Tuesday, September 30, 2008

It Could Just As Easily Have Been Corndogs Again

I read on Neil Gaiman’s blog that there were 1,400 people in line for the signing on Saturday. At 5:00 as the Festival was coming to an end, he got up from the booth and went down the line quickly scrawling a signature for the hundred or so people still waiting.
Besides the fact that he’s an amazing writer, that sort of thing is the reason he has so many fans. I mean, the guy signed books for over four hours…with a fractured finger.
If I had ever managed to become a successful writer, you can be sure I wouldn’t have been so considerate of my fans. Not because of ingratitude or hostility towards them, but simply because of laziness.
On the way home from work today I got stuck behind someone driving a Subaru Legacy with some sort of big metal contraption affixed to the back of it. Apparently it was a bike rack, but it looked like the kind of thing the A-Team would attach to a vehicle as part of the armor-plating process.
The other day I was thinking, “I haven’t made lasagna in a long time.”
I found this surprising because 1. I like lasagna 2. It’s easy to make and 3. With the multiple cans of Baroni’s spaghetti sauce that my mom bought me for my birthday, it’s possible for me to make real lasagna.
Lacking the Baroni’s, I’ve used other store-bought sauces, and it’s been fine, but it’s not what I grew up with.
In any case, I decided that lasagna would be good for the next Riff Trax night with Scott, so tonight I prepared it with the intention of baking it tomorrow night.
After finishing up and putting the lasagna away, I said, “That’s fine for tomorrow, but what am I going to eat tonight?”
I opened the freezer and considered my options, finally deciding on some kind of microwaveable TV dinner thing.
Afterwards my stomach was complaining, as it often does when I eat that sort of thing, that it wasn’t enough. I told it, “Oh, shut up; that was plenty, and it was sufficiently food-like. Just be thankful it wasn’t corndogs again.”
Ah, my life; it never ceases to be amazing.
Wait, not amazing. Inane and boring. My life never ceases to be inane and boring.

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