Saturday, September 01, 2007
Just Because I Think Liz Looks REALLY Good In This Video
(And I'm afraid that the answer to her question is no, though I think that has rather more to do with her than with me.)
Hot Chicks Review (Which Is Not At All Like A Hot Chicks Revue)
I’ve had a few people leaving comments on older posts encouraging me to check out http://www.316now.com/ in order to learn about the short films based on Chick Tracts that are collectively known as Hot Chicks.
I am, of course, aware of the site and the films, and, in fact, have made my “donation” and received my “free gift” of a DVD containing all nine films.
(I put the quotes in because while for all intents and purposes I bought the DVD from them, calling the purchase price a “donation,” and calling the DVD a “free gift” helps them get around copyright issues.)
Prior to the loss of my Internet connection I had intended to post a review of the DVD, but never got around to it. I suppose that now is as good a time as any.
The nine short films are based on the following tracts: Bewitched, La Princesita (The Little Princess – they went with the Spanish language version of the tract for some reason, despite the fact that the film is mostly in English), Doom Town, Titanic, Angels?, Wounded Children (I’ve posted the YouTube videos of this one), Party Girl, Cleo, and Somebody Goofed.
Overall I enjoyed the film adaptations of these classic tracts, though I have some personal “favorites” among the tracts that I would have rather seen adapted than some of the ones that were. I would much rather have seen Dark Dungeons, or The Nervous Witch adapted to the screen than Cleo, which I’ve always thought to be one of Jack’s weaker pieces.
Some animated versions (a la Peanuts) of the Lil Susy tracts would have also been welcome additions.
Also, while sub-porno production values and performances are totally in keeping with the quality of Jack’s work, it would have been a bold choice to produce an entirely earnest, well-acted, and well-budgeted version of one of the tracts. Playing it with a totally straight face and an apparent reverence for the source material would have made the end result that much funnier, I think.
Even so, there were many bright spots on the DVD, not the least of which was the appearance of French Stewart as the Devil in Party Girl (“Bye-bye Jill; I win again!”)
Being an uninteresting tract, Cleo, naturally, was an uninteresting short film.
Titanic had a lot of potential, consisting of scenes from the blockbuster movie of the same name overdubbed with dialogue from the tract. In theory, this was a great idea; in practice it fell short. However, it did have its redeeming points, such as the scene of people falling to their deaths as the front half of the ship heaves up and begins to sink, each one yelling something like “I accept Jesus Christ as my personal saviorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”
The scenes of Hell, which were taken from Jack’s own move, The Light of the World (a review of which, I promise, I will one day post), were very effectively disturbing, particularly with the choice in music. I had not previously known that Tori Amos had recorded a cover of the classic Slayer song Rain In Blood before hearing it in Titanic.
I have to say, it’s a far spookier song when she sings it.
The same people who made Titanic also made Somebody Goofed, which was far more effective than their first effort. By taking the actual artwork from the tract and animating it, having no spoken dialogue and instead opting to include the word balloons from the tract, and through an effective choice in mood-setting music, they managed to create something that I’d have to describe as hauntingly beautiful, and somewhat reminiscent of the work of Dave McKean.
Words can’t really do this one justice, but, sadly, it doesn’t appear to be available on YouTube.
Doom Town was played with a little too much camp, and, in some way that I can’t quite articulate, the wrong kind of camp. And while I can understand why the people behind it made the decision to do so, I really wish they hadn’t used footage from 9/11 to depict the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I could easily go the rest of my life without having to see that again.
In fairness, though, the scenes of people acting out the laundry list of sins that were committed in those doomed cities were entertaining, but where was the big hairy pederast telling the kid “It’s that time Again!” which is one of the most famous (or perhaps infamous) scenes from the titular tract?
Wounded Children is probably my favorite of the bunch, having the right amount – and the right kind – of campy content, though to be perfect, it would have featured Will Arnett, of Arrested Development and the upcoming The Brothers Solomon fame, in the role of the demon. Of course, I only say that because the guy playing the demon – who, in fairness, did an excellent job – sounded so much like him.
La Princesita and Bewitched also hit all of the right campy notes, and all are acted, appropriately, with a great deal of enthusiasm and high school play levels of acting ability.
Ultimately, the content of the DVD was worth the cost of the “donation,” and I hope that others will pick up the gauntlet thrown down by Hot Chicks and bring even more tracts to life.
For those looking for more Chick action, check out Enter The Jabberwock, a site that regularly features hilarious dissections of Chick Tracts.
And of course, all of the tracts that are still in print can be found at the Chick Publications Official Site.
I am, of course, aware of the site and the films, and, in fact, have made my “donation” and received my “free gift” of a DVD containing all nine films.
(I put the quotes in because while for all intents and purposes I bought the DVD from them, calling the purchase price a “donation,” and calling the DVD a “free gift” helps them get around copyright issues.)
Prior to the loss of my Internet connection I had intended to post a review of the DVD, but never got around to it. I suppose that now is as good a time as any.
The nine short films are based on the following tracts: Bewitched, La Princesita (The Little Princess – they went with the Spanish language version of the tract for some reason, despite the fact that the film is mostly in English), Doom Town, Titanic, Angels?, Wounded Children (I’ve posted the YouTube videos of this one), Party Girl, Cleo, and Somebody Goofed.
Overall I enjoyed the film adaptations of these classic tracts, though I have some personal “favorites” among the tracts that I would have rather seen adapted than some of the ones that were. I would much rather have seen Dark Dungeons, or The Nervous Witch adapted to the screen than Cleo, which I’ve always thought to be one of Jack’s weaker pieces.
Some animated versions (a la Peanuts) of the Lil Susy tracts would have also been welcome additions.
Also, while sub-porno production values and performances are totally in keeping with the quality of Jack’s work, it would have been a bold choice to produce an entirely earnest, well-acted, and well-budgeted version of one of the tracts. Playing it with a totally straight face and an apparent reverence for the source material would have made the end result that much funnier, I think.
Even so, there were many bright spots on the DVD, not the least of which was the appearance of French Stewart as the Devil in Party Girl (“Bye-bye Jill; I win again!”)
Being an uninteresting tract, Cleo, naturally, was an uninteresting short film.
Titanic had a lot of potential, consisting of scenes from the blockbuster movie of the same name overdubbed with dialogue from the tract. In theory, this was a great idea; in practice it fell short. However, it did have its redeeming points, such as the scene of people falling to their deaths as the front half of the ship heaves up and begins to sink, each one yelling something like “I accept Jesus Christ as my personal saviorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”
The scenes of Hell, which were taken from Jack’s own move, The Light of the World (a review of which, I promise, I will one day post), were very effectively disturbing, particularly with the choice in music. I had not previously known that Tori Amos had recorded a cover of the classic Slayer song Rain In Blood before hearing it in Titanic.
I have to say, it’s a far spookier song when she sings it.
The same people who made Titanic also made Somebody Goofed, which was far more effective than their first effort. By taking the actual artwork from the tract and animating it, having no spoken dialogue and instead opting to include the word balloons from the tract, and through an effective choice in mood-setting music, they managed to create something that I’d have to describe as hauntingly beautiful, and somewhat reminiscent of the work of Dave McKean.
Words can’t really do this one justice, but, sadly, it doesn’t appear to be available on YouTube.
Doom Town was played with a little too much camp, and, in some way that I can’t quite articulate, the wrong kind of camp. And while I can understand why the people behind it made the decision to do so, I really wish they hadn’t used footage from 9/11 to depict the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I could easily go the rest of my life without having to see that again.
In fairness, though, the scenes of people acting out the laundry list of sins that were committed in those doomed cities were entertaining, but where was the big hairy pederast telling the kid “It’s that time Again!” which is one of the most famous (or perhaps infamous) scenes from the titular tract?
Wounded Children is probably my favorite of the bunch, having the right amount – and the right kind – of campy content, though to be perfect, it would have featured Will Arnett, of Arrested Development and the upcoming The Brothers Solomon fame, in the role of the demon. Of course, I only say that because the guy playing the demon – who, in fairness, did an excellent job – sounded so much like him.
La Princesita and Bewitched also hit all of the right campy notes, and all are acted, appropriately, with a great deal of enthusiasm and high school play levels of acting ability.
Ultimately, the content of the DVD was worth the cost of the “donation,” and I hope that others will pick up the gauntlet thrown down by Hot Chicks and bring even more tracts to life.
For those looking for more Chick action, check out Enter The Jabberwock, a site that regularly features hilarious dissections of Chick Tracts.
And of course, all of the tracts that are still in print can be found at the Chick Publications Official Site.
Who Would Pay For THAT? Geez, Nothing Is Free Anymore
Latest spam subject line:
Best prices for impotence!
Best prices for impotence!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Well Put
Apart from the line in the movie Airheads which declared him to be God, this is the most apt description of Lemmy, lead singer of Motörhead that I've ever encountered:
"[...]Lemmy himself, basically a walking, swearing piece of leather. "
From Best Week Ever
(Seeing Motörhead perform live at Ozzfest 98 remains one of the highlights of my life. I had a friend who once asked, "Why do we even bother listening to anything that isn't Motörhead?" To this day I can't honestly provide an answer.)
"[...]Lemmy himself, basically a walking, swearing piece of leather. "
From Best Week Ever
(Seeing Motörhead perform live at Ozzfest 98 remains one of the highlights of my life. I had a friend who once asked, "Why do we even bother listening to anything that isn't Motörhead?" To this day I can't honestly provide an answer.)
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Christmas Morning Redux
Yesterday I mentioned the whole "Christmas Morning" effect of having my Internet acces back. Today I had another Christmas Morning feeling when I got home from my training in the form of the rest of my comics arriving:
Like any Christmas Morning, there was the inevitable letdown. In this case it was discovering that Milehigh had shipped me the worng Legion of Super-Heroes Annuals.
It's an understandable mistake. In 1984, what had been Legion of Super-Heroes became Tales of The Legion of Super-Heroes, and a new series that was sold only in comic book stores or via subscription was launced under the old title, Legion of Super-Heroes.
I had ordered the two Annuals published before 1984, #1 and #2, but what I got were the two Annuals published after 1984, which, confusingly enough, are also #1 and #2.
Not too big of a deal - it's not like I mind having them, but I did go back and re-order the ones I wanted, adding a note specifying which #1 and #2 I want.
I also found that in order to complete the epic Legion storyline The Great Darkness Saga, I needed one more issue, which Milehigh didn't have in stock (but mycomicshop.com did).
While I was in the training, I realized that I'd need to stop somewhere for food on the way home. I didn't want a burger or pizza, and realized that Chinese would be good.
I wanted a particular dish that isn't available at a lot of the Chinese places I've been to (Shredded Pork with Dry Bean Curd...good stuff). In fact, I only know of two places that have it on the menu.
One was there in Reston. The other was the Chinese place in the plaza across from my old apartment in Ashburn.
While the place in Reston was closer, since I was already in Reston, my memory of how to get there wasn't all that great, and the place in Ashburn actually involved going slightly less out of my way, as I could take the Greenway to Ashburn, then take Sycolin (a back road) straight home to Leesburg.
So I stopped in Ashburn, walked in, looked at the menu on the wall to find the menu number just in case (P14), and said, "I'll have a large Pork and Dry Bean Curd."
The crabby-looking young woman behind the counter (who had been busy doing something when I got there, then would mess with me by looking up like she was ready to take my order before going back to what she was doing) furrowed her brow and said, "We no have that."
I looked at P14 on the menu board on the wall behind her, looked at her, looked at P14, looked at her, and said, "Uhhhhh...what?"
When I pointed out that it was on the menu, she dismissively said, "That old menu."
One of the drawbacks to not going to the place in Reston had been that their version was much better than the place in Ashburn. Now I learned that Reston's was now even better simply because it still (as far as I know) exists.
So I settled on Beef with Broccoli and then made my way home, where my dinner disappointment was mollified by my delight in receiving my comics.
And that was pretty much my day in a nutshell: small disappointments mixed with small delights.
This weekend my mom will be auctioning off a bunch of stuff at her house (including the house; the auction service charges a lower fee than a realtor) in Twin Lakes. If, by some chance, you're going to be out that way, stop by and buy something. You can see the details of the auction here.
In any case, that'll do it for this entry.
Like any Christmas Morning, there was the inevitable letdown. In this case it was discovering that Milehigh had shipped me the worng Legion of Super-Heroes Annuals.
It's an understandable mistake. In 1984, what had been Legion of Super-Heroes became Tales of The Legion of Super-Heroes, and a new series that was sold only in comic book stores or via subscription was launced under the old title, Legion of Super-Heroes.
I had ordered the two Annuals published before 1984, #1 and #2, but what I got were the two Annuals published after 1984, which, confusingly enough, are also #1 and #2.
Not too big of a deal - it's not like I mind having them, but I did go back and re-order the ones I wanted, adding a note specifying which #1 and #2 I want.
I also found that in order to complete the epic Legion storyline The Great Darkness Saga, I needed one more issue, which Milehigh didn't have in stock (but mycomicshop.com did).
While I was in the training, I realized that I'd need to stop somewhere for food on the way home. I didn't want a burger or pizza, and realized that Chinese would be good.
I wanted a particular dish that isn't available at a lot of the Chinese places I've been to (Shredded Pork with Dry Bean Curd...good stuff). In fact, I only know of two places that have it on the menu.
One was there in Reston. The other was the Chinese place in the plaza across from my old apartment in Ashburn.
While the place in Reston was closer, since I was already in Reston, my memory of how to get there wasn't all that great, and the place in Ashburn actually involved going slightly less out of my way, as I could take the Greenway to Ashburn, then take Sycolin (a back road) straight home to Leesburg.
So I stopped in Ashburn, walked in, looked at the menu on the wall to find the menu number just in case (P14), and said, "I'll have a large Pork and Dry Bean Curd."
The crabby-looking young woman behind the counter (who had been busy doing something when I got there, then would mess with me by looking up like she was ready to take my order before going back to what she was doing) furrowed her brow and said, "We no have that."
I looked at P14 on the menu board on the wall behind her, looked at her, looked at P14, looked at her, and said, "Uhhhhh...what?"
When I pointed out that it was on the menu, she dismissively said, "That old menu."
One of the drawbacks to not going to the place in Reston had been that their version was much better than the place in Ashburn. Now I learned that Reston's was now even better simply because it still (as far as I know) exists.
So I settled on Beef with Broccoli and then made my way home, where my dinner disappointment was mollified by my delight in receiving my comics.
And that was pretty much my day in a nutshell: small disappointments mixed with small delights.
This weekend my mom will be auctioning off a bunch of stuff at her house (including the house; the auction service charges a lower fee than a realtor) in Twin Lakes. If, by some chance, you're going to be out that way, stop by and buy something. You can see the details of the auction here.
In any case, that'll do it for this entry.
The Threshold Birthday...Wait, What's The Opposite Of Extravaganza?
First of all, I want to send out birthday greetings to the always lovely and talented Carla Gugino, who, in this picture I did in honor of her birthday, demonstrates that among her many talents she really knows how to wear a vest.
And of course if it’s Ms. Gugino’s birthday that also means that it’s Threshold’s birthday.
Yes, that’s right, it’s been three years since I single-handedly changed the world by becoming the billionth person to jump into that mass of incoherent and pointless ramblings that collectively make up what is stupidly referred to as the blogosphere.
(Huh. “Blogosphere” is actually recognized as a word by Word’s dictionary.)
So it’s been three years of examining the endless minutiae of my uneventful life, three years of random complaints, and three years of the occasional picture.
Somehow it seems like it’s been longer.
It must seem even longer to you poor, hardy souls out there who actually plod your way through it all.
Or at least skimmed through some of it.
So I want to say thanks to all of you – all six or so – who are gluttons for punishment and keep coming back for more.
Or less, as the case may be.
So with that out of the way, let’s get back to what I do best: rambling on pointlessly about nothing.
I got up early this morning to bring my car to the dealership for the safety inspection.
Remember that: the fact that it was the safety inspection is an important detail.
I went in anticipating that I’d be waiting for over an hour and would eventually have someone from the service department come out and explain all of the work that would need to be done in order for my car to pass the inspection, so I was surprised when, after about 30 minutes, my name was called by the cashier.
I paid my $28, took my key and receipt, shrugged off my confusion when she said that my “DMV paperwork” was on the front seat, as I couldn’t remember if that was normal or not, and walked out to my car.
I was about to adjust the seat and leave when I noticed that the sticker on my windshield still said 8/07. So I looked at the paperwork and saw that I’d passed…the emissions inspection.
Longtime readers may recall that there was a whole saga involving my attempts to pass the emissions inspection several months ago, but I did eventually pass it, and don’t actually need to have it done again until my registration expires in 2009.
So I went back in, explained the situation, was told that I’d be credited back the difference (safety inspection only costs $16), and sat down to wait for another 45 minutes.
Amazingly enough, the car did actually pass without needing any work.
I don’t think that’s happened since 2003.
While I was waiting there (the first time) there was also a pretty teenaged girl waiting. Not sure of her ethnicity, but I’m going to guess Indian.
She was talking on the phone in her native language, and I learned that overuse of the word “like” among teens is, like, universal.
She’d be talking, “native language, native language, like, more native language.”
I did my best not to laugh.
And now I’m home. I have to go to a training session this afternoon, with plans to stop at the comic shop on the way.
I’ll let you know how that turns out, because, after all, that’s what I do, and have been doing for three years.
And of course if it’s Ms. Gugino’s birthday that also means that it’s Threshold’s birthday.
Yes, that’s right, it’s been three years since I single-handedly changed the world by becoming the billionth person to jump into that mass of incoherent and pointless ramblings that collectively make up what is stupidly referred to as the blogosphere.
(Huh. “Blogosphere” is actually recognized as a word by Word’s dictionary.)
So it’s been three years of examining the endless minutiae of my uneventful life, three years of random complaints, and three years of the occasional picture.
Somehow it seems like it’s been longer.
It must seem even longer to you poor, hardy souls out there who actually plod your way through it all.
Or at least skimmed through some of it.
So I want to say thanks to all of you – all six or so – who are gluttons for punishment and keep coming back for more.
Or less, as the case may be.
So with that out of the way, let’s get back to what I do best: rambling on pointlessly about nothing.
I got up early this morning to bring my car to the dealership for the safety inspection.
Remember that: the fact that it was the safety inspection is an important detail.
I went in anticipating that I’d be waiting for over an hour and would eventually have someone from the service department come out and explain all of the work that would need to be done in order for my car to pass the inspection, so I was surprised when, after about 30 minutes, my name was called by the cashier.
I paid my $28, took my key and receipt, shrugged off my confusion when she said that my “DMV paperwork” was on the front seat, as I couldn’t remember if that was normal or not, and walked out to my car.
I was about to adjust the seat and leave when I noticed that the sticker on my windshield still said 8/07. So I looked at the paperwork and saw that I’d passed…the emissions inspection.
Longtime readers may recall that there was a whole saga involving my attempts to pass the emissions inspection several months ago, but I did eventually pass it, and don’t actually need to have it done again until my registration expires in 2009.
So I went back in, explained the situation, was told that I’d be credited back the difference (safety inspection only costs $16), and sat down to wait for another 45 minutes.
Amazingly enough, the car did actually pass without needing any work.
I don’t think that’s happened since 2003.
While I was waiting there (the first time) there was also a pretty teenaged girl waiting. Not sure of her ethnicity, but I’m going to guess Indian.
She was talking on the phone in her native language, and I learned that overuse of the word “like” among teens is, like, universal.
She’d be talking, “native language, native language, like, more native language.”
I did my best not to laugh.
And now I’m home. I have to go to a training session this afternoon, with plans to stop at the comic shop on the way.
I’ll let you know how that turns out, because, after all, that’s what I do, and have been doing for three years.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Oh Yeah
I forgot to mention that as of today I've been sober for seven years.
So, "yay, me," and such.
So, "yay, me," and such.
A Ceramic Tile In The Making?
So I ended up not being out and about for quite as long as I’d anticipated, mostly because I couldn’t get my car inspected (more on that in a second), and I forgot to do one of the other things that I had on my agenda for today.
That I forgot the one thing isn’t really a big deal, as it’s not something that’s time-sensitive.
Rather than making an appointment to get my car inspected at the dealership I was going to go to this one place that does inspections Jiffy Lube style. No appointment necessary, just get in line…assuming the line isn’t too long. Today it was.
So, figuring that I’ll probably need to have them fix whatever problems will inevitably come up during the inspection, I figured I’d stop by the dealership to see if they had any openings, and of course they didn’t, so I have to go in tomorrow morning.
My car is very nearly paid off, so now is, of course, the time for it to develop major problems, though I do still have bumper to bumper warranty coverage for several months.
I had wanted to sleep in a bit this morning, especially since I’d had a hard time, for reasons that are beyond me, getting to sleep last night.
Of course, it was Lawn Care Tuesday, so that meant being awoken promptly at 8 AM by the lawnmower outside my window. Even if I’d held on and waited for that to finish to try to get back to sleep, there were still the remaining two events of the day: the grass trimmer and the leaf blower.
So I got up.
After being without proper Internet service for so long, getting it back felt rather like Christmas morning, but it didn’t take long for it feel like Christmas afternoon, with the thrills of anticipation and discovery gone, leaving behind a sort of disappointed lethargy.
After getting caught up with some of the more bandwidth-intensive sites that I haven’t been able to visit and downloading a couple of things, I was pretty much back to being bored with the Internet.
Still, my blood hatred of DirecPath has not waned. That I’m done with the Internet so quickly isn’t the point.
I was just watching that show How It’s Made a bit ago. They were showing how ceramic tiles are made. At one point in the process the mixture that eventually becomes the tiles was referred to as being “slightly damp and very lumpy.”
I said, “Huh. Just like me.”
That I forgot the one thing isn’t really a big deal, as it’s not something that’s time-sensitive.
Rather than making an appointment to get my car inspected at the dealership I was going to go to this one place that does inspections Jiffy Lube style. No appointment necessary, just get in line…assuming the line isn’t too long. Today it was.
So, figuring that I’ll probably need to have them fix whatever problems will inevitably come up during the inspection, I figured I’d stop by the dealership to see if they had any openings, and of course they didn’t, so I have to go in tomorrow morning.
My car is very nearly paid off, so now is, of course, the time for it to develop major problems, though I do still have bumper to bumper warranty coverage for several months.
I had wanted to sleep in a bit this morning, especially since I’d had a hard time, for reasons that are beyond me, getting to sleep last night.
Of course, it was Lawn Care Tuesday, so that meant being awoken promptly at 8 AM by the lawnmower outside my window. Even if I’d held on and waited for that to finish to try to get back to sleep, there were still the remaining two events of the day: the grass trimmer and the leaf blower.
So I got up.
After being without proper Internet service for so long, getting it back felt rather like Christmas morning, but it didn’t take long for it feel like Christmas afternoon, with the thrills of anticipation and discovery gone, leaving behind a sort of disappointed lethargy.
After getting caught up with some of the more bandwidth-intensive sites that I haven’t been able to visit and downloading a couple of things, I was pretty much back to being bored with the Internet.
Still, my blood hatred of DirecPath has not waned. That I’m done with the Internet so quickly isn’t the point.
I was just watching that show How It’s Made a bit ago. They were showing how ceramic tiles are made. At one point in the process the mixture that eventually becomes the tiles was referred to as being “slightly damp and very lumpy.”
I said, “Huh. Just like me.”
Monday, August 27, 2007
Hail To The King
Neil Gaiman posted a link to a great New York Times Op Ed piece on comics legend Jack "King" Kirby, and I'm going to do the same here.
I think that even people who aren't interested in comics at all should read it because Jack really was a monumental figure not only in comics but in American life, and I say that without hyperbole or fear of contradiction.
(Bring it, Contradiction: I'm not scared of you! I'll kick your ass!)
My favorite quote from the article:
Even at rest, a Kirby character pulsed with tension and energy in a way that makes movie versions of the same characters seem static by comparison.
That was the thing that bothered me the most about the most recent Fantastic Four movie and its treatment of Galactus (and honestly, to a lesser extent, even the Ultimate version in the comics): you really thought you could do it better than Stan and Jack did it?
In any case, I'm greatly enjoying having my high(ish) speed Internet back.
(Oh porn, how I missed you!)
It turns out that the problem wasn't actually my modem, but resolving it still required that my modem be replaced.
Apparently there was a lot of mucking around going on with the network, which had resulted in things like my speed being cut by over 75% several months ago. What? You mean I didn't always have such a slow connection? You mean I wasn't lying when I said I'd had better speeds for over a year?
The contractor - the "Asian Guy" mentioned by the goober - flat-out told me, "Someone had to have set your profile for that." When I mentioned what I'd been told about it, he said, "They lied." I said, "No shit.
In any case, while my modem was still provisioned, it was no longer on the network, and he couldn't get it back on, so he simply had a new modem provisioned for me, and voila!
The "Asian Guy," by the way, was extremely apologetic for it all, and oddly deferential. When he first arrived, he asked for permission to come in, and then permission to come into the bedroom. Then he went outside to make some calls to sort the thing out, and when he came back, he asked permission all over again. I was like, "What are you, a vampire with OCD?"
After he left I went out into the world to buy a new belt and get some dinner.
I needed a belt because my other belt broke, and I've been wearing a belt of late in order to clip my phone to it, as clipping it directly to my waistband causes my pants to droop and my skin (read: flab) to get pinched if I turn the wrong way.
Last week when I got home from the comic shop and eating my "Krapow!" the buckle came flying off while I was using the facilities. Long story short, as was inevitable, given that I'm Jon, the buckled landed in the pre-flushed bowl.
There wasn't any way to repair it, so I replaced the belt. Getting a belt today was a priority, as I'll be out and about quite a bit tomorrow, so I wanted to be able to start the day with a belt on which to clip my phone.
Once I got home from belt and dinner buying I foudn that two of my comics had arrived. I was mistaken on the conditions: Next Men #21 is Near Mint, despite costing over $50 less than the Near Mint copy at Milehigh Comics, and the other, which sold for $24 in Near Mint at Milehigh, is in Fine condition.
I'm hoping the larger order from Milehigh will arrive tomrrow.
Speaking of tomorrow, among the many things I need to do is get my annual state safety inspection done on my car. I have a feeling it won't pass just because it hasn't for the last years without first having some work done, but I have to at least make the attempt before the month is over.
In any case, it feels very good to be back in the 21st century and have a high(ish) speed Internet connection again, and to be able to more easily deliver updates to you, my devoted readership, who have perhaps suffered the most from my extended loss of service.
I'll do what I can to make it up to you.
I think that even people who aren't interested in comics at all should read it because Jack really was a monumental figure not only in comics but in American life, and I say that without hyperbole or fear of contradiction.
(Bring it, Contradiction: I'm not scared of you! I'll kick your ass!)
My favorite quote from the article:
Even at rest, a Kirby character pulsed with tension and energy in a way that makes movie versions of the same characters seem static by comparison.
That was the thing that bothered me the most about the most recent Fantastic Four movie and its treatment of Galactus (and honestly, to a lesser extent, even the Ultimate version in the comics): you really thought you could do it better than Stan and Jack did it?
In any case, I'm greatly enjoying having my high(ish) speed Internet back.
(Oh porn, how I missed you!)
It turns out that the problem wasn't actually my modem, but resolving it still required that my modem be replaced.
Apparently there was a lot of mucking around going on with the network, which had resulted in things like my speed being cut by over 75% several months ago. What? You mean I didn't always have such a slow connection? You mean I wasn't lying when I said I'd had better speeds for over a year?
The contractor - the "Asian Guy" mentioned by the goober - flat-out told me, "Someone had to have set your profile for that." When I mentioned what I'd been told about it, he said, "They lied." I said, "No shit.
In any case, while my modem was still provisioned, it was no longer on the network, and he couldn't get it back on, so he simply had a new modem provisioned for me, and voila!
The "Asian Guy," by the way, was extremely apologetic for it all, and oddly deferential. When he first arrived, he asked for permission to come in, and then permission to come into the bedroom. Then he went outside to make some calls to sort the thing out, and when he came back, he asked permission all over again. I was like, "What are you, a vampire with OCD?"
After he left I went out into the world to buy a new belt and get some dinner.
I needed a belt because my other belt broke, and I've been wearing a belt of late in order to clip my phone to it, as clipping it directly to my waistband causes my pants to droop and my skin (read: flab) to get pinched if I turn the wrong way.
Last week when I got home from the comic shop and eating my "Krapow!" the buckle came flying off while I was using the facilities. Long story short, as was inevitable, given that I'm Jon, the buckled landed in the pre-flushed bowl.
There wasn't any way to repair it, so I replaced the belt. Getting a belt today was a priority, as I'll be out and about quite a bit tomorrow, so I wanted to be able to start the day with a belt on which to clip my phone.
Once I got home from belt and dinner buying I foudn that two of my comics had arrived. I was mistaken on the conditions: Next Men #21 is Near Mint, despite costing over $50 less than the Near Mint copy at Milehigh Comics, and the other, which sold for $24 in Near Mint at Milehigh, is in Fine condition.
I'm hoping the larger order from Milehigh will arrive tomrrow.
Speaking of tomorrow, among the many things I need to do is get my annual state safety inspection done on my car. I have a feeling it won't pass just because it hasn't for the last years without first having some work done, but I have to at least make the attempt before the month is over.
In any case, it feels very good to be back in the 21st century and have a high(ish) speed Internet connection again, and to be able to more easily deliver updates to you, my devoted readership, who have perhaps suffered the most from my extended loss of service.
I'll do what I can to make it up to you.
I'm (Finally) Back, Bitches!
It only took 24 days, but my shitty, shitty cable company finally has me back online, and even nearly back to my (still too low, but better) original speeds.
Sometimes miracles can happen...if you bitch enough while bending over and taking it up the backside.
Real posts will begin to appear soon.
Sometimes miracles can happen...if you bitch enough while bending over and taking it up the backside.
Real posts will begin to appear soon.
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