My Director: (Humming)
Me: Were you just humming "Dare to be Stupid?"
My Director: No.
My Director: ...maybe.
My Director: I don't know.
In the Elevator With My VP:
VP: So, what are you working on?
Me: Well, I'll be working on this week's TPS* Report today.
VP: Oh yeah, how's that going? Are you liking it, or is it a pain in the ass?
Me: Uhh...well, it's kind of, um, it's, well, it's a pai-
VP: It's a pain in the ass.
Me: Well...yeah. But it's getting better.
VP: Good. You're doing a great job with it. We're getting lots of good praise for it.
In My Boss' Office (After relating the VP elevator story, emphasinzing the "I'm doing a great job" part):
My Boss: Well, that's good. It's giving us some good visibility. I guess that from now on we'll just have to assign you all of the pain in the butt jobs.
Me: So business as usual, then?
My Boss: Exactly.
Yelling At My Hands As They Flail About Uselessly While Attempting a Simple Task:
Me: You're my goddamned hands so you'll do what I goddamned tell you to do!
Lying To My Blog's Pitifully Tiny Readership:
Me: Oh, yeah, I'll post something worthwhile really soon.
*Okay, it's actually called the "Flash Report**," but I couldn't resist the opportunity for an Office Space reference.
**If it were up to me, this is what the "Flash Report" would look like:
- Barry Allen has been brought back to life after being dead for nearly 24 years. He's not happy about it, and neither am I.
- Bart Allen has also been brought back to life after being dead for considerably less time.
- Jay Garrick is still going strong.
- Wally West is married and has a son and a daughter who have weird powers.
- Flash! Aaahhhh aaahhhh! He saved every one of us!