Saturday, August 25, 2007

Non-Bitching About My Cable Company Post

So I figured that while I have actual high speed Internet access at my disposal, I should post something other than me bitching about how shitty my shitty, shitty cable company is.

Okay, that’s sort of been dominating the landscape of my life lately, so bear with me.
On Wednesday I was supposed to go in to work for a training session. It was supposed to go until 4, which would be after the time that Scott and I usually meet at the comic shop.
I had IMed him (via dial-up) to let him know that call him if I got earlier than that, but he mentioned that there will be no money in his comic book budget until September, so he wouldn’t be going anyway.
I decided, then, that I would stop at the comic shop on my way in to the training. As I was getting ready to leave, the goober (seriously; he had a mouthful of “chaw,” and pronounced “activated” as “actimated”) cable tech arrived, and I didn’t want to leave while he was there, so I ended up missing out on the training (and the OT).
It was nearly 3 by the time he left, and as I prepared to leave for the comic shop, I remembered that I’m made of money (small amounts of money, but hey, pennies and nickels are still money), so I IMed Scott and told him that I’d spot him for this week (but not next week; I have a training again), and also pay for a late lunch/early dinner.
So after buying the comics we decided to try out the nearby Thai place. I’ve never really had Thai food before, so I figured now was as good a time as any to try it out.
Scott and I were both terribly amused by the names of some of the dishes, as they all tended to be alliterative and just generally seemed comic book-y.
There was one dish in particular, though, that literally had comic book written all over it:



I told Scott that if it were in a comic book, it would appear as huge, Walt Simonson-style onomatopoeia, much like what you see above.
Ultimately we had no choice but to order it. Scott went with the version made with chicken, I went with the beef. It was pretty damn good.
Apart from seeing Superbad, that was probably the highlight of my week.
At least until I got to work, where on Friday I went to the candy machine and had multiple good things happen:


  1. I found that the candy machine had been restocked, in particular with my new addiction (Hot Tamales Ice)
  2. I found that the candy machine was no longer stuck in “Coins Only” mode
  3. I got two for one, due to a quirk of the coil that holds items in place and rotates to release them


So I hit the candy machine trifecta. It’s probably rather sad and pathetic how much this all pleased me.
As I mentioned earlier, and like to mention frequently, I’m made of (very small amounts of) money, but, once the house is purchased, that will no longer the case, as I will be remade out of debt.
Very large amounts of debt.
So, operating on the principle of “spend it while you can,” I went online Thursday and ordered close to $150 worth of comics.
On Sunday I’d spent a significant amount of the day bagging up some of my comics, and making decisions as to which comics were worth keeping and which were destined to end up on the pile that’s going to the thrift store/in the garbage.
There were several that were in terrible shape that I wanted to replace, so I wrote their names and numbers down, and did the same for some comics I once owned but no longer have in my possession, for various reasons, and would like to own once more.
For example, I used to own every issue of John Byrne’s Next Men, from the special Zero issue through to the final issue, #30. However, I let a friend borrow them years ago, and after they were returned to me I found that 0, and 14-29 were missing, and my friend was never able to find them.
Those comics actually make up the bulk of the expense of what I ordered. Most of them were in the $2.50-$3.00 range, but for some crazy reason, #21 was $75! And that was the sale price. WTF?
(My best guess is because of the Mike Mignola cover and the guest appearance by Hellboy)
The cheapest copy, in Fair condition, was $30. Still too much.
I found another online comic shop selling it in Very Fine condition for $20, and went with that, though that site had a copy of it that was selling for $315.
Not sure why that issue is so special, as, in a post-collapse market, that’s very expensive for a relatively recent comic.
In addition to the comics – the receipt of which will be even more exciting than my candy machine trifecta – I bought a fancy black aluminum case for my phone. It was actually.
Earlier today, Brian IMed to inform me that there was a house on fire on the street where my soon-to-be new residence is located.
He and Kathleen seem to take a perverse delight in informing me that there have been a lot of fires on that street. During the home inspection, Kathleen kept commenting on different features of the place that would be a boon to firefighters should there ever be a fire.
I just don’t understand the point. There have been a lot of fires there. So? Am I supposed to not buy the place? A little late for that now.
You could just as easily point out that there have been a lot of fires in Leesburg, or in Virginia, or America.
Where in the world can I move where there’s no danger of fire?
As it stands, the place I’m buying has managed to remain unsinged for 41 years, despite the preponderance of fires in the neighborhood. Without trying to jinx myself, that seems like a pretty good record.
And it’s not like the place is littered with burned-out husks and the shattered dreams of the people who lost their homes. It looks very much like any other neighborhood.
Besides, that’s what fire insurance is for. I’ve lived through a fire. I don’t particularly want to do it again, but if I have to, I’ll manage. Nothing is irreplaceable (as can be demonstrated by the replacement comics I just bought), except for lives, and I’m not going to spend mine in fear of losing it, no matter how much they try to fuck with me.
(I will say that the more devilish part of me wants to set a bunch of fires in their neighborhood and then say, “Sure have been a lot of fires on your street.” Of course, now that I’ve said that, their neighborhood will probably get hit by an arsonist and I’ll get the blame. Oh well.)
In any case, that will do it for my non-bitching about my shitty, shitty cable company post.
Given that I have very little hope that my outage will get resolved before hitting week four, I probably won’t post again until I’m at work.

Coming Soon To A T-Shirt Near You


My DirecPath Customer Survey Responses

Property: Bellemeade Farms

Accessibility of Customer Service: Poor

Helpfulness of Customer Service: Poor

Service installed in a timely manner: No

Channel Selection: Poor

Reception Quality: Poor

Pricing Structure: Poor

Compared to Others: Worse

Is Digital Important: Yes

Is Internet important: Yes

Do you work from home: No

Overall Score: 1

Additional Comments: My Internet service went out on August 3. In the course of three weeks I've placed multiple calls and have been given a different story each time. On August 8 I stayed home all day waiting for a tech who never arrived. The next day I was informed that a tech had been out, but that he had not stopped by my residence. I was told that there was an outage at the complex due to a 'lack of bandwidth' and that this issue was being worked on. On August 17, one of the many times I called in, I was told that there had been no update since the 9th. The next time I called, I was told that there was no such outage. On August 22 another tech was sent out. This one actually came to my residence, but was unable to resolve the problem. Unable to figure out the problem, he concluded that I needed a new modem. Naturally, he did not have a replacement modem. Currently, a tech is supposed to come out again on August 27 with a modem. I sincerely doubt this will resolve the issue. I want you to know that you are the worst company it's ever been my misfortune to deal with. While this is the most extreme example of your terrible service, it's hardly the only example. I can't tell you how much I look forward to the day when I no longer have to deal with you.

Friday, August 24, 2007

A DirecPath To Lousy Service

Okay, so as I mentioned the other day, a tech from my cable company actually came out to my place on Wednesday.
Actually, he was a tech sub-contracted by the tech contracted by my cable company. The contracted tech was on vacation.
Upon arriving, the tech looked at the flashing Cable light on the modem, he said, “This is easy; somebody accidentally disconnected you.” I said that it might have been nice if someone had figured that out nineteen days sooner. Ignoring that, he headed out the door saying, “I’ll be right back.”
After a few minutes he came back and said, “Well that ain’t it.”
He then proceeded to spend about forty-five minutes going back and forth from my bedroom down to wherever everything is hooked up, moving me from one port to the next, and occasionally pinging someone on his Nextel.
After a while he began tinkering with the cable outlets themselves, at one pint, I noted, actually knocking out my TV service. He mentioned that I probably shouldn’t have been working in the first place, as the cable outlet was wired incorrectly.
Even after fixing the wiring, though, the Cable light continued its petulant flashing.
Eventually he said that, having eliminated all other possibilities, it seemed that the problem was with my modem.
Naturally he didn’t have a replacement modem with him, because why would he? I mean, it’s not like he’s a technician for a cable company or any– oh, right.
Still, he didn’t have one, and said that the very soonest I could get a new one would be Monday, and even that was iffy.
It was at that point that the cable tech became witness to a Jon Explosion, and actually flinched away from the stream of invectives that came bursting forth from me. He could do nothing but nod his head in startled, sympathetic agreement at words like “worst fucking company I’ve ever had the misfortune of dealing with” and “lying sons of bitches” and “absolute fucking morons.”
And so he left – having fixed whatever he’d done to the TV and checking to make sure it was working, without me having to tell him to do so, which surprised me – and telling me that the “Asian guy” who is actually contracted by DirecPath to service my complex would be back on Friday and that he would see if there was anything else that could be done from outside my place.
Friday – today – marks the three-week point from when, upon returning home from work, I discovered that my Cable light was flashing.
And that’s how things stand now: three weeks without Internet service. Three weeks full of lies, misdirection, and a complete and utter lack of commitment even to the notion of customer service.
But let’s go back to the beginning, back even before the beginning, so that this particular instance of lousy service can be put into its proper perspective.
When I first arrived in Virginia in 2002, I lived in Ashburn, where my cable service was provided by a company called Adelphia, a company that, I soon learned, was bankrupt.
Despite the bankruptcy, Adelphia provided service that, while not exactly exemplary, was pretty much on par with cable company standards. Further, while I had a few service interruptions over the course of three years, my Internet connection was fairly dependable, and during that time, without an attendant increase in cost, my downstream connection speeds went from an acceptable 1.5 Mbps to an excellent 3-4 Mbps.
In 2006 I bought a condo in Leesburg. It wasn’t until after I’d bought the place that I found out that I would not be getting my cable service from Adelphia, but rather from a company known as MediaWorks.
I’d never heard of MediaWorks, but soon learned that they were a small niche cable company that provided cable services to condo developments and apartment complexes. They had their own cable plant located on the grounds of the complex.
From the start I was less than thrilled. The TV service was poor, as several channels were duplicates of each other, others were mislabeled, and the volume levels varied widely. For example, in order to be able to hear the programming on Comedy Central, I have to turn the volume up to full blast. This can be a heart-stopping problem if I change the channel without first remembering to lower the volume.
Beyond that, they actually receive the programming that is distributed to us via a series of DirecTV and Dish Network satellite dishes, so when it rains the TV goes out. Basically, as MediaWorks customers we received the disadvantages of satellite TV without having access to any of the advantages, such as the on-screen guide, pay-per-view, etc.
What made it worse was that many of the channels would not return even after the rain stopped and everything was dry again. On more than one occasion I had to call in to complain about this in order to get the channels back.
Then there was the matter of my Internet service. While I was paying roughly the same as I’d been paying to Adelphia, with my 3-4 Mbps service, I was only getting a connection speed of about 1 Mbps. Still, it was better than nothing, and so lacking any other real options, decided to just grit my teeth and bear with it, hoping that either MediaWorks would improve their speeds over time – as Adelphia had – or that Verizon’s FiOS would become available.
After nearly a year of spotty TV service and Internet speeds that never got any faster, I was informed that MediaWorks was now DirecPath, the former having been acquired by the latter.
I had hoped that this would bode well and that some improvements would be made.
That hope died when my Internet speed dropped by more than 75%, from a paltry 1 Mbps to an excruciatingly slow 200 Kbps.
I waited it out to see if this was some sort of temporary issue, but after a month it was clear that it was a more permanent issue.
So I called in to complain.
“I have a problem with my Internet speed,” I said. This was greeted with what was clearly a knee-jerk, automatic response that had been drilled into MediaWorks’/DirecPath’s customer service reps: We only offer one megabit!
I sighed and said, “I understand, and at this point I would be happy to get a megabit, but I’m getting speeds that are more than four times lower than that.”
I was transferred to tech support, where I was once again informed, “We only offer one megabit!” I sighed again and explained the situation once more.
I was then told, in direct contradiction to the knee-jerk defense, “We only offer 256 K!”
“That’s impossible,” I said, pointing out that I’d been getting 1 Mbps for over a year.”
I was informed that there was no conceivable manner in which I could have been getting such speeds, and clearly I was either delusional or an outright liar.
Another person I spoke to said that the service they offered was “256 Kbps down, and 1 Mbs up.”
I said, “That’s absurd. No company in its right mind would offer Internet connectivity with that kind of setup.”
“Well, I’m just reading what it says.”
“Then you’re reading it wrong.”
Ultimately, though it was clear that they felt I was a lying troublemaker, or at least wanted me to feel that way about myself, it was agreed that a tech would come out to address the issue of my connection speed (in addition to fixing the three channels that hadn’t come back since the last time it had rained).
No such tech ever showed up, though the channels did get fixed.
I sent in multiple complaints via their online form, with the assurance that “someone” would be in touch with me within 48 hours.
That never happened.
Eventually I discovered that I would be moving within the next few months, so I decided that I would just grit my teeth and deal with the lousy service until it was time to leave.
Of course, it wasn’t until after August 3 that I discovered just how lousy the service could get.
As mentioned, when I got home my Cable light was flashing. I shrugged, figuring it was just an outage that would get resolved overnight or early the next day. At worst, it would be out until Monday.
On Monday I decided that I should call in, just to make sure that it wasn’t just me and that work was being done.
After jumping through various “tech support” hoops that included doing things that I’d already done and being accused of having made changes to my setup even though I’d explained that nothing had been changed by me since I’d set things up over a year and a half earlier, it was decided that I needed to have a tech sent out. The person I spoke to said she would e-mail dispatch and that dispatch would call me.
About a half an hour later I got the call. “Can you be home Wednesday from 8 AM to 6 PM?” A ten hour window? WTF?
I didn’t really want to have to stay home all day and I asked if they could narrow it down a little, like letting me know if it’d be in the morning or the afternoon. “No, it could be anytime within that period; we can’t really say when.”
I sighed and agreed that I would stay home all day, as the alternative – signing a key release – was even less palatable.
So I sat at home all day.
By 4 PM no one had arrived, so I called in and asked what the odds were that anyone would show up within the next two hours. I was assured that someone would.
At 7 PM I called in to report that the tech was a no-show and my Internet was still out. I was assured that maybe the tech had been delayed, but he would complete every job on his docket before calling it a day, and someone from dispatch would call me to give me his ETA.
Never happened.
Thursday I got home, hoping that maybe something had been done in the intervening 24 hours. The light was still flashing. I called in and was told that a tech had been at the property, even though he hadn’t actually stopped by my place. It was determined, I was told, that there was not enough available bandwidth to support the number of users in the complex, and that other people were affected, and that there was no ETR, but it was being worked on.
I gave it a couple of days and called in to check on the progress. No new information had been entered in the notes since the initial notes about bandwidth. The rep said she would e-mail dispatch and they would call me.
No call.
Called again, got the same story.
All along, by the way, at least after the second call, I was being assured that I would receive credit for the time I was without service. This was reported to me as if it were not something that should go without saying, and as if it should be enough to satisfy me and assuage any concerns I might have. “Oh, you mean I won’t have to pay for a service I’m not receiving? Consider me mollified! But wait, all things considered, I’d rather be paying for a service and actually receiving it.”
Finally, on the 18th day of my outage, my patience had reached its limit.
“My patience has reached its limit,” I said to the customer service rep.
It was at this point that I leaned that I’d been lied to: there was no widespread outage involving a lack of bandwidth, and no one was actually working to fix my problem.
And that was when another tech was scheduled to come out, with the instructions that he was not to leave until my problem was fixed.
Further, the rep was going to call me back on Thursday to verify that everything was working.
You know how things worked out with that tech, and it’s a good thing I didn’t hold my breath waiting for that call.
And that brings us up to date.
I have to say that, without question, the service I’ve received from MediaWorks/DirecPath is the absolute worst I’ve ever received.
The whole point of this entry is an attempt to mobilize a campaign of DirecPath victims customers who have fallen prey to this lousy service.
I know that several people have come to this blog and read my earlier posts on this topic (The search string leading them here? DirecPath Sucks.), and one of them has left a comment documenting yet another instance of DirecPath absolutely failing as a provider of quality cable services.
I would encourage others to share their experiences in the comments. You can do so anonymously, and while I recognize that the anti-spam word verification can be a bit of a pain, it shouldn’t be an insurmountable obstacle to you sharing your frustration with me and the others (and there must be a lot of others) who have suffered as a result of DirecPath’s “service.”
I’m fortunate enough that within a month I will be out from under DirecPath’s dead weight, but I still want to make sure that they’re taken to task for their non-existent commitment to providing quality service to their customers, to discourage any apartment complexes or condo developments who are thinking about signing a deal with DirecPath, and encouraging those that have signed up with them to reconsider. Every little piece of ammunition you can provide is greatly appreciated.
On a final note, in order to use their online payment services, I still have to use DirecPath’s legacy MediaWorks site.
If I go to the DirecPath site, there is a form into which you can enter your Zip code to find out if you are in a DirecPath residence. When I enter my Zip code it tells me “Sorry, your area is not currently being serviced by DIRECPATH.”
You can say that again.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The League of Extra-Hairy Gentlemen

Last night for the second time in as many weeks I had a dream in which Alan Moore (this time with special guest Neil Gaiman) made an appearance. I don't recall much about it, other than that Alan was extremely clever and I was jealous of his friendship with Neil. However, Alan did give me an extra-special copy of Watchmen that was in some indescribable way infinitely more fabulous than my mere Absolute Edition.
In the earlier dream, Alan appeared as someone providing me with guidance through a difficult and dangerous situation, and he had the ability to manipulate reality as easily as he constructs a story.
Sometime after that dream I had one in which a bearded hermit, looking rather like Will Ferrell as The Unabomber, played a central role.
Given that Alan himself looks rather a lot like someone who should live in a secluded shack and spend his time writing manifestos (which is, perhaps, not so different from how he does live), I have to wonder about the preponderance of hirsute men in my dreams of late.
In any case, on his blog, Neil linked to this scan of a two-page comic he and Mark Buckingham did in honor of Alan's 50th birthday.
(Readers of Fables will note the uncanny resemblance of the boy asking his fortune to Buckingham's version of Pinocchio)

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Anatomy Lesson



(And no, my Internet is not fixed yet; posted this via dial-up. I'll post more on the saga of my shitty cable company tomorrow when I'm at work)

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Hey Look! A Threshold Post!

No, don't get your hopes up - my cable Internet connection is still out (this day 18).
I called in yet again today, doing the whole "irate customer at the limit of his patience" thing and, while getting another line of BS, learned that I've been getting nothing but lines of BS every time I've called.
I was informed that, contrary to what I was told before, there is no widespread outage, and, because there's no outage, no one is actually working on fixing it.
*Sigh*
So, once again tommorow, two weeks since the last time, I have the 10 hour window during which a technician will supposedly be arriving.
This time I can't actually sit and wait for the tech to not arrive - I have a training thing for work in the afternoon - so I, reluctantly, signed a key release at the leasing office to let the tech come in. Given that I'm sure he won't actually be coming here, I doubt that it's really an issue, but I don't like the idea of a stranger coming into my home when I'm not here.
The person I talked to claimed that she's put a note in the ticket that the tech is "not to leave until the problem is fixed." I'm sure that will work wonders.
In any case, that's how things stand here.
Sunday night I went to see Superbad with Brian and Kathleen and some of their friends at that new theater where Scott and I saw Stardust.
Holy. Freaking. God.
Funniest damn movie I've seen in a long time.
The only downside? I've never felt more like a pedophile in my life, thanks not only to the hot young girls in the movie, but some of the preternaturally developed hot young girls at the movie (damn farmers injecting everything with growth hormones, which find their way into the systems of developing young people).
For the record, all of the girls in the movie, despite how young they looked (Imagine, a movie about teens that starred people who actually look like teens.), are over 18. In fact, the one who looked the youngest is actually 23.
So that makes it slightly better, though still somewhat unsettling.
As the movie was starting, Kathleen asked me if I've ever written or thought about writing a screenplay, as she could see me writing something similar to Superbad.
I told her that I've never tried writing one, but that I have considered it.
Of course, that's only lately, and what's been kicking around in my head is not a teen sex comedy, but rather a biopic.
It's not something I'm likely to do - beyond my usual laziness and lack of motivation is the fact that this particular project would require a lot of researche and travel and and interviewing people, as the most readily-accessible information isn't sufficient to tell the whole story.
Even so, I'm not going to say who would be the subject of the movie, because if I'm not going to do it I don't want anyone else doing it either.
And no, it's not Jack T. Chick.
Anyway, I think that'll do it for this dial-update.