As mentioned in my previous post, last night I went to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno, writer-director Kevin Smith’s latest romantic comedy featuring Seth Rogen – for whom the movie was actually written after Smith, in his own words, “fell in love with him” upon seeing his performance in The 4o Year-Old Virgin – and Elizabeth Banks as the titular lifelong platonic friends who, in an effort to overcome (so to speak) their money woes decide to make a porno.
There are a couple of minor spoilers ahead, so keep that in mind if you’re planning to see the movie.
The basic plot of the movie is essentially contained in the title, but as with most Kevin Smith’s movies the plot isn’t really what drives the movie, as it focuses on the characters. Characters who are, because it’s a Kevin Smith movie, smart-assed social misfits who constantly make with the funny, quirky, and extremely vulgar wise cracks.
Whether or not you like that sort of thing will definitely indicate how you’ll feel about the movie.
For my part, I do like those sort of characters, and they’re the reason why I generally enjoy Kevin Smith movies even though they are often stunningly predictable.
Of course, the fact that it’s a romantic comedy adds another layer of predictability. Turns out that the platonic friends really aren’t as content to keep things platonic as they claim, and when sex – in the form of a scene in the titular porno – is introduced to the dynamic the unspoken feelings lead to misunderstandings, resentment, a breakdown of the relationship, an epiphany, a heartfelt confession, more misunderstandings, a certain amount of hilarity, and finally, a happy ending.
As they say, though, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey, and while the comedy was – as is always the case in a Kevin Smith movie – uneven, there were some truly hilarious moments along the way.
In my opinion, if the movie had nothing else going for it – though it did have a lot going for it – it would have been a success for two reasons.
First of all, it included the MC Chris nerdcore rap classic Fett’s Vette on the soundtrack. That in and of itself would have been a selling point for me.
However, the other thing that it had going for it was the pairing of Superman and The Mac as a gay couple.
The Mac’s performance as a gay porn star in particular was entertaining. A few years ago I watched this documentary series about the porn industry on HBO, and one of the performers appearing on it was one of the most successful performers in gay porn. It seemed clear to me that The Mac also saw that and based his character on that performer.
(I don’t remember his name, and I don’t want to see the results I’ll get if I try Googling him.)
As for the titular porno itself (which really wasn’t all that tit-ular), I have to kind of wonder if Kevin Smith has ever actually seen porn. Granted, part of the idea was that it was being made by complete amateurs who had no idea what they were doing, but even so, the results seemed as though they were produced by people who had only ever had porn described to them, and described to them in only the vaguest and most general way.
Okay, fine, they make a bad porn, and that’s all part of the joke, but I can’t help but think that the badness was entirely the result of deliberate narrative choices, though I’m sure that the fact that Elizabeth Banks never actually got nude in her sex scene was due a combination of her unwillingness to give up the goods on-screen and the narrative device of Zack wanting to be “respectful” to the woman he secretly loved – a clear indication that they don’t know much about porn, as “respect” never enters into the equation – but there is one very salient point that makes it obvious that the makers of the movie in which the porno was being made had no idea what they were doing.
While the porno features a scene in which a male character is sodomized by a female character wearing a strap-on, at no point does anyone so much as mention the possibility of maybe doing a girl-girl scene.
Really, Kevin Smith? People are going to make a porn that features a guy getting ass-fucked, but never even consider having two (or more) chicks going at it? Really?
There were five guys involved in the production of the porno and not one of them thought to suggest a girl-girl scene? Really?
There are places you can go in America and find five (more or less) straight guys who don’t want to see hot girl on girl action?
Really?
There are a lot of things I’m willing to suspend my disbelief for in order to enjoy a movie, but that just is not one of them.
I mean, I can overlook the lack of nudity, close-ups, and a money shot in the Zack and Miri scene because that was all part of the build-up to the whole realization that they were in love all along, and the overall lack of extended scenes of oral sex, but no girl-girl scenes? I call bullshit.
What makes the lack of verisimilitude in the production of the porno all the more puzzling is the fact that a current (Katie Morgan, who was also featured prominently in that HBO documentary) and former (Tracy Lords, whom I have to say is looking rather old and tired these days) porn stars were actually in the movie.
Still, to be fair, Katie Morgan is what’s known as “strictly dickly,” which is to say that she only does boy-girl scenes, and Tracy has been out of the business for a very long time, and I’m sure she’s probably tried to repress a lot of her memories of how it all worked.
Still, I think the movie within a movie could have been just funny and amateurishly bad without also being almost totally unlike a real porno.
Just my two cents.
Despite that complaint, and the fact that, no matter who makes them I have a bias against romantic comedies, I did enjoy the movie, though it clearly wasn’t one of Smith’s finest efforts. Or Seth Rogen’s, for that matter. There was just something off about his performance, and he lacked some of the charm that was a major component in his former movies. Maybe it was the lack of an Appatow influence.
And of course I would have liked to have seen a lot more of Elizabeth Banks, but I went in not really expecting to, so it wasn’t really a disappointment.
Anyway, if you like Kevin Smith movies, you’ll probably like this one. If you don’t like Kevin Smith movies, this isn’t the one that’s going to change your opinion, and if you’ve never seen a Kevin Smith movie, this isn’t an ideal introduction.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
There Is No Escape
My plans for yesterday all revolved around not having to deal with children going around begging for candy.
In this regard, my plans were an utter failure.
At 3:00 employees brought their kids in to work and went around from floor to floor hitting up people for candy.
I had no idea that this was going to happen, so I had no candy to give out.
No one actually hit me up for any, but as one group went past my cube, I heard this little girl say, in a voice dripping with contempt, “No candy here.”
Snot-nosed little – I wanted to respond with, “Well how the hell was I supposed to know? This is a place of business, not a damn candy store!”
Admittedly, a candy store is also a place of business, but that’s not the line of business I work in, and is hardly the point.
Of course I didn’t say that, but I did clear the hell out of there as soon as my boss said I could take off early if I wanted, and given the child infestation, I very much did.
After I got home I sat around for a while doing the usual. I had decided to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno (more on that in a separate post) as my means of avoiding the candy-seeking horde that, unlike the one at work, I knew was coming. Not taking any chances, I left before it started to get dark, even though the movie wouldn’t start for another two hours.
Despite the fact that I had zero interest in looking into the precious little faces of the ravening horde, I had no intention of screwing them out of their full sugar fix, so I set out a bowl of candy before I left (more on that in a bit).
After 36 years spent doing so quite frequently, I’m accustomed to being wrong about things, and in fact I usually anticipate that such will be the case, but I wasn’t prepared for being wrong about so many things.
In the first place, I thought that it would take me anywhere from 15 to 20 minutes to get to the Brambleton Town Center, where the theater is located. It took me 10 minutes.
I had intended to kill the time – not counting the time I saved in getting there – by first going to the AT&T store and seeing if they were selling the Fuze, which is the AT&T-branded version of the HTC Touch Pro, the sexy new cell phone that I intend to buy, and then getting something to eat.
The only problem with this plan was that there is no AT&T store there.
This was infuriating for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that I know there used to be one there. Evidently it has since closed. Stupid economy.
I know that there was one there because I distinctly recall commenting to Scott one time when we went to see a movie there that it was funny that I could barely get service on my AT&T phone there, given the presence of an AT&T store.
And of course, my timing was such that I was there for the peak of activity in the trick-or-treating that was going on in the Town Center, so I found myself once again failing to avoid kids in costumes going around looking for candy.
I wandered around for a while, dodging miniature Spider-Men, Hulks, pirates, genies, princesses, and so forth, then decided to try out the Thai place for dinner. I figured it would be busy and that it would take a fair amount of time.
Wrong again.
For a while I was the only patron, and the whole affair took about 20 minutes from start to finish.
As an aside, I had the “Drunken Noodle,” which, despite sounding like a less risqué term for “Whiskey Dick,” was actually very good (and very spicy).
After that I wandered around aimlessly some more – at least the kids were gone by this point – and, as it was surprisingly warm out, considering how cool the day had started out, I decided I’d drop my jacket off in my car.
This was, of course, a mistake, as it began to cool rapidly. At least walking back to my car to get my jacket ate up some time.
Eventually it was time for the movie, and finally, for the first time of the evening, I was right about something: the theater wasn’t terribly busy. I had assumed it wouldn’t be, given that most people were probably out at parties or taking their kids from door to door in a quest for sugar.
So score one for Jon.
When I got home I found that all of the candy was gone…along with the bowl.
I had assumed that someone would come along and take it, which is why I bought a cheap bowl specifically for that purpose rather than using one of my good bowls, but this was something that I had hoped I’d be wrong about. I can only hope that it happened late in the evening, and that some less greedy kids actually got to have some of the candy.
I noticed later that the empty bowl was actually left on one of the big rocks in the cul-de-sac, so I was at least wrong about someone keeping the bowl.
And that was my Halloween.
I did kinda-sorta dress up for the day. I went in to work wearing jeans, a black T-shirt, and my biker jacket, and if anyone had asked – though no one did – I would have said that I was in costume as “Myself, ten years ago.”
Of course, the costume was slightly inaccurate, in that I wasn’t wearing glasses and I wasn’t hungover.
In this regard, my plans were an utter failure.
At 3:00 employees brought their kids in to work and went around from floor to floor hitting up people for candy.
I had no idea that this was going to happen, so I had no candy to give out.
No one actually hit me up for any, but as one group went past my cube, I heard this little girl say, in a voice dripping with contempt, “No candy here.”
Snot-nosed little – I wanted to respond with, “Well how the hell was I supposed to know? This is a place of business, not a damn candy store!”
Admittedly, a candy store is also a place of business, but that’s not the line of business I work in, and is hardly the point.
Of course I didn’t say that, but I did clear the hell out of there as soon as my boss said I could take off early if I wanted, and given the child infestation, I very much did.
After I got home I sat around for a while doing the usual. I had decided to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno (more on that in a separate post) as my means of avoiding the candy-seeking horde that, unlike the one at work, I knew was coming. Not taking any chances, I left before it started to get dark, even though the movie wouldn’t start for another two hours.
Despite the fact that I had zero interest in looking into the precious little faces of the ravening horde, I had no intention of screwing them out of their full sugar fix, so I set out a bowl of candy before I left (more on that in a bit).
After 36 years spent doing so quite frequently, I’m accustomed to being wrong about things, and in fact I usually anticipate that such will be the case, but I wasn’t prepared for being wrong about so many things.
In the first place, I thought that it would take me anywhere from 15 to 20 minutes to get to the Brambleton Town Center, where the theater is located. It took me 10 minutes.
I had intended to kill the time – not counting the time I saved in getting there – by first going to the AT&T store and seeing if they were selling the Fuze, which is the AT&T-branded version of the HTC Touch Pro, the sexy new cell phone that I intend to buy, and then getting something to eat.
The only problem with this plan was that there is no AT&T store there.
This was infuriating for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that I know there used to be one there. Evidently it has since closed. Stupid economy.
I know that there was one there because I distinctly recall commenting to Scott one time when we went to see a movie there that it was funny that I could barely get service on my AT&T phone there, given the presence of an AT&T store.
And of course, my timing was such that I was there for the peak of activity in the trick-or-treating that was going on in the Town Center, so I found myself once again failing to avoid kids in costumes going around looking for candy.
I wandered around for a while, dodging miniature Spider-Men, Hulks, pirates, genies, princesses, and so forth, then decided to try out the Thai place for dinner. I figured it would be busy and that it would take a fair amount of time.
Wrong again.
For a while I was the only patron, and the whole affair took about 20 minutes from start to finish.
As an aside, I had the “Drunken Noodle,” which, despite sounding like a less risqué term for “Whiskey Dick,” was actually very good (and very spicy).
After that I wandered around aimlessly some more – at least the kids were gone by this point – and, as it was surprisingly warm out, considering how cool the day had started out, I decided I’d drop my jacket off in my car.
This was, of course, a mistake, as it began to cool rapidly. At least walking back to my car to get my jacket ate up some time.
Eventually it was time for the movie, and finally, for the first time of the evening, I was right about something: the theater wasn’t terribly busy. I had assumed it wouldn’t be, given that most people were probably out at parties or taking their kids from door to door in a quest for sugar.
So score one for Jon.
When I got home I found that all of the candy was gone…along with the bowl.
I had assumed that someone would come along and take it, which is why I bought a cheap bowl specifically for that purpose rather than using one of my good bowls, but this was something that I had hoped I’d be wrong about. I can only hope that it happened late in the evening, and that some less greedy kids actually got to have some of the candy.
I noticed later that the empty bowl was actually left on one of the big rocks in the cul-de-sac, so I was at least wrong about someone keeping the bowl.
And that was my Halloween.
I did kinda-sorta dress up for the day. I went in to work wearing jeans, a black T-shirt, and my biker jacket, and if anyone had asked – though no one did – I would have said that I was in costume as “Myself, ten years ago.”
Of course, the costume was slightly inaccurate, in that I wasn’t wearing glasses and I wasn’t hungover.
Friday, October 31, 2008
In The Streets On Halloween The Spirits Will Arise
In honor of the day, I give you Halloween, as performed by the German band Helloween:
Yes, it's cheesy, and it's cheesy in a way that's only possible for a German metal band in the 80s.
Still, I have sort of a soft spot for Helloween. Despite some language barriers that can lead to some truly cheesetastic lyrics, overall I enjoy most of their songs. While in many ways their earnestness leads inexorably to cheesiness, I still kind of admire them for it, and it's clear that they do have a sense of humor about it all.
The song is from the album Keeper of the Seven Keys Part 1, which, along with Part 2, serves as a sort of semi-concept album, in that there is a specific narrative woven into many (but not all) of the songs. The full version of Halloween is 13 minutes long, and contains a lot of elements of the narrative, which were edited out in order to cut the song down to a manageable length. The end result is...well, not so good as the full-length original.
Here's a special bonus Helloween video, Dr. Stein, from Keeper of the Seven Keys Part 2:
In any case, Happy Halloween everyone. Have fun, be safe, and remember not to eat any unwrapped candy, and watch out for razor blades in those caramel apples.
Yes, it's cheesy, and it's cheesy in a way that's only possible for a German metal band in the 80s.
Still, I have sort of a soft spot for Helloween. Despite some language barriers that can lead to some truly cheesetastic lyrics, overall I enjoy most of their songs. While in many ways their earnestness leads inexorably to cheesiness, I still kind of admire them for it, and it's clear that they do have a sense of humor about it all.
The song is from the album Keeper of the Seven Keys Part 1, which, along with Part 2, serves as a sort of semi-concept album, in that there is a specific narrative woven into many (but not all) of the songs. The full version of Halloween is 13 minutes long, and contains a lot of elements of the narrative, which were edited out in order to cut the song down to a manageable length. The end result is...well, not so good as the full-length original.
Here's a special bonus Helloween video, Dr. Stein, from Keeper of the Seven Keys Part 2:
In any case, Happy Halloween everyone. Have fun, be safe, and remember not to eat any unwrapped candy, and watch out for razor blades in those caramel apples.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Save The Pie Maker
I have no faith that this will make any difference, but if you're a fan of Pushing Daisies, go to this site to try to help make sure the show doesn't get canceled.
If you're not already a fan of the show, become one. It's well worth watching and is vastly superior to the crap that you're probably watching now.
What, you don't watch crap? Well, someone is keeping all the damn reality shows on the air, and it sure as hell isn't me.
If you're not already a fan of the show, become one. It's well worth watching and is vastly superior to the crap that you're probably watching now.
What, you don't watch crap? Well, someone is keeping all the damn reality shows on the air, and it sure as hell isn't me.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Pure Awesome
No matter what your political beliefs are, there's no getting around the fact that the following video, featuring Ron Howard, Andy Griffith, and Henry Winkler is awesome.
(Found via Peter David's blog)
See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die
(Found via Peter David's blog)
Actual Birthday
Though we had the party on Sunday, today is my mom's actual birthday, so I demand that encourage all Threshold readers to join me in wishing her a happy 70th.
I'm back in the salt mines today after taking a post-trip recuperation day yesterday.
Only 37 pieces of mail in my inbox, and no voicemails, so that wasn't too bad, and I'm already back in the familiar routine.
Tonight is Riff Trax night, so I most likely won't be posting anything. Tomorrow I have my eye appointment and then a solid night of TV watching, so don't hold your breath waiting for a post.
Honestly, why would you hold your breath anyway?
I may post something Friday. I'm planning to punk out on the candy-giving by going to see a movie or something (either The Changeling or Zack and Miri Make a Porno). The neighborhood kids will still get candy from me - I'll either leave a bowl outside the house or give candy to my neighbors to hand out on my behalf - but I just don't feel up to the bother of answering the door and keeping the littlebastards scamps from wriggling their way into my house to check out my TV like they kept trying to last year.
I'm back in the salt mines today after taking a post-trip recuperation day yesterday.
Only 37 pieces of mail in my inbox, and no voicemails, so that wasn't too bad, and I'm already back in the familiar routine.
Tonight is Riff Trax night, so I most likely won't be posting anything. Tomorrow I have my eye appointment and then a solid night of TV watching, so don't hold your breath waiting for a post.
Honestly, why would you hold your breath anyway?
I may post something Friday. I'm planning to punk out on the candy-giving by going to see a movie or something (either The Changeling or Zack and Miri Make a Porno). The neighborhood kids will still get candy from me - I'll either leave a bowl outside the house or give candy to my neighbors to hand out on my behalf - but I just don't feel up to the bother of answering the door and keeping the little
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Already In Progress
As mentioned in the prior post, I’m back from a quick trip to Michigan.
My mom turns 70 on Wednesday, so a while back my brother Brad suggested that we (myself and my siblings) should throw her a party.
Weekends obviously work better for parties than weekdays, so we ended up deciding to have it on the 26th.
We couldn’t really keep the party a surprise, so instead we decided to keep it a surprise that Brad and I were going to be there for it, and told her that we were contributing money towards the party, but wouldn’t be able to get time off to be there for it.
So on Wednesday Scott stayed over so that he could bring me to the airport in the morning, and Thursday afternoon I arrived at my mother’s apartment. I called her on my cell and said, “Open your door.”
She started to cry a little and said, “Are you here?”
I said, “Just open your door.”
Fortunately my mom doesn’t have heart problems, so the surprise proved pleasant rather than fatal.
Brad could only get Friday and Monday off, as he hasn’t been at his job long enough to be able to take an actual vacation.
That night I slept on the futon in her spare bedroom, and no matter what I did I couldn’t get comfortable. The mattress provided little padding for the bar that was located directly under my tailbone, so in the morning I woke up feeling as though someone had made an enthusiastic, but poorly-aimed, attempt at sodomizing me throughout the night.
I was more than happy to relinquish the futon to Brad when he arrived on Friday.
My mom’s neighbor had an air mattress that she said we could borrow, but we went to the casino that night and hadn’t inflated it before leaving, and the battery-powered pump wasn’t up to the task of filling it quickly when we got home at nearly two in the morning.
In my prior visit I found my mom’s couch impossible to sleep on, and had ended up throwing the cushions on the floor and sleeping on them, which proved more comfortable than the couch, but still less than ideal, so this time I slept in the recliner, which proved reasonably – and surprisingly – comfortable.
Saturday morning we filled the mattress – a two hour ordeal – and set it aside for the evening.
We went to the casino again that night, and when we returned we discovered that the mattress – which had never been used before – had a slow leak, so I was back in the recliner for the remainder of my stay.
Speaking of the casino, I lost a little bit of money on Friday night and a lot of money on Saturday. Can you even call it “gambling” when it’s basically a foregone conclusion that you’re going to lose?
Brad did pretty well on Saturday, winning over $800 on a penny machine.
I only like playing regular, old-fashioned slots. Actually, “like” is too strong a word; I’m only willing to play regular, old-fashioned slots.
There are many reasons for this. For one thing, the fact that I don’t like people obviously keeps me away from the table games. For another, I have, on rare occasions, actually won money playing the regular slots, whereas I’ve never won anything playing those weird-ass penny and nickel slots with the 45+ pay lines and wacky bonus features.
Unfortunately, given the overwhelming popularity of those wacky penny slots, the casino has only a small number of regular slots available.
It’s just another instance of me having to be at odds with everything and always swimming against the popular tide.
Gamblers love the penny slots because they’re “wacky” and “fun,” and because it doesn’t seem like you’re paying all that much to play. After all, they’re only pennies.
Casinos love them because the lower the denomination, the lower the pay-out percentage can be, and people don’t seem to realize that when they’re playing all the lines with multiple credits bet on each line they’re actually putting in a lot more money than someone like me who plays a three credit quarter machine.
I’ve never really been a fan of casinos, since, as mentioned, it’s exceedingly rare for me to win anything. In the old days I could at least go sit in the bar and get trashed if I got bored, but now that’s no longer an option, so I can’t say that I really enjoy my time there.
So why go? Well, what else am I going to do?
In any case, on Sunday we had the party for my mom. A lot of people showed up and she got some nice gifts, so I’d say it was a success. It was also the first birthday party she ever had, which seems kind of crazy.
I brought my camera, but as is always the case I neglected to take many pictures. Here are a couple. The one of the family wasn’t taken by me, obviously.
Some of the gifts.
My mom opening her gifts.
The whole fam damnily.
I ended up having a late night on Sunday and an early morning on Monday, as my flight – and Brad’s – left at 6 AM. They had been forecasting a winter storm starting Sunday and lasting through Monday, so there was some concern that we might not get out on time. However, while it was cold, windy, and rainy, no snow materialized and we got off on time. I was distressed to discover upon returning to Virginia, however, that there wasn’t much of an improvement in terms of weather.
I kept dozing off on the flight out of Minneapolis, which was sort of odd, as I was listening to my iPod, and I would just sort of black out for a few minutes. I’d be listening to one song, nod off, and awake to find another song entirely playing.
I had a four hour layover in Minneapolis, which sucked, but at least I got back here relatively early in the day, giving me plenty of time to get in some serious napping.
And now you’re pretty much up to date. Today I got up and went grocery shopping, and now I have to get started on doing the laundry as I return to my regularly-scheduled life, already in progress.
My mom turns 70 on Wednesday, so a while back my brother Brad suggested that we (myself and my siblings) should throw her a party.
Weekends obviously work better for parties than weekdays, so we ended up deciding to have it on the 26th.
We couldn’t really keep the party a surprise, so instead we decided to keep it a surprise that Brad and I were going to be there for it, and told her that we were contributing money towards the party, but wouldn’t be able to get time off to be there for it.
So on Wednesday Scott stayed over so that he could bring me to the airport in the morning, and Thursday afternoon I arrived at my mother’s apartment. I called her on my cell and said, “Open your door.”
She started to cry a little and said, “Are you here?”
I said, “Just open your door.”
Fortunately my mom doesn’t have heart problems, so the surprise proved pleasant rather than fatal.
Brad could only get Friday and Monday off, as he hasn’t been at his job long enough to be able to take an actual vacation.
That night I slept on the futon in her spare bedroom, and no matter what I did I couldn’t get comfortable. The mattress provided little padding for the bar that was located directly under my tailbone, so in the morning I woke up feeling as though someone had made an enthusiastic, but poorly-aimed, attempt at sodomizing me throughout the night.
I was more than happy to relinquish the futon to Brad when he arrived on Friday.
My mom’s neighbor had an air mattress that she said we could borrow, but we went to the casino that night and hadn’t inflated it before leaving, and the battery-powered pump wasn’t up to the task of filling it quickly when we got home at nearly two in the morning.
In my prior visit I found my mom’s couch impossible to sleep on, and had ended up throwing the cushions on the floor and sleeping on them, which proved more comfortable than the couch, but still less than ideal, so this time I slept in the recliner, which proved reasonably – and surprisingly – comfortable.
Saturday morning we filled the mattress – a two hour ordeal – and set it aside for the evening.
We went to the casino again that night, and when we returned we discovered that the mattress – which had never been used before – had a slow leak, so I was back in the recliner for the remainder of my stay.
Speaking of the casino, I lost a little bit of money on Friday night and a lot of money on Saturday. Can you even call it “gambling” when it’s basically a foregone conclusion that you’re going to lose?
Brad did pretty well on Saturday, winning over $800 on a penny machine.
I only like playing regular, old-fashioned slots. Actually, “like” is too strong a word; I’m only willing to play regular, old-fashioned slots.
There are many reasons for this. For one thing, the fact that I don’t like people obviously keeps me away from the table games. For another, I have, on rare occasions, actually won money playing the regular slots, whereas I’ve never won anything playing those weird-ass penny and nickel slots with the 45+ pay lines and wacky bonus features.
Unfortunately, given the overwhelming popularity of those wacky penny slots, the casino has only a small number of regular slots available.
It’s just another instance of me having to be at odds with everything and always swimming against the popular tide.
Gamblers love the penny slots because they’re “wacky” and “fun,” and because it doesn’t seem like you’re paying all that much to play. After all, they’re only pennies.
Casinos love them because the lower the denomination, the lower the pay-out percentage can be, and people don’t seem to realize that when they’re playing all the lines with multiple credits bet on each line they’re actually putting in a lot more money than someone like me who plays a three credit quarter machine.
I’ve never really been a fan of casinos, since, as mentioned, it’s exceedingly rare for me to win anything. In the old days I could at least go sit in the bar and get trashed if I got bored, but now that’s no longer an option, so I can’t say that I really enjoy my time there.
So why go? Well, what else am I going to do?
In any case, on Sunday we had the party for my mom. A lot of people showed up and she got some nice gifts, so I’d say it was a success. It was also the first birthday party she ever had, which seems kind of crazy.
I brought my camera, but as is always the case I neglected to take many pictures. Here are a couple. The one of the family wasn’t taken by me, obviously.
Some of the gifts.
My mom opening her gifts.
The whole fam damnily.
I ended up having a late night on Sunday and an early morning on Monday, as my flight – and Brad’s – left at 6 AM. They had been forecasting a winter storm starting Sunday and lasting through Monday, so there was some concern that we might not get out on time. However, while it was cold, windy, and rainy, no snow materialized and we got off on time. I was distressed to discover upon returning to Virginia, however, that there wasn’t much of an improvement in terms of weather.
I kept dozing off on the flight out of Minneapolis, which was sort of odd, as I was listening to my iPod, and I would just sort of black out for a few minutes. I’d be listening to one song, nod off, and awake to find another song entirely playing.
I had a four hour layover in Minneapolis, which sucked, but at least I got back here relatively early in the day, giving me plenty of time to get in some serious napping.
And now you’re pretty much up to date. Today I got up and went grocery shopping, and now I have to get started on doing the laundry as I return to my regularly-scheduled life, already in progress.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Mmm....Bed
So I'm back from Michigan.
First order of business upon my return was to get reacquainted with my bed.
After that it was all sitting around and putting off doing stuff - like writing a proper entry about my trip - until tomorrow.
First order of business upon my return was to get reacquainted with my bed.
After that it was all sitting around and putting off doing stuff - like writing a proper entry about my trip - until tomorrow.
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