Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Welcome Back, Dean
I forgot to mention this earlier, but welcome back to my brother-in-law Dean, who returned home today from a tour in Iraq.
Stuck In The Middle With...Oh Right, Just Me
So I’m officially a homeowner.This morning started early, as I had to drive over to the condo first to verify that they did the things I asked them to do during the walk through and sign off on it, and then I had to turn around and drive 22 miles towards DC…at 9 am.
This made for a lot of irritation, which I may detail in some future entry.
Once I got to the title company to sign all of the papers – and there were a lot of damn papers to sign – we ran into a problem, in that the settlement costs listed were about $1,000 more than what was listed on the estimate.
This was largely due to some major screw-ups by the mortgage company, and my realtor sprung into action to get it sorted out, which was kind of fun to watch.
Still, it took a while to get everything sorted out, so ultimately it took me about three hours to get to the point at which I had the keys in my hand.
So it wasn’t until well into the afternoon that I called Brian and we got started on moving.
Moving my couch served the purposes of demonstrating just how long it’s been since I worked out and just exactly what the lingering effects of 18 years of smoking are.
We got the majority of my furniture moved over (most of the rest of the stuff I can haul over myself), but we weren’t able to move my bed, as the mattress and box spring are too big to fit in Brian’s truck. The lack of bungee cords coupled with a poorly secured luggage rack and high winds meant that I wasn’t able to get the bed moved over.
I’ll most likely rent a truck from Home Depot tomorrow for the purposes of moving it, but I’m considering the option of just throwing them away and buying a new set and having it delivered. After all, it was never a great bed to begin with, and the prospect of moving it isn’t especially appealing. We’ll see, I guess.
In the meantime I’m back at the apartment, as after moving stuff – and taking Brian and Kathleen out to dinner as a means of repaying them for helping me move – I didn’t feel like messing with sorting stuff out over there.
Besides, along with my bed, my TV is still at the apartment, as is my Internet access, though I did find that there are three wireless networks within range of my condo, at least one of which is unsecured, so I could leech off of it until my cable gets hooked up.
Until I get more things moved over, I’m sort of stuck in the middle.
My apartment actually looks kind of like I’ve been robbed, though I’ve got most of what I need and most of the valuable stuff is still here.
What I am lacking here, though, is anything comfortable to sit on.
All I have is my plastic deck furniture and one of those round folding chairs.
I actually bought the thing a couple of years ago to use in my bedroom as something to sit on while getting dressed in the morning, though ultimately it served as something to throw my clothes onto rather than sitting on while throwing my clothes on.
Still, it works for what I need, though my lap is getting a bit warm from having the Tablet PC resting on it while I type this.
In any case, I thought I would provide some kind of update. It’s unlikely that I’ll post anything more substantive before Monday (at which time I’ll most likely write about some of the more entertaining aspects of the three hours I spent at the title company).
This made for a lot of irritation, which I may detail in some future entry.
Once I got to the title company to sign all of the papers – and there were a lot of damn papers to sign – we ran into a problem, in that the settlement costs listed were about $1,000 more than what was listed on the estimate.
This was largely due to some major screw-ups by the mortgage company, and my realtor sprung into action to get it sorted out, which was kind of fun to watch.
Still, it took a while to get everything sorted out, so ultimately it took me about three hours to get to the point at which I had the keys in my hand.
So it wasn’t until well into the afternoon that I called Brian and we got started on moving.
Moving my couch served the purposes of demonstrating just how long it’s been since I worked out and just exactly what the lingering effects of 18 years of smoking are.
We got the majority of my furniture moved over (most of the rest of the stuff I can haul over myself), but we weren’t able to move my bed, as the mattress and box spring are too big to fit in Brian’s truck. The lack of bungee cords coupled with a poorly secured luggage rack and high winds meant that I wasn’t able to get the bed moved over.
I’ll most likely rent a truck from Home Depot tomorrow for the purposes of moving it, but I’m considering the option of just throwing them away and buying a new set and having it delivered. After all, it was never a great bed to begin with, and the prospect of moving it isn’t especially appealing. We’ll see, I guess.
In the meantime I’m back at the apartment, as after moving stuff – and taking Brian and Kathleen out to dinner as a means of repaying them for helping me move – I didn’t feel like messing with sorting stuff out over there.
Besides, along with my bed, my TV is still at the apartment, as is my Internet access, though I did find that there are three wireless networks within range of my condo, at least one of which is unsecured, so I could leech off of it until my cable gets hooked up.
Until I get more things moved over, I’m sort of stuck in the middle.
My apartment actually looks kind of like I’ve been robbed, though I’ve got most of what I need and most of the valuable stuff is still here.
What I am lacking here, though, is anything comfortable to sit on.
All I have is my plastic deck furniture and one of those round folding chairs.
I actually bought the thing a couple of years ago to use in my bedroom as something to sit on while getting dressed in the morning, though ultimately it served as something to throw my clothes onto rather than sitting on while throwing my clothes on.
Still, it works for what I need, though my lap is getting a bit warm from having the Tablet PC resting on it while I type this.
In any case, I thought I would provide some kind of update. It’s unlikely that I’ll post anything more substantive before Monday (at which time I’ll most likely write about some of the more entertaining aspects of the three hours I spent at the title company).
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
So I've discovered that the no-name cable company can't get me hooked up until Monday.
Now I'm not sure if I should move in right away tomorrow or Thursday like I'd planned, or if I should just wait until Monday.
Of course, over the weekend I won't be doing much besides sleeping anyway, so I could just move in everything except my TV, and come back over here to watch the shows that my DVR grabs before I bring it back to Adelphia.
That would mean sitting on the floor while I'm here, but I guess I could manage.
I'm pretty eager to get move in anyway, so I guess I'd be willing to make whatever sacrifices are necessary.
Once the Tablet PC arrived I spent most of the afternoon going through the various set up hassles that are always part of getting a new computer. Now I have it mostly set up and have been playing with it.
For example, the first part of this entry was written by hand using the handwriting recognition feature, which I have to say is pretty impressive, given just how bad my handwriting is.
Using the stylus does take some getting used to. I find myself covering up what I'm trying to manipulate as I rest my hand on the screen.
Still, just twisting the screen around is pretty entertaining in and of itself.
In any case, by the time I next post an entry I should be a homeowner. Whether I'm actually living in that home before Monday is another question entirely...
Now I'm not sure if I should move in right away tomorrow or Thursday like I'd planned, or if I should just wait until Monday.
Of course, over the weekend I won't be doing much besides sleeping anyway, so I could just move in everything except my TV, and come back over here to watch the shows that my DVR grabs before I bring it back to Adelphia.
That would mean sitting on the floor while I'm here, but I guess I could manage.
I'm pretty eager to get move in anyway, so I guess I'd be willing to make whatever sacrifices are necessary.
Once the Tablet PC arrived I spent most of the afternoon going through the various set up hassles that are always part of getting a new computer. Now I have it mostly set up and have been playing with it.
For example, the first part of this entry was written by hand using the handwriting recognition feature, which I have to say is pretty impressive, given just how bad my handwriting is.
Using the stylus does take some getting used to. I find myself covering up what I'm trying to manipulate as I rest my hand on the screen.
Still, just twisting the screen around is pretty entertaining in and of itself.
In any case, by the time I next post an entry I should be a homeowner. Whether I'm actually living in that home before Monday is another question entirely...
For All The Haters Out There
Over the weekend Brian found a call for submissions from dateless wonders who hate Valentine’s Day on the Web site of a local paper.
Naturally he passed it along to me.
I decided that I would go ahead and participate, venting on the subject of my antipathy towards the day.
This is what I wrote, adhering to the 200 words or fewer ( I came in at a trim – for me – 196 words) requirement:
Considering that the "holiday" named after him primarily serves to remind loveless losers that they are, in fact, loveless losers, it's no wonder that St. Valentine was beheaded. How "saintly" is it to rub people's noses in the fact that they're alone anyway?
The one good thing about the day, though, is it finally marks the end of the period that starts shortly after Halloween and spans Christmas and New Year's in which we are inundated with ads for diamonds and other expensive gifts for that special – and for many of us, non-existent – "someone" for whom we need to demonstrate our love by spending as much money as possible. Valentine's Day, minus the "Saint," for those of us not "blessed" with a reason to shell out our hard-earned dollars to Hallmark or Zales or Kay, has become nothing more than a reminder that we are alone and therefore less valuable as consumers and human beings.
If nothing else makes you see that Valentine's Day is evil, consider those little hearts made of chalk and passed off as candy, with their nonsense phrases that are as empty and meaningless as the day itself. "Oh You Kid," indeed.
I sent the e-mail out with the subject line “Valentine’s Day: Threat or Menace?”
Shortly afterwards I received this response:
Oh my god, so true/hilarious! That's exactly what we're looking for. Thank you for responding. Please pass the word along to anyone else you know who'd like to vent.
I’m not certain if you have to be a resident of Loudoun County to participate, but if you’re interested, the original notice that Brian passed along to me can be found here.
So far today has been spent…hang on…sweet! My Tablet PC has arrived!
Naturally he passed it along to me.
I decided that I would go ahead and participate, venting on the subject of my antipathy towards the day.
This is what I wrote, adhering to the 200 words or fewer ( I came in at a trim – for me – 196 words) requirement:
Considering that the "holiday" named after him primarily serves to remind loveless losers that they are, in fact, loveless losers, it's no wonder that St. Valentine was beheaded. How "saintly" is it to rub people's noses in the fact that they're alone anyway?
The one good thing about the day, though, is it finally marks the end of the period that starts shortly after Halloween and spans Christmas and New Year's in which we are inundated with ads for diamonds and other expensive gifts for that special – and for many of us, non-existent – "someone" for whom we need to demonstrate our love by spending as much money as possible. Valentine's Day, minus the "Saint," for those of us not "blessed" with a reason to shell out our hard-earned dollars to Hallmark or Zales or Kay, has become nothing more than a reminder that we are alone and therefore less valuable as consumers and human beings.
If nothing else makes you see that Valentine's Day is evil, consider those little hearts made of chalk and passed off as candy, with their nonsense phrases that are as empty and meaningless as the day itself. "Oh You Kid," indeed.
I sent the e-mail out with the subject line “Valentine’s Day: Threat or Menace?”
Shortly afterwards I received this response:
Oh my god, so true/hilarious! That's exactly what we're looking for. Thank you for responding. Please pass the word along to anyone else you know who'd like to vent.
I’m not certain if you have to be a resident of Loudoun County to participate, but if you’re interested, the original notice that Brian passed along to me can be found here.
So far today has been spent…hang on…sweet! My Tablet PC has arrived!
A List That YOU Are On
I found a list of The 50 Most Loathsome People In America, 2005 over at a site called The BEAST: America's Best Fiend.
If you are easily offended by...well, anything, but in particular by any sort of bias that isn't yours, then I would not recommend reading it, especially if your bias is in line with the current administration.
But, if you are able to have some of your beliefs derided, and with a great deal of vitriol at that, or if you are, in fact, heaven forbid, a liberal, you might be interested in checking it out, if for no other reason than to get an idea of what those in opposition to you are thinking.
As for me, I agree with much of what is said, but not all. Some of the accusations and assertions are spurious at best, and it all has to be taken with a grain of comedic salt, but overall I think there's much to be found in the list that is worth considerting.
At the very least, I think everyone should see the entry for Number 4:
If you are easily offended by...well, anything, but in particular by any sort of bias that isn't yours, then I would not recommend reading it, especially if your bias is in line with the current administration.
But, if you are able to have some of your beliefs derided, and with a great deal of vitriol at that, or if you are, in fact, heaven forbid, a liberal, you might be interested in checking it out, if for no other reason than to get an idea of what those in opposition to you are thinking.
As for me, I agree with much of what is said, but not all. Some of the accusations and assertions are spurious at best, and it all has to be taken with a grain of comedic salt, but overall I think there's much to be found in the list that is worth considerting.
At the very least, I think everyone should see the entry for Number 4:
4. You
Charges: Silently enabling and contributing to the irreversible destruction of your
planet. Absolving yourself of your responsibility to do anything about it that
your immediate neighbors don’t. Assuming that it’s normal behavior to spend
several hours each day totally inert and staring into a cathode ray tube.
Substituting antidepressants for physical motion. Caring more about the personal
relationships of people you will never meet than your own. Shrugging your
shoulders at the knowledge that your government is populated by criminal liars
intent on fooling you into impoverished, helpless submission. Cheering this
process on.
Exhibit A: You don’t even know who your congressman is.
Sentence: Deathbed realization that your entire life was an unending series of stupid mistakes and wasted opportunities, a priceless gift of potential extravagantly squandered, for which you deserve nothing but scorn or, at best, indifference, and a cold, meaningless demise.
Monday, January 23, 2006
At Least I Kept Myself From Coming Up With A "Dream Cast"
Perhaps even more than I’m waiting to move into my condo, I’m waiting for the movie Annapolis to finally open in theaters.
Am I eager for it to open because I have a strong desire to see it? No, not at all. Quite the reverse, in fact.
My total lack of interest in seeing this movie, which I actually already saw over twenty years ago when it starred Richard Gere and Louis Gossett Jr. and was called An Officer and a Gentleman, is the reason why I’m so eager to have it open in theaters. After all, once it does I will no longer have to see ads for it every five minutes.
On the topic of movies, on Saturday I had the damnedest time getting to sleep, in part because I just felt physically restless, but also because I couldn’t get my mind to shut off enough to fall asleep as I found myself lying there coming up with an idea for, of all things, a Green Lantern movie.
Why? No clue.
After all, I don’t know anything about writing screenplays and I have no real interest in learning anything about writing screenplays because it would be an utterly pointless endeavor.
But there I was, unable to sleep, plotting out what would, I think, actually be a pretty kick-ass Green Lantern movie that would be faithful enough to satisfy the fanboys and still offering something to draw in non-fans.
After I had plotted the whole thing out in my head I still couldn’t shut my brain off and get to sleep, as I immediately started coming up with ideas for the sequels.
Somewhere along the line I managed to put a stop to the fruitless and pointless mental exercise, though, and drifted off to a less-than restful night’s sleep that actually necessitated my having to resort to the use of caffeine on Sunday morning.
I actually gave up caffeine, or rather, caffeinated beverages, as I don’t really go terribly far out of my way to avoid caffeine, at the same time that I gave up drinking.
My “no caffeine” policy doesn’t extend as far as not eating chocolate, so it’s not a total abstinence thing like my not drinking, or my not smoking, or my sex life, though I don’t know that you can really count that as abstinence so much as just the natural order of things.
I mean, saying that I’m abstaining from having sex would be like saying that I’m abstaining from flying under my own power or growing a third arm. I might just as well say that I’m abstaining from teleporting.
A while ago I actually found a site that’s something of a support group for the “Involuntarily Celibate,” or, as they call themselves, incel.
Personally, I prefer one of the alternative names suggested on the site: non-ogamous.
I never really checked the site out much, as it’s not really support that I need so much as…well, I’m sure you can figure it out.
On a peripherally-related subject, this morning after the walk through my realtor and I headed to a nearby Starbucks to go over some things. In the course of our conversation on the way in he asked me what I do to “blow off steam.” I mentioned that I write and draw, and of course I mentioned Threshold, but if I had answered truthfully, I would have said that I pretty much don’t blow off steam.
This is, of course, why someday I will most likely explode like some kind of old, poorly-constructed and maintained boiler.
All I can do is hope that I don’t take too many other people with me, though given how much time I spend alone that probably won’t be an issue.
In all honesty, if I ever do “explode,” it probably wouldn’t be terribly dramatic. It would probably be something along the lines of me being in a grocery store and suddenly yelling, “Why is it so goddamn hard for you people to stay out of my way?” followed by me sheepishly walking out the door, after I manage to maneuver around the old lady who’s parked her cart sideways in the middle of the aisle right in front of the brand of green beans I wanted to buy.
No shooting spree, no high-speed chase that’s broadcast all over the news, just some randomly bizarre – yet stunningly mundane – occurrence that will rate little more attention than a brief mention along the lines of “oh, and there was some weirdo at the store today who yelled something about people being in his way” in the only half-listened to recounting of the events of some housewife’s day.
I just got an e-mail telling me that my tablet PC has shipped, so I should receive it sometime tomorrow.
This news puts me that much closer to being able to post handwritten entries from the comfort of my balcony or some kind of local business offering wireless Internet, and won’t that be exciting?
Am I eager for it to open because I have a strong desire to see it? No, not at all. Quite the reverse, in fact.
My total lack of interest in seeing this movie, which I actually already saw over twenty years ago when it starred Richard Gere and Louis Gossett Jr. and was called An Officer and a Gentleman, is the reason why I’m so eager to have it open in theaters. After all, once it does I will no longer have to see ads for it every five minutes.
On the topic of movies, on Saturday I had the damnedest time getting to sleep, in part because I just felt physically restless, but also because I couldn’t get my mind to shut off enough to fall asleep as I found myself lying there coming up with an idea for, of all things, a Green Lantern movie.
Why? No clue.
After all, I don’t know anything about writing screenplays and I have no real interest in learning anything about writing screenplays because it would be an utterly pointless endeavor.
But there I was, unable to sleep, plotting out what would, I think, actually be a pretty kick-ass Green Lantern movie that would be faithful enough to satisfy the fanboys and still offering something to draw in non-fans.
After I had plotted the whole thing out in my head I still couldn’t shut my brain off and get to sleep, as I immediately started coming up with ideas for the sequels.
Somewhere along the line I managed to put a stop to the fruitless and pointless mental exercise, though, and drifted off to a less-than restful night’s sleep that actually necessitated my having to resort to the use of caffeine on Sunday morning.
I actually gave up caffeine, or rather, caffeinated beverages, as I don’t really go terribly far out of my way to avoid caffeine, at the same time that I gave up drinking.
My “no caffeine” policy doesn’t extend as far as not eating chocolate, so it’s not a total abstinence thing like my not drinking, or my not smoking, or my sex life, though I don’t know that you can really count that as abstinence so much as just the natural order of things.
I mean, saying that I’m abstaining from having sex would be like saying that I’m abstaining from flying under my own power or growing a third arm. I might just as well say that I’m abstaining from teleporting.
A while ago I actually found a site that’s something of a support group for the “Involuntarily Celibate,” or, as they call themselves, incel.
Personally, I prefer one of the alternative names suggested on the site: non-ogamous.
I never really checked the site out much, as it’s not really support that I need so much as…well, I’m sure you can figure it out.
On a peripherally-related subject, this morning after the walk through my realtor and I headed to a nearby Starbucks to go over some things. In the course of our conversation on the way in he asked me what I do to “blow off steam.” I mentioned that I write and draw, and of course I mentioned Threshold, but if I had answered truthfully, I would have said that I pretty much don’t blow off steam.
This is, of course, why someday I will most likely explode like some kind of old, poorly-constructed and maintained boiler.
All I can do is hope that I don’t take too many other people with me, though given how much time I spend alone that probably won’t be an issue.
In all honesty, if I ever do “explode,” it probably wouldn’t be terribly dramatic. It would probably be something along the lines of me being in a grocery store and suddenly yelling, “Why is it so goddamn hard for you people to stay out of my way?” followed by me sheepishly walking out the door, after I manage to maneuver around the old lady who’s parked her cart sideways in the middle of the aisle right in front of the brand of green beans I wanted to buy.
No shooting spree, no high-speed chase that’s broadcast all over the news, just some randomly bizarre – yet stunningly mundane – occurrence that will rate little more attention than a brief mention along the lines of “oh, and there was some weirdo at the store today who yelled something about people being in his way” in the only half-listened to recounting of the events of some housewife’s day.
I just got an e-mail telling me that my tablet PC has shipped, so I should receive it sometime tomorrow.
This news puts me that much closer to being able to post handwritten entries from the comfort of my balcony or some kind of local business offering wireless Internet, and won’t that be exciting?
You Can't Make It Up, But You Can Vote For It
As can be seen in this post, one of my favorite blogs, You Can't Make It Up, has been nominated for a 2006 Bloggie Award for Most Humorous Blog.
I encourage all loyal Threshold readers (the same "loyal" Threshold readers who DID NOT nominate me for any damn award) to go out and vote for You Can't Make It Up.
I encourage all loyal Threshold readers (the same "loyal" Threshold readers who DID NOT nominate me for any damn award) to go out and vote for You Can't Make It Up.
Walk On By
So this morning I went on the walk through at my condo to look for any issues that need to be taken care of.
We (me and my realtor) only found a couple of really minor things. The big concern going in had been the major squeak in the floor by the sliding glass doors, but that seems to have been pretty well taken care of.
This was the first time I'd seen it in a finished state, as the last time I saw it the place was essentially gutted.
It looked good. I took some pictures with my PDA's camera, but they didn't turn out.
Now at least I have a slightly better idea of how I'm going to arrange things once I get moved in, which, ideally, will be on Wednesday.
I'll just mention right now, for what will probably not be the last time, that I hate moving. I'm tempted to just hire some people, but I honestly don't have all that much stuff to move, and Brian has offered his services, so I guess I might as well spare myself the expense.
One expense I did not spare myself, though, was the pretty much totally unnecessary purchase of a Gateway Tablet PC over the weekend.
Did I need it? Of course not, but I wanted it, and I could afford it. After all, I'm mostly only going to do smart, responsible things with my money, so I needed to counteract that at least a little.
Besides, at $923 with next day air shipping, it was a bargain, and it's not as if I won't get any use out of it.
In any case, just thought I'd make a quick post about my morning activities.
We (me and my realtor) only found a couple of really minor things. The big concern going in had been the major squeak in the floor by the sliding glass doors, but that seems to have been pretty well taken care of.
This was the first time I'd seen it in a finished state, as the last time I saw it the place was essentially gutted.
It looked good. I took some pictures with my PDA's camera, but they didn't turn out.
Now at least I have a slightly better idea of how I'm going to arrange things once I get moved in, which, ideally, will be on Wednesday.
I'll just mention right now, for what will probably not be the last time, that I hate moving. I'm tempted to just hire some people, but I honestly don't have all that much stuff to move, and Brian has offered his services, so I guess I might as well spare myself the expense.
One expense I did not spare myself, though, was the pretty much totally unnecessary purchase of a Gateway Tablet PC over the weekend.
Did I need it? Of course not, but I wanted it, and I could afford it. After all, I'm mostly only going to do smart, responsible things with my money, so I needed to counteract that at least a little.
Besides, at $923 with next day air shipping, it was a bargain, and it's not as if I won't get any use out of it.
In any case, just thought I'd make a quick post about my morning activities.
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