This has been an exceedingly long day, one that started far too early (at around 3 AM when a noisy bit of A/C equipment outside one of the buildings started making some noise that indicates that it need some attention), and had been moving far too slowly.
So far I’ve read all of the comics I bought on Wednesday (only three of the comics I bought were actually new to me), and read all of the stuff I read in the newsgroups.
I even downloaded and watched another MST3K episode featuring an Ed Wood movie (The Sinister Urge – it was dreadful). I even followed an online Photoshop tutorial and made a stupid picture, which I sent to Brian just to make him laugh and tell me that I’m a retard.
Oh, and thanks to the organizational changes, I’m sitting at the desk all by myself.
It’s a very big desk to be sitting at alone (At one time there were six of us sitting here. I am now the cheese, though I sit alone, rather than stand.), and given that you’re sitting with your back to all the other desks, it makes you feel extremely isolated and vulnerable.
And there are people who don’t understand something about the concept of “It’s fucking Saturday, so leave me the fuck alone,” and so I’ve been periodically bothered by phone calls and IMs.
The most annoying thing, though, is that most of the calls aren’t for me, but rather for Scott and Simon, so I have to keep transferring calls in to where they’re sitting, which annoys me. If you’re going to separate us, give us separate numbers, or make some other arrangements with dealing for the fact that people are calling to talk to people who are not sitting where the phones are ringing.
*Sigh*
When I got up this morning – I just stayed up after the noise woke me, as I couldn’t get back to sleep – I looked in the mirror and saw that my hair was doing the whole Buster Poindexter thing that indicates that it’s time to get a haircut.
In fact, it’s been a little too shaggy for a while now. I’m surprised that Kathleen didn’t give me one of her less than subtle hints that I should get a haircut the last time I saw her.
I’ve got a feeling that if I keep writing this, it’s just going to be an endless screed about how bored I am, so I suppose I should spare you all and bring the entry to an end so that it doesn’t become as endless as this day.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Excellent Timing, Extra Expenses, Exceptionally Creepy, And I'm Out of Words That Start With Ex
I woke up a bit after 8 this morning, thinking that I should get up, as my Wednesdays are always abbreviated due to my ridiculously early bedtime.
Of course, I also thought, “Fuck that,” and managed to stay in bed until a bit before 9.
In an unusual bit of motivation, I made my way to the kitchen and began making some breakfast. I hadn’t eaten a proper meal yesterday, opting for a sandwich for lunch and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner, so hunger was the source of my motivation.
I had just finished making my bacon and eggs and was in the process of setting my plate down on the table when my phone rang.
It was my mother. I opted to eat the eggs, figuring I could do that quietly enough so that she wouldn’t have to listen to me chewing, but decided that the bacon was just going to have to wait.
After talking to my mother – and eating my bacon – I did the whole shower and shave thing, got dressed, and headed off to the comic shop.
I spent quite a bit there, as I picked up a copy of the trade collecting the first five issues of Jack of Fables, as well as a copy of the Fables: 1001 Nights of Snowfall hardcover.
Beyond that I also paid for Scott’s comics (though he will, of course, pay me back), which was pricier than normal, as he’s opted to begin collecting Jack of Fables and Buffy: Season Eight and had requested that I grab whatever back issues of those I could find there, so that added some extra comics, and I grabbed a copy of the Jack of Fables trade for him as well, as it only made sense.
From there it was off to Super Target where, based on the wary looks most of the women present were giving me and their general skittishness around me, I learned that I must have been looking especially creepy today. Not sure what made today so special. Maybe there’s just something inherently disturbing about a guy buying toilet paper and paper towels.
Anyway, that’s been my day so far. It’s not likely to get any more interesting.
I’ve often mentioned that there are certain movies that, when they’re on, I feel compelled to watch. One such movie is Tim Burton’s black and white cult classic Ed Wood, which was on IFC the other night, and which I watched.
(As an aside, people think that, because of my feelings about his Batman movies, I don’t like Tim Burton. It’s not true. With the exception of the aforementioned Batman movies and the complete waste of two hours of my life – time that I will never be able to recover – that was his Planet of the Apes remake, I’ve liked most of what I’ve seen.)
I really enjoy Ed Wood in large part because of the performances of Martin Landau and Johnny Depp, but also because the real Ed Wood was an utterly fascinating man in so many respects.
As terrible as his movies were, you just have to love the cockeyed optimism of the man, and his total commitment to bringing his singular vision to life. Sure, his movies sucked ass, but he put everything he had into making those shitty, shitty movies. Nothing could deter him from following his dreams.
His awful, tacky dreams.
How can you not admire someone like that?
In the Burton movie much time is spent focusing on the making of his movie Bride of the Monster (originally titled Bride of the Atom), and in reading the Wikipedia entry on Wood I learned that, unsurprisingly, Bride of the Monster had been featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
So naturally I hit the MST3K newsgroup and downloaded the episode.
It was kind of interesting to watch the movie after having seen the fictionalized version of its making so many times. Seeing an actual scene rather than Burton’s version of the scene often made it rather jarring, particularly if there was a big difference between the two, though conversely it was interesting to see the scenes that Burton had really nailed.
The casting difference were also kind of jarring. I was watching it and thinking, “But that’s not Juliet Landau playing the part of Loretta King playing the part of Janet Lawton, it’s actually Loretta King playing the part of Janet Lawton!” or “Hey, that’s not Sarah Jessica Parker.”
Knowing at least some of the backstory – or at least some version of it – surrounding the making of the movie also added to the experience.
And of course it all made the comments of Joel and the gang that much funnier.
Oh, and the movie itself? Absolutely terrible, but then, how could it be otherwise?
Of course, I also thought, “Fuck that,” and managed to stay in bed until a bit before 9.
In an unusual bit of motivation, I made my way to the kitchen and began making some breakfast. I hadn’t eaten a proper meal yesterday, opting for a sandwich for lunch and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner, so hunger was the source of my motivation.
I had just finished making my bacon and eggs and was in the process of setting my plate down on the table when my phone rang.
It was my mother. I opted to eat the eggs, figuring I could do that quietly enough so that she wouldn’t have to listen to me chewing, but decided that the bacon was just going to have to wait.
After talking to my mother – and eating my bacon – I did the whole shower and shave thing, got dressed, and headed off to the comic shop.
I spent quite a bit there, as I picked up a copy of the trade collecting the first five issues of Jack of Fables, as well as a copy of the Fables: 1001 Nights of Snowfall hardcover.
Beyond that I also paid for Scott’s comics (though he will, of course, pay me back), which was pricier than normal, as he’s opted to begin collecting Jack of Fables and Buffy: Season Eight and had requested that I grab whatever back issues of those I could find there, so that added some extra comics, and I grabbed a copy of the Jack of Fables trade for him as well, as it only made sense.
From there it was off to Super Target where, based on the wary looks most of the women present were giving me and their general skittishness around me, I learned that I must have been looking especially creepy today. Not sure what made today so special. Maybe there’s just something inherently disturbing about a guy buying toilet paper and paper towels.
Anyway, that’s been my day so far. It’s not likely to get any more interesting.
I’ve often mentioned that there are certain movies that, when they’re on, I feel compelled to watch. One such movie is Tim Burton’s black and white cult classic Ed Wood, which was on IFC the other night, and which I watched.
(As an aside, people think that, because of my feelings about his Batman movies, I don’t like Tim Burton. It’s not true. With the exception of the aforementioned Batman movies and the complete waste of two hours of my life – time that I will never be able to recover – that was his Planet of the Apes remake, I’ve liked most of what I’ve seen.)
I really enjoy Ed Wood in large part because of the performances of Martin Landau and Johnny Depp, but also because the real Ed Wood was an utterly fascinating man in so many respects.
As terrible as his movies were, you just have to love the cockeyed optimism of the man, and his total commitment to bringing his singular vision to life. Sure, his movies sucked ass, but he put everything he had into making those shitty, shitty movies. Nothing could deter him from following his dreams.
His awful, tacky dreams.
How can you not admire someone like that?
In the Burton movie much time is spent focusing on the making of his movie Bride of the Monster (originally titled Bride of the Atom), and in reading the Wikipedia entry on Wood I learned that, unsurprisingly, Bride of the Monster had been featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
So naturally I hit the MST3K newsgroup and downloaded the episode.
It was kind of interesting to watch the movie after having seen the fictionalized version of its making so many times. Seeing an actual scene rather than Burton’s version of the scene often made it rather jarring, particularly if there was a big difference between the two, though conversely it was interesting to see the scenes that Burton had really nailed.
The casting difference were also kind of jarring. I was watching it and thinking, “But that’s not Juliet Landau playing the part of Loretta King playing the part of Janet Lawton, it’s actually Loretta King playing the part of Janet Lawton!” or “Hey, that’s not Sarah Jessica Parker.”
Knowing at least some of the backstory – or at least some version of it – surrounding the making of the movie also added to the experience.
And of course it all made the comments of Joel and the gang that much funnier.
Oh, and the movie itself? Absolutely terrible, but then, how could it be otherwise?
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
What IS The Real Deal?
A while ago I started watching Flip This House on A&E.
The show focuses on realtors who buy houses, fix them up, and then sell them at a profit, all in a very short span of time.
At the time I started watching, there were three different teams that the show alternated between.
(TLC airs a similar show called Flip That House, which I also watch, though they don’t limit themselves to such a small pool of flippers.)
I soon learned that I didn’t care for two out of the three teams focused on, and started limiting myself to watching the episodes focusing on the Trademark team out of South Carolina.
Somewhere along the line I learned that this team was from the first season and were involved in a lawsuit against A&E. Apparently, they had pitched the show to A&E in the first place, but then were dumped without warning after the first season.
I’m not up on – or terribly interested in – the lawsuit, so I don’t know how that turned out, but I do know that they pitched a new show to TLC, which has been airing for the past few weeks. The new show is called The Real Deal, and basically follows the same format as Flip This House.
Now, the primary reason I watched the old show and now watch the current show is Trademark Investment Coordinator Ginger Alexander.
Is it because she’s hot? Not exactly.
In fact, I can’t tell you what it is about Ginger that I find so fascinating.
Sure, she’s reasonably attractive, has a decent rack, and often wears some really killer shoes (which the camera often focuses on), but she’s also kind of irritating in a lot of ways, what with the stupid little dog she’s always carrying around with her and that thick accent, and various other little personality quirks that just sort of bother me.
Somehow, though, in some perverse way, the things about her that irritate me actually make her seem more attractive somehow, and I find myself powerless to look away (particularly during some of the good cleavage shots).
Evidently I’m not alone in this, though, as Ginger is one of the primary points of focus on the show, with Trademark founder and owner Richard Davis being the other point of focus.
That I could do without.
In any case, I thought I’d share with you an example of a typical episode of their new show (which, as mentioned, is largely interchangeable with their old show).
One thing I have noticed about the new show, though, is that the focus seems to be on them doing some kind of “good” in the process of flipping a home. There’s always some sort of philanthropic element involved in every deal, or at least some sort of heartwarming aspect.
For example, on the last episode they renovated the concession stand by the football field at the local high school just in time for the first game of the seaon.
Anyway, here’s a typical episode.
Opening Title Sequence
This is ridiculously long and consists of Richard, who clearly loves the sound of his own voice, yammering on endlessly about who he is, what he does, how he does it, his philosophy on business, real estate, life, and sports. Note that sports is central to everything he says and does, and that pretty much everything he says is some sort of sports metaphor.
The Set Up
The team has a new project. They’ve set a ridiculously short deadline for themselves and a too-conservative budget. This will, of course, create drama.
One particular member of the team is going to be in charge of this project. He or she will be given the ball and will have to run with it with little or no help from Richard. This is his or her one chance to prove him or herself to Richard.
More often than not this team member is Ginger. She has, apparently, been getting her “one chance” to prove herself to Richard on a regular basis since the first show started back in 2004, and possibly longer than that.
The Drama (Part 1)
The team purchased the property sight unseen. Upon investigating it – generally they have to break in – they discover that they seriously underestimated the amount of time and money it will take to finish this project.
The Drama (Part 2)
Richard shows up on-site and totally undercuts the authority of, in this case, as in most others, Ginger, by vetoing some decision she had made.
Ginger fights to get her way, but will most likely defer to Richard, though she will feel that her “one chance” is being taken away from her.
The Drama (Part 1) Continued
Supplies/workers are not arriving on time. Nothing is going according to plan. The project is in danger of not being ready in time for the open house. Oh, and they didn’t bother getting any permits to do the work. Whoops!
The Conclusion
By pulling together like some sort of sporting team, they pull off a miracle and have the project ready in the nick of time. The paint is likely still wet as people walk through on the day of the open house.
And that’s pretty much how it plays out every time.
Of course, throughout it all there are some standard scenes, such as Richard spouting some sports metaphor, or talking about being a coach and equating that to running a business, and there will probably be a lot of shots of him hanging out at his kid’s baseball game, or just randomly watching kids playing basketball in a playground, or watching boys changing in a locker room – okay his obsession with watching kids play sports isn’t quite that creepy, but he really does spend a lot of time surrounding himself with sweaty young boys.
I’m just saying. An interest in sports makes for a good cover.
We’ll leave it at that.
Besides talking about sports, Richard likes to talk about himself – usually in relation to sports – and about how great he is. He also likes to talk about how humble he is.
He also makes a lot of disparaging remarks about southerners and rednecks, but does so as sort of a point of pride. Or rather, prahd.
We also get a lot of shots of Ginger’s patent leather stiletto pumps, which aren’t really ideal footwear for most job sites.
In addition to always having a Coke in her hand, Ginger always has her dog Jack with her, and we’re always treated to the camera zooming in on him running around, because everyone needs to see some stupid dog sniffing at things.
Oh, whosa good doggie? Yousa good doggie! Yes you is! Yousa good doggie! Looka the good lil puppy! Looka the good lil puppy! Yousa good lil puppy!
Every time this happens my immediate first thought is that this isn’t fucking Animal Planet. Enough with the dog already. Give us some shots of Ginger’s boobs, or at least, you know, some shots of the actual work that’s being done or something.
(The focus on the dog thing is a staple of every house flipping show I’ve ever seen. If there’s a dog, there are gratuitous fan service style zoom ins on the dog. I know, I know, I’m an evil heartless bastard because I don’t want to look at the cute little doggies.)
And as often as we hear Richard spout a sports metaphor, we hear Ginger say, “This is mah one chance to prove mahself to Richard. Ah don’t wanna let him down.”
It would be rampant, irresponsible speculation on my part to suggest that there’s something going on between Richard and Ginger and that she’s waiting for him to leave his family and is transferring all of her maternal instincts onto Jack because Richard isn’t free to give her the babies that her uterus is crying on for, and that she shows up at job sites wearing fuck me heels in front of a bunch of horny young guys in an effort to make Richard jealous, so I won’t suggest that.
Some other staples of the show are the fact that at no time does anyone ever answer a phone call.
And everyone is always late. And not just a little bit late, either.
You’ll get a scene with Ginger driving along, with Jack hanging out the window – Whosa good lil puppy? Yousa good lil puppy! – ahem, excuse me, and saying to the camera, “Ah was s’posed to meet Richard at 9 AM. Ah’m just now on mah way ta meet him. It’s 4:30 PM.”
And that’s my examination of The Real Deal and the Trademark team (Teamwork is their Trademark. Clever, no?).
Despite the fact that it generally follows the same pattern week after week, I do find the show entertaining, and of course I am not seriously suggesting that Richard has any sort of inappropriate interest in sweaty young boys. I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice guy, and that he would be the first to tell you so.
Any and all fun I poke at the members of the Trademark, no matter how mean it seems, team is done affectionately.
In any case, there’s not much else going on in terms of my life, so I suppose that I’ll bring this entry to a close.
The show focuses on realtors who buy houses, fix them up, and then sell them at a profit, all in a very short span of time.
At the time I started watching, there were three different teams that the show alternated between.
(TLC airs a similar show called Flip That House, which I also watch, though they don’t limit themselves to such a small pool of flippers.)
I soon learned that I didn’t care for two out of the three teams focused on, and started limiting myself to watching the episodes focusing on the Trademark team out of South Carolina.
Somewhere along the line I learned that this team was from the first season and were involved in a lawsuit against A&E. Apparently, they had pitched the show to A&E in the first place, but then were dumped without warning after the first season.
I’m not up on – or terribly interested in – the lawsuit, so I don’t know how that turned out, but I do know that they pitched a new show to TLC, which has been airing for the past few weeks. The new show is called The Real Deal, and basically follows the same format as Flip This House.
Now, the primary reason I watched the old show and now watch the current show is Trademark Investment Coordinator Ginger Alexander.
Is it because she’s hot? Not exactly.
In fact, I can’t tell you what it is about Ginger that I find so fascinating.
Sure, she’s reasonably attractive, has a decent rack, and often wears some really killer shoes (which the camera often focuses on), but she’s also kind of irritating in a lot of ways, what with the stupid little dog she’s always carrying around with her and that thick accent, and various other little personality quirks that just sort of bother me.
Somehow, though, in some perverse way, the things about her that irritate me actually make her seem more attractive somehow, and I find myself powerless to look away (particularly during some of the good cleavage shots).
Evidently I’m not alone in this, though, as Ginger is one of the primary points of focus on the show, with Trademark founder and owner Richard Davis being the other point of focus.
That I could do without.
In any case, I thought I’d share with you an example of a typical episode of their new show (which, as mentioned, is largely interchangeable with their old show).
One thing I have noticed about the new show, though, is that the focus seems to be on them doing some kind of “good” in the process of flipping a home. There’s always some sort of philanthropic element involved in every deal, or at least some sort of heartwarming aspect.
For example, on the last episode they renovated the concession stand by the football field at the local high school just in time for the first game of the seaon.
Anyway, here’s a typical episode.
Opening Title Sequence
This is ridiculously long and consists of Richard, who clearly loves the sound of his own voice, yammering on endlessly about who he is, what he does, how he does it, his philosophy on business, real estate, life, and sports. Note that sports is central to everything he says and does, and that pretty much everything he says is some sort of sports metaphor.
The Set Up
The team has a new project. They’ve set a ridiculously short deadline for themselves and a too-conservative budget. This will, of course, create drama.
One particular member of the team is going to be in charge of this project. He or she will be given the ball and will have to run with it with little or no help from Richard. This is his or her one chance to prove him or herself to Richard.
More often than not this team member is Ginger. She has, apparently, been getting her “one chance” to prove herself to Richard on a regular basis since the first show started back in 2004, and possibly longer than that.
The Drama (Part 1)
The team purchased the property sight unseen. Upon investigating it – generally they have to break in – they discover that they seriously underestimated the amount of time and money it will take to finish this project.
The Drama (Part 2)
Richard shows up on-site and totally undercuts the authority of, in this case, as in most others, Ginger, by vetoing some decision she had made.
Ginger fights to get her way, but will most likely defer to Richard, though she will feel that her “one chance” is being taken away from her.
The Drama (Part 1) Continued
Supplies/workers are not arriving on time. Nothing is going according to plan. The project is in danger of not being ready in time for the open house. Oh, and they didn’t bother getting any permits to do the work. Whoops!
The Conclusion
By pulling together like some sort of sporting team, they pull off a miracle and have the project ready in the nick of time. The paint is likely still wet as people walk through on the day of the open house.
And that’s pretty much how it plays out every time.
Of course, throughout it all there are some standard scenes, such as Richard spouting some sports metaphor, or talking about being a coach and equating that to running a business, and there will probably be a lot of shots of him hanging out at his kid’s baseball game, or just randomly watching kids playing basketball in a playground, or watching boys changing in a locker room – okay his obsession with watching kids play sports isn’t quite that creepy, but he really does spend a lot of time surrounding himself with sweaty young boys.
I’m just saying. An interest in sports makes for a good cover.
We’ll leave it at that.
Besides talking about sports, Richard likes to talk about himself – usually in relation to sports – and about how great he is. He also likes to talk about how humble he is.
He also makes a lot of disparaging remarks about southerners and rednecks, but does so as sort of a point of pride. Or rather, prahd.
We also get a lot of shots of Ginger’s patent leather stiletto pumps, which aren’t really ideal footwear for most job sites.
In addition to always having a Coke in her hand, Ginger always has her dog Jack with her, and we’re always treated to the camera zooming in on him running around, because everyone needs to see some stupid dog sniffing at things.
Oh, whosa good doggie? Yousa good doggie! Yes you is! Yousa good doggie! Looka the good lil puppy! Looka the good lil puppy! Yousa good lil puppy!
Every time this happens my immediate first thought is that this isn’t fucking Animal Planet. Enough with the dog already. Give us some shots of Ginger’s boobs, or at least, you know, some shots of the actual work that’s being done or something.
(The focus on the dog thing is a staple of every house flipping show I’ve ever seen. If there’s a dog, there are gratuitous fan service style zoom ins on the dog. I know, I know, I’m an evil heartless bastard because I don’t want to look at the cute little doggies.)
And as often as we hear Richard spout a sports metaphor, we hear Ginger say, “This is mah one chance to prove mahself to Richard. Ah don’t wanna let him down.”
It would be rampant, irresponsible speculation on my part to suggest that there’s something going on between Richard and Ginger and that she’s waiting for him to leave his family and is transferring all of her maternal instincts onto Jack because Richard isn’t free to give her the babies that her uterus is crying on for, and that she shows up at job sites wearing fuck me heels in front of a bunch of horny young guys in an effort to make Richard jealous, so I won’t suggest that.
Some other staples of the show are the fact that at no time does anyone ever answer a phone call.
And everyone is always late. And not just a little bit late, either.
You’ll get a scene with Ginger driving along, with Jack hanging out the window – Whosa good lil puppy? Yousa good lil puppy! – ahem, excuse me, and saying to the camera, “Ah was s’posed to meet Richard at 9 AM. Ah’m just now on mah way ta meet him. It’s 4:30 PM.”
And that’s my examination of The Real Deal and the Trademark team (Teamwork is their Trademark. Clever, no?).
Despite the fact that it generally follows the same pattern week after week, I do find the show entertaining, and of course I am not seriously suggesting that Richard has any sort of inappropriate interest in sweaty young boys. I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice guy, and that he would be the first to tell you so.
Any and all fun I poke at the members of the Trademark, no matter how mean it seems, team is done affectionately.
In any case, there’s not much else going on in terms of my life, so I suppose that I’ll bring this entry to a close.
Monday, May 21, 2007
It Still Beats Being Matter Eater Lad
In the Legion of Super Heroes comics of years past there would regularly be an issue in which super-powered teens from all over the galaxy would come to try out for membership in the Legion, demonstrating the effectiveness – or ineffectiveness – of their powers in the hopes that the Legion would see them as an asset.
Sort of like American Idol for super heroes, and, just like Idol, the majority of people trying out for the Legion ended up embarrassing themselves, demonstrating some of the lamest, most useless powers ever seen, such as Arm Fall Off Boy, whose power was that he could make his left arm fall off at will, and then use it as a club.
I’m not kidding.
And there was the Polecat, whose power was to stink (in more ways than one).
Of course, not all rejected heroes had lame powers. Some had control issues, like Polar Boy, who could generate extreme cold, which could be a genuinely useful power, but who lacked precision in its application.
Others had limitations, like Night Lass, who had superhuman strength, but only at night.
Still others had abilities that were already possessed by existing Legion members. This was a problem, as one requirement for membership was that you must have a unique power that no other Legionnaire possesses.
Eventually several of these Legion rejects got together and formed their own team. Dubbing themselves The Legion of Substitute Heroes, they made themselves available whenever the regular Legion was otherwise occupied or was somehow incapacitated.
The were also available for birthdays, graduations, and bar mitzvahs.
So yeah, if you had an emergency situation, but didn’t really need the best of the best, or the best of the second-best, or even the best of the worst, you could always put out the call for the Legion of Substitute Heroes.
What’s the point of all this silly comics nostalgia?
Well, today we had a meeting at work which outlined the new structure of job responsibilities and the new teams handling these responsibilities.
I learned that I’m on the team that pretty much equates to the Legion of Substitute Heroes.
I’m not clear on all of the details yet, but it looks as though I’ll be doing some of the same things I’ve been doing all along, though it’s entirely possible that a big chunk of job responsibility is actually missing and no longer being handled by anyone, as there seemed to be no mention of it being handled by anyone, and many of the other job responsibilities appear to be doing some of the shitty jobs that none of the other groups want to do, which is nothing new, really.
But apart from the job itself, it was more a matter of looking at the names of the other benchwarmers who are going to be on the team with me that made me feel like a Legion reject.
I think my super hero name should be something like Shows Up For Work Boy.
Oh well. It’s a paycheck, and it’s the same shift.
I suppose I should start seriously looking for something else, but it’s hard to muster up the motivation to do that when I know it’ll mean going to a five day work week. The thought is just too horrible to consider.
Sort of like American Idol for super heroes, and, just like Idol, the majority of people trying out for the Legion ended up embarrassing themselves, demonstrating some of the lamest, most useless powers ever seen, such as Arm Fall Off Boy, whose power was that he could make his left arm fall off at will, and then use it as a club.
I’m not kidding.
And there was the Polecat, whose power was to stink (in more ways than one).
Of course, not all rejected heroes had lame powers. Some had control issues, like Polar Boy, who could generate extreme cold, which could be a genuinely useful power, but who lacked precision in its application.
Others had limitations, like Night Lass, who had superhuman strength, but only at night.
Still others had abilities that were already possessed by existing Legion members. This was a problem, as one requirement for membership was that you must have a unique power that no other Legionnaire possesses.
Eventually several of these Legion rejects got together and formed their own team. Dubbing themselves The Legion of Substitute Heroes, they made themselves available whenever the regular Legion was otherwise occupied or was somehow incapacitated.
The were also available for birthdays, graduations, and bar mitzvahs.
So yeah, if you had an emergency situation, but didn’t really need the best of the best, or the best of the second-best, or even the best of the worst, you could always put out the call for the Legion of Substitute Heroes.
What’s the point of all this silly comics nostalgia?
Well, today we had a meeting at work which outlined the new structure of job responsibilities and the new teams handling these responsibilities.
I learned that I’m on the team that pretty much equates to the Legion of Substitute Heroes.
I’m not clear on all of the details yet, but it looks as though I’ll be doing some of the same things I’ve been doing all along, though it’s entirely possible that a big chunk of job responsibility is actually missing and no longer being handled by anyone, as there seemed to be no mention of it being handled by anyone, and many of the other job responsibilities appear to be doing some of the shitty jobs that none of the other groups want to do, which is nothing new, really.
But apart from the job itself, it was more a matter of looking at the names of the other benchwarmers who are going to be on the team with me that made me feel like a Legion reject.
I think my super hero name should be something like Shows Up For Work Boy.
Oh well. It’s a paycheck, and it’s the same shift.
I suppose I should start seriously looking for something else, but it’s hard to muster up the motivation to do that when I know it’ll mean going to a five day work week. The thought is just too horrible to consider.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Linkapalooza
Oh look, nerd boy added some new nerd links over on the right.
I'm not going to spell them out for you; you can look at the links your damn self.
I will say that while they're all comics-related, Polite Dissent does also cover some non-comics-related stuff, though I find the comics-related stuff most interesting. Go figure.
I'm not going to spell them out for you; you can look at the links your damn self.
I will say that while they're all comics-related, Polite Dissent does also cover some non-comics-related stuff, though I find the comics-related stuff most interesting. Go figure.
Early To Bed And Early To Rise Makes A Man...Well, Ben Franklin Wasn't ALWAYS Right
I ended up having a late night last night, as a bit before I was about to go to bed I discovered that IFC was airing the bizarre movie Bubba Ho-tep, an odd little B quality movie about a ramshackle nursing home in a small town in Texas that was the unsuspecting home to a still-living Elvis Presley (played by current TV commercial superstar Bruce Campbell), and the equally alive President John F. Kennedy, who, as part of the vast JFK conspiracy, had not been killed, but rather had his brain transplanted into the body of a black man (Ossie Davis).
The two geriatric and presumed-dead luminaries team up to save their fellow nursing home residents from an ancient Egyptian mummy accidentally loosed on the sleepy town years earlier who was feasting nightly on their souls (which he was sucking out through a particular bodily orifice).
As I said, it was bizarre, but it was also oddly compelling, and so I sat up and watched it to the end.
Despite the late night, I woke up at the usual time this morning, but was pretty tired, so, after doing a lot of nothing in particular following a phone call from my mother, I took a nap, despite the best efforts of that stupid new dog downstairs to keep me awake.
(I haven’t heard much from stupid old dog upstairs. Either he’s never being left alone, or he’s dead. I don’t really care as long as the barking and whining have stopped, though with what I’ve put up with since I’ve moved in here, I must admit that I’d be a little happier with the latter. Not that it matters, since stupid new dog is just as annoying and is filling in the annoyance void left by stupid old dog upstairs.)
As of this past Thursday, The Office is done until next season. As I’d been having trouble sleeping on Thursdays anyway, earlier this year I’d opted to stop recording it (and My Name is Earl), and simply stay up to watch it.
Now that the season is done, I can’t help but wonder what I’ll do with that time.
Try to go back to my ridiculously early bedtime? Maybe, but that didn’t work before, and probably won’t work now.
Watch more porn? Meh.
Get into watching midget porn? Hmm…nah.
Write Thursday evening Threshold entries? Pfft, dream on, losers.
Get hooked on a summer reality series and maybe find out just who can dance? What am I, a retard?
In any case, you now begin to see why it is that I have such a ridiculously early bedtime in the first place.
I mean, I have to get up early in the morning the next day, there’s not enough time to accomplish anything worthwhile and still get to bed at a decent, less ridiculously early hour, so why not just call it a night?
Sure, I could stay up later and function on less sleep the next day, but why bother? Why settle for 7 or 8 hours of sleep when I can get 9 and a half?
As many people who have worked the shift can attest, it’s not easy sitting at that desk all day long and staying awake even when you’ve gotten enough sleep, so why make things worse when there’s no good reason to?
Throughout the years there have been people who seemed to be personally offended by how early I go to bed on work nights.
“What?! No, no, no, no! That’s too early! How dare you!”
It’s not like I’m telling them that they need to go to bed that early. Stay up as late as you want. What the fuck do I care?
But even the assumption that I’m advocating – or demanding – that people go to bed at a ridiculously early hour isn’t what really seems to bother them; it’s the simple fact that I go to bed so early that bothers them.
Why? I have no idea. It’s as though they feel I have a responsibility to stay up as late as possible, as if I owe it to…someone. America? Jesus? That little boy dying of cancer in the hospital whose sincerest wish is that I would stay up until at least 10 PM on work nights?
I’m not sure who it is I’m letting down, but I will continue to unrepentantly strive to get plenty of sleep on work nights, and not care who I’m letting down, or how much it makes me seem like senior citizen.
But if it’s any consolation, I don’t get much sleep on my days off.
That should count for something.
In any case, it’s taken me like 8 hours to finish writing this, so I suppose I might as well post it.
The two geriatric and presumed-dead luminaries team up to save their fellow nursing home residents from an ancient Egyptian mummy accidentally loosed on the sleepy town years earlier who was feasting nightly on their souls (which he was sucking out through a particular bodily orifice).
As I said, it was bizarre, but it was also oddly compelling, and so I sat up and watched it to the end.
Despite the late night, I woke up at the usual time this morning, but was pretty tired, so, after doing a lot of nothing in particular following a phone call from my mother, I took a nap, despite the best efforts of that stupid new dog downstairs to keep me awake.
(I haven’t heard much from stupid old dog upstairs. Either he’s never being left alone, or he’s dead. I don’t really care as long as the barking and whining have stopped, though with what I’ve put up with since I’ve moved in here, I must admit that I’d be a little happier with the latter. Not that it matters, since stupid new dog is just as annoying and is filling in the annoyance void left by stupid old dog upstairs.)
As of this past Thursday, The Office is done until next season. As I’d been having trouble sleeping on Thursdays anyway, earlier this year I’d opted to stop recording it (and My Name is Earl), and simply stay up to watch it.
Now that the season is done, I can’t help but wonder what I’ll do with that time.
Try to go back to my ridiculously early bedtime? Maybe, but that didn’t work before, and probably won’t work now.
Watch more porn? Meh.
Get into watching midget porn? Hmm…nah.
Write Thursday evening Threshold entries? Pfft, dream on, losers.
Get hooked on a summer reality series and maybe find out just who can dance? What am I, a retard?
In any case, you now begin to see why it is that I have such a ridiculously early bedtime in the first place.
I mean, I have to get up early in the morning the next day, there’s not enough time to accomplish anything worthwhile and still get to bed at a decent, less ridiculously early hour, so why not just call it a night?
Sure, I could stay up later and function on less sleep the next day, but why bother? Why settle for 7 or 8 hours of sleep when I can get 9 and a half?
As many people who have worked the shift can attest, it’s not easy sitting at that desk all day long and staying awake even when you’ve gotten enough sleep, so why make things worse when there’s no good reason to?
Throughout the years there have been people who seemed to be personally offended by how early I go to bed on work nights.
“What?! No, no, no, no! That’s too early! How dare you!”
It’s not like I’m telling them that they need to go to bed that early. Stay up as late as you want. What the fuck do I care?
But even the assumption that I’m advocating – or demanding – that people go to bed at a ridiculously early hour isn’t what really seems to bother them; it’s the simple fact that I go to bed so early that bothers them.
Why? I have no idea. It’s as though they feel I have a responsibility to stay up as late as possible, as if I owe it to…someone. America? Jesus? That little boy dying of cancer in the hospital whose sincerest wish is that I would stay up until at least 10 PM on work nights?
I’m not sure who it is I’m letting down, but I will continue to unrepentantly strive to get plenty of sleep on work nights, and not care who I’m letting down, or how much it makes me seem like senior citizen.
But if it’s any consolation, I don’t get much sleep on my days off.
That should count for something.
In any case, it’s taken me like 8 hours to finish writing this, so I suppose I might as well post it.
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