Saturday, March 25, 2006

Clarification

Years ago, MAD TV used to have a segment in which they would clear up some "confusion" that people might have in distinguishing cast member Will Sasso - at the time a large, heavyset man (he's since lost a lot of weight) - from various other celebrities.
It would typically go something like this:

Jennifer Love Hewitt appears on-screen and says, "Okay, this is the last time."
She indicates herself and says, "Jennifer Love Hewitt."
The screen changes and we see Will while JLH says, "Will Sasso."
Toggle back to JLH, "Jennifer Love Hewitt."
Back to Will, "Will Sasso."
We then conclude with, "I hope that clears things up."

The gag works better with visuals, but along a similar vein Scott and I were talking about my recent entry about Torta di Pasta and he said, "Not to be confused with Portia di Rossi," and suggested that I post something to make that distinction.
So, in that spirit, here we go:



Portia di Rossi...no, wait! I mean, Torta di Pasta ("Ozzy Salute" not included)




Portia di Rossi ("Aussie Salute" may be included)


To help clear things up even further, think of it this way:
Torta di Pasta is an Italian dish often eaten by Jon.
Portia di Rossi is an Australian "dish" often eaten by Ellen DeGeneres. (Ba-dum-tssh!)
But seriously folks...

When Scott suggested the idea I thought about taking it further and doing a sort of compare and contrast entry that demonstrates the differences between myself and Ellen, but upon reflection I discovered that, the Torta/Portia issue aside, there are no differences. We're practically twins.
Think about it. We're both into women, neither of us has managed to have an overwhelmingly successful sit-com or develop much of a movie career, neither of us wears skirts, and our daytime talk shows are both smash hits (Mine airs right after Tyra in most markets. Check your local listings.)
I'm actually writing this entry from the comfort of my own home, as our new boss seems to like to let someone go home early on slow days. Today was my day (Scott went home yesterday). If Kathleen weren't out of town I would have suggested that Brian be the one to leave early (though if he had spoken up and said that he wanted to go I probably wouldn't have argued), but, as it's been a long week for me, I decided to speak up and say that I wanted to be the one.
Not that I had anything to do with the extra time, though I did use it to write up this and watch some of the shows I recorded over the past couple of nights.
In any case, I hope we're clear on the Torta/Portia thing.

The Long Slow Saturday

As has been noted previously, my Introduction to Linux class was pretty boring.
After all, it says a lot about just how boring the class was that I found it preferable to leave early and go in to work.
The biggest problem with the class? We never actually used Linux. Not once.
Even though Red Hat was installed on all of the workstations, we actually booted into Windows and used a terminal program to SSH into a Unix box.
(If you’re confused by any of this, don’t worry: it won’t be on the test)
Still, the point was to teach the fundamentals, which I guess it did, though how well I’ll remember them is debatable.
In fact, I found myself disturbed by the fact that I seemed incapable of paying attention in the class, which was kind of disturbing.
After all, my inability to focus was severely impacting my ability to learn anything.
So I was concerned, as in earlier years I was always a decent student and could learn things with a bar minimum of effort. So what had changed? Had I suddenly developed ADD? Is it a side effect of years of hard drinking?
Upon reflection, though, I realized that, in terms of my ability to focus, nothing had changed. When I was in high school and college I never paid attention either, it was just that I had a much greater ability to divide my focus.
It’s actually my ability to multi-task that has degraded. In high school, for example, I was able to sit in a class and doodle pictures of fellow student Jennifer Simpson’s legs, pass notes back and forth with my friend Joel, think about nailing the hot student teacher, nailing my girlfriend, nailing my girlfriend and the hot student teacher, and nailing my girlfriend, the hot student teacher, and special guest Jennifer Simpson, and still manage to absorb enough of the lecture to ace the test.
My college experience was largely the same (minus Joel and with various other contemporary women filling in for all of the imaginary nailing).
However, in the Linux class I found myself sitting there thinking about nailing Liz Phair and failing to learn anything about the effective use of the vi editor.
(Alternatively, I thought about nailing the semi-attractive blonde chick in the class, but it was mostly Liz)
So really it’s not that I’ve lost my ability to pay attention; I’ve lost my ability to not need to pay attention.
In fairness, it has been over a decade since I was last in an academic setting and had to call on this ability on a regular basis, so it’s possible that I could regain it with practice, though it’s equally possible that I’ve simply reached the “old dog” stage and find it difficult to learn new tricks.
One of the things about the class was that when it came time to do the exercises he encouraged us to “cheat,” which is to say we were encouraged to collaborate with each other.
He was one of those kinds of instructors who tries to force a class to be interactive and complains about the lack of vocal participation.
In any case, I took the command to cheat to heart and would wait until one of the other students completed an exercise and then cd into his or her directory and copy the finished file into my directory.
Sure, maybe I wasn’t really adhering to the spirit of his directive, but if he’d known, I would like to think that I’d have gotten points for my inventiveness.
It’s not like we were being graded, or even as if he was checking to make she we completed the exercises, so it can’t really be considered cheating, and I did put forth some effort into figuring out how to right the particular script before giving up and seeing how other people – people with temperaments more suited to coding than mine – had answered the challenge posed by the exercise.
Ah well, it’s all over now, though more Linux training lies ahead of me, but not any time real soon.
My commute to and from work has been getting increasingly irritating as of late.
The worst traffic I face is on Friday nights on my way home, which is why I take the Greenway, a privately-owned toll road.
The Greenway has two advantages over my usual route: the speed limit is 65 and there are no stoplights. With my Smart Tag I barely even have to slow down to go through the toll plaza.
Which brings us to the disadvantage: the Greenway costs almost $3.
Still, one night out of the weekend it’s worth it.
Las night was the exception, though, as for some reason the last two miles of the Greenway were stop and go traffic. Irritating.
It’s not as bad as my usual commute, though, which involves driving on Route 7, which has lots of stoplights, and upon which people will not speed.
The really irritating thing is that they could go faster if they wanted to, they just don’t. Even worse, they travel in these slow-moving packs. You manage to weave your way around one pack and think you’re in the clear as you spot the open road ahead of you – until you nearly slam into another cluster of slow-moving cars.
After a while I get tired of the constant dodging and weaving and decide to just give in and try to temporarily lobotomize myself so that I won’t be driven insane by being forced to drive under the speed limit.
Of course, over the years I’ve learned that it’s when you decide to bend over and take it that life reams you the hardest. That’s when it grabs you by the hair and yanks your head back and you can feel its hot breath in your ear as it grunts, “That’s how you like it, isn’t it bitch? You’re a dirty little whore who likes it rough. Say that you’re a dirty little whore!:” and when you do, quietly, admit that you are, in fact, a dirty little whore, it makes you say it again, louder, and you…uhh…
Anyway, once I decide to force myself to stop fighting and just go with the flow the other drivers respond by going even slower, until finally, crawling along at 35 in 55 MPH zone, I decide that there’s no way I can force myself to accept in any longer and am back to dodging and weaving my way home.
As an aside, I just got back from picking up lunch for Scott and me from Chili’s and Brian’s lunch from Charlie Chiang’s, the local Chinese restaurant. As I walked into Charlie Chiang’s I was stopped dead in my tracks by the sight of…Lo Pan! Seriously, it was frickin’ Lo Pan. Total stereotypical wizened Asian guy.
I would have taken a picture, but that would have been rude, and you don’t want to go around pissing off Lo Pan (especially not to no end).
To add to the weirdness, last night on the way home Brian and I both saw a guy who looked like Dr. Klopek from the movie The ‘burbs just standing on a corner looking pissed off.
In any case, this long, slow Saturday post has been long and slow enough, though I may actually be back with more later.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Mad Shell Scripting Skillz

1 #!bin/ksh
2 class=Introduction_to_Linux
3 if
4 test ${class} = boring
5 then
6 leave early on last day
7 fi

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Words To Live By

"Nothing is said that has not been said before." - Terence

"What he said." - Heimdall

For Nerds Only

Non-nerds need not follow this (though nerds probably already know about it):

Dell Beams Up Alienware

Say Hello To Number 641

I just noticed that Threshold has a total of 640 posts (though now it's 641).
I'm not sure why that seemed significant to me when I noticed it, but it did.
In any case, I didn't get a chance to post a proper entry yesterday and I don't think I will today, either.
After all, once I get home from class today it won't be long until it's my ridiculously early bedtime.
I have one more day of class tomorrow, but in order to get in my full 32 hours of OT I'm going to get up, drive in to work for a couple of hours, drive back to HQ for the class, then finish out what's left of the day at work.
So I don't get to "sleep in" tomorrow.
Of course, I typically get more sleep when I'm getting up at 5 am than when I get up later anyway, as I don't go to bed as early.
In any case, that's it for entry 641.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Incongruous

It seems to me that there’s just something slightly incongruous about being in the kitchen preparing Torta di Pasta while listening to Pantera’s “Cowboys From Hell.”


Delicious and HARD CORE!

It's Killing Me

The thing that's really killing me in my Linux/Unix class is that one of the guys looks almost exactly like Buster from the sadly missed series Arrested Development, just a little older and balder (and with two hands).

NARF!

"But Brain, what'll we do on AOL's In2TV?"
"The same thing we did on television, Pinky: try to take over the world!"
Check it out: full episodes of Pinky & The Brain for free!
Troz!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

V For Very Long Post Or Sorry Alan, I Liked It

Linux/Unix class got slightly more interesting today, as we did learn how to do a few things beyond simply navigating within directories and getting it to bring up a calendar.
Still, it did continue to be demonstrative of the whole nerd way of thinking, which is often counter-intuitive and just plain silly.
I can understand the reasoning behind why things might have been done a certain way 20+ years ago, but the fact of the matter is that, for example, we no longer use punch cards on computers, so there’s really no need for us to continue to interact with them as if we do.
In other words, update this nonsense.  There’s no reason I should have to learn how to do things in some archaic fashion that didn’t take into account that we might one day have keyboards with function keys and numeric keypads and whatever the hell else they didn’t have back then.
If you’re a total nerd, you may think that it provides you some sort of cachet to have memorized a series of arcane keystrokes that allow you to do something that could be done with a right click, but it doesn’t.  Nothing is going to make you cool, Poindexter, and nobody cares that you can whiz around your terminal emulation screen using the H, J, K, and L keys faster than I can with the mouse or those newfangled arrow keys.
You want to show us that you’re really cool and down with the old school?  Start interacting directly with the hardware without any kind of OS.  I’m talking direct hardware manipulation.  Start flipping switches and swapping out vacuum tubes and maybe then I’ll be impressed.
But probably not.
The real thing that annoys me about this class, though, is that I’m taking it with an eye towards possibly moving onto another desk at work, but I suspect that if I ever do make the move there will only be a handful of specific commands that I’ll ever need to run and that knowing all of the rest of this crap will be totally unnecessary.
I could be wrong on that score, but somehow I doubt it.
But I can’t complain too much, as it is going to be a lot of OT.
On another topic, last night I went to see V for Vendetta after class.
I found that I enjoyed it much more than I expected to and that the parts that bothered me bothered me a lot less than I expected them to.
Basically, the way they handled one particular part – one of the most pivotal parts of the story – made up for any missteps they might have made in the rest of the movie (and they did make several).
While they did throw in some references to current events, I really don’t see it as being a specific attack on the current administration, and anyone who feels that it’s an indictment of conservatives in general is being way too sensitive.
The book was written during the Thatcher years in England and was very much an indictment of that administration, but much more than that it was intended to serve as an inquiry into the nature of freedom, oppression, intolerance, and paranoia, and it asked questions rather than trying to provide the answers.
The title character, V, is a terrorist.  There can be no question of that.  But given that the government he’s fighting against is corrupt and evil in an equally unquestionable fashion makes it clear that V is also a freedom fighter and that in many ways his actions are noble.
At the same time, his motivation can be called into question, as he’s not solely motivated by a noble desire to shake off the chains of oppression for his fellow citizens, he is primarily motivated, as is indicated by the rest of the title, by revenge.
Yet, given what was done to him – and so many others like him – by his own government, who can blame him for wanting revenge?
V is a complex character.  He’s charming, witty, funny, and brilliant, but he’s also brutal, vicious, and monstrous.  He’s capable of acts of incredible kindness and acts of jaw-dropping callousness.  Is he a hero?  Is he a villain?
This is what makes V – the movie and the character – so maddening.  Nothing is simple and there are no easy answers.
That’s what infuriates me so much about the knee-jerk reactions of so many people who have seen it – and the many others who haven’t – as they claim that it’s a simple attack on W and America, because, despite it’s many flaws, the movie is decidedly not that simple.
There is much left out from the source material that only adds to the confusion.  For example, one sub-plot in the book follows the descent o the widow of one of V’s victim’s as she finds her safe and comfortable world utterly shattered.
But yes, there are definite digs at W et. al, but they primarily serve to set the context of the story.
After all, when Moore started writing V in the early 1980s he set it in the “unimaginably distant” future time of 1997.
Obviously things had to be moved ahead a little, which changed the context considerably.
After all, in the 80s, for those of you too young to remember, we lived in a world in which there was a very real possibility that the Cold War could escalate into a full-on nuclear exchange.
Now we live in fear of terrorist attacks with bio-weapons as the War on Terror burns hot.
This fact can’t not change the way a story like V is re-told.  Rather than having an England caught in the crossfire between America and Russia, we find an England caught in the crossfire between America and the Islamic world.
A conservative might see this movie and see a typical liberal overreaction to current administrative policies and say, “There they go again, calling us fascists.”
No, the movie is calling fascists fascists.
Where it draws parallels with the current administration it’s saying, “Look, this is what we’re worried about.  We’re not saying that you’re like this, we’re saying that this seems like the path you’re walking, and we hope that you can agree that this is not a destination we should be setting out for.”
That’s my take on it at least.
As for the movie itself, visually it was pretty amazing.  While it wasn’t quite at the level of Sin City in terms of bringing pages to life on the screen, there were some moments that were amazing.  For example, in the scene in which we first see V sitting at his vanity and getting ready for a night on the town, I actually gasped.  It looked just like the same image from the book.
Of course, much of that is due to how well-made the mask was, as it was identical to the one in the book.
As for the mask, through the use of clever lighting techniques they managed to make it amazingly expressive, and I was glad to see that, unlike pretty much every other movie in which a masked character is featured, it never comes off.
(In one bit, though, V wears a different mask, a mask which – I’m assuming this was intentional and done as sort of an in-joke – he looks very much like Alan Moore.  Alan actually had his name removed from the credits entirely, so it said, “Based on the graphic novel illustrated by David Lloyd.”)
Natalie Portman played her part very well, making up for her wooden performances in the last three Star Wars movies, and while she did a passable (to American ears) job with the accent, I still think Keira Knightley would have been a better choice for the part.
Still, I have to say that even with her head shaved she looked pretty hot.
Actually, that brings me to the thing that bothered me the most about the movie.
In one scene, in which she’s helping V get to a corrupt Bishop who has very particular taste when it comes to female companionship, she appears dressed up to look like a little girl.
As much as I hate to admit it, she looked extremely hot at that point, and even though I still looked on her as a grown woman in her 20s, it made me feel like a total perv.
(Honestly, it was just the extremely short skirt and the stockings that did it; the pig tails were kind of off-putting.)
In any case, I enjoyed the movie.
So much so, in fact, that when I got home I downloaded a crappy cam grab of it so that I could catch the sequence I missed when I finally lost the war I’d been waging with my bladder for an hour and a half.
So my apologies to Alan, but I have to say that I liked it.
When I got to the theater it was lousy with teenagers (I mean literally louse-y – I look at the presence of teenagers as being an infestations similar to having lice), though one of them did nearly make me laugh out loud.
I was standing in line at the concession stand and this kid and his girlfriend were behind me.  The kid said, in that stuffed-up, vaguely retarded teenage boy voice, “All of my friends who used to work here quit.”
The girlfriend, not missing a beat, said, “Why, because you keep coming here?”
I thought it would be poor form to laugh out loud, as the kid didn’t think it was very funny, so I managed to restrain myself
After sitting through pretty much every one I’d already seen at Ultraviolet, I was beginning to think that the previews were never going to stop.
What made it especially irritating was that, with the exception of X-Men 3, I had no interest in seeing any of them.
I got my usual Sprite to drink, but as I was about to head in to the theater I took a sip of it and discovered that it was pure carbonated water.  Rather than wait for them to change the syrup I opted to go with a root beer instead.
And that was my exciting night at the movies.
I’d had lunch with Kathleen yesterday afternoon, but that wasn’t an option today, as her Tuesdays are too busy for her to take a break to meet me.  Tomorrow I’ll most likely have lunch with Scott who will also be at HQ for some Linux training, though it’s a different class from mine.
I mentioned that yesterday that I saw a tremendously hot chick at lunch.  It bears mentioning again.  I haven’t seen anyone that hot in a long, long time.  I tried, and failed, to not openly stare at her, and I have to confess that while she was in my field of view I was totally oblivious to whatever Kathleen was saying to me.
*Sigh*
Devoid of any lunch companions today, I opted to grab a quick slice of default pizza from the tiny cafeteria in the building I was in rather than walking over to one of the buildings with a larger cafeteria, and called my mom.
In any case, though not in any sort of linear format, that pretty much brings us up to date.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Damn!

If you're unfamiliar with the concept of "cosplay," check out this link that Scott passed along to me.
This chick goes all out.

Maybe Tomorrow We'll Find Out What A "Byte" Is

Unix...basics...so...boring.
I hate having to learn how to do command line stuff when the GUI has been around for over twenty years.
Sure, command line interfaces allow for more flexibility, more control, more blah blah blah, but they suck.
Why would I bother doing a mv command when I could just click and drag a file where I want it?
But whatever.
Two chicks in the class: both okay looking, one married, one single(?). (Update: not single)
Saw a tremendously hot chick at lunch, though, and the memory of her makes them look like...well, I'd rather not say.
Worst part of the class? There are a couple of guys here who are System Administrators, and yet they needed an explanation of what really happens to data when you delete it (for you non-technical people - and SAs, apparently - I'm talking about the fact that it isn't immediately erased, it's just that the section of the hard drive it occupies becomes available for use, allowing it to be overwritten).
Main thing I'm learning is what I already knew: Unix/Linux was devised by a bunch of nerds who don't think the way normal people do.
That's not to say that I think the way normal people do either, as, obviously, I don't, it's just that I'm more keenly aware than most of the distance between nerd thought and normal thought.
Going to hit the theater and catch V after class gets over; probably won't write more tonight.
Also, my apologies to those of you who have a subscription to Threshold (I was surprised and pleased to learn that there are three more of you than there had been), as Bloglet seems to be having some trouble communicating with Blogger, so you may not be getting your entries via e-mail. There's not really anything I can do about it I'm afraid.
Anyway, back to the "learning."

Sunday, March 19, 2006

I Thought It Was Dead And Buried

The Bikini Cavegirl hits just keep on coming.
One of them, however, came with a blast from the past: Alta Vista.
I saw that on my Web stats page and thought, "Alta Vista? People still use that?"
That thought was immediatel followed by, "And they're using it to do Bikini Cavegirl searches?"
Before Google came along Alta Vista was my search engine of choice. It was an invaluable asset that eventually lost its value as shinier, faster, and more relevant search engines came along.
But while I do remember it fondly, I thought it had closed up shop and disappeared into the annals of Internet history.
I guess there are stranger things in the world than dozens of people doing Web searches on Bikini Cavegirl, such as people doing Web searches on Bikini Cavegirl using Alta Vista.