards for everyone else. I'd been undecided as to whether or not I was going to just send a big check for everyone like I usually do, or buy individual gifts, and then the next thing I knew it was like six days until Christmas, cards.
In any case, I hope everyone out there in Threshold land had a good, safe Christmas and that you all made it onto Santa's "nice" list.

1 comment:

lbugsh2 said...

hmm I just dont know what to say to this post. Well I do know what to say but its worse than your post so I think its best I refrain from speaking. But thanks for the dang good laugh.