On any other Thursday I would have been in bed long ago.
Of course, this obviously isn’t an ordinary Thursday, given that I’m not in bed and don’t have any immediate plans to be.
This is because I’ve taken tomorrow morning off.
The upside of this is that I get to stay up late tonight and sleep in tomorrow. The downside is that after I get up I have to write a check for a substantial amount of money, paying off the remainder of the earnest money on my condo.
Or rather, what I continue to hope will be my condo someday soon.
As for developments on that front, there may have been one today.
I had to head in to work for a meeting. When I got home I saw that the mailman had been here, so I checked my mail to see if I finally got the “paid” letter I’ve been waiting for.
It wasn’t there.
So I called the collection agency again and explained the situation. They claimed that the letter had been sent on the 28th, but I mentioned again, pretty angrily, that I still haven’t gotten it and that I don’t see why they can’t fax it.
The girl that I was talking to, Tara, was more helpful than the doofus I talked to last week and agreed to fax it to the mortgage company.
I followed this up with a call to the mortgage guy, though I got his voicemail and never heard back from him, so I don’t know if he got the fax or not.
After the meeting at work and before I came home I stopped to get a haircut.
When I walked into the place it was totally empty with no employees immediately in sight, though eventually I spotted – and was spotted by – a Hispanic lady in the back room.
She came out, asked for my phone number and entered it into the computer, and said, “Jon?” I said yes and she turned to head back to the room she’d come from and said, “She’ll be right with you, Mr. Jon.”
Shortly after that a woman who looked like she might speak English without any sort of accent came out and said hello, then started moving toward the register.
Before she could say “Jon?” and lead me back, some guy came bursting in and stole her focus. Evidently he was a “regular” of hers or something and managed to steal her out from under me, leaving me with the Hispanic lady, who had to finish up whatever she was doing in the back room before she could actually get around to cutting my hair.
The whole thing annoyed me a great deal, particularly given that the other guy was bald.
I mean, why does this bald asshole get to come in after me and steal the lady who speaks English and leave me with the one who needs to have the word “spiky” explained to her several times.
(I should take this time to mention that despite her lack of fluency in English she did give me one of the better haircuts I’ve had in a while.)
I probably would have been even more annoyed by the whole thing if the chick had been cute, single, and not 8+ months pregnant.
Of course, I did have a very quiet revenge of sorts as I chuckled to myself when she looked at the little soul patch worth of hair he had remaining up there and asked him if he wanted “a little off the top.”
While my hair is not something I’m in any immediate danger of losing (I’ll happily watch my hair turn gray as long as it doesn’t get thin), I did nearly lose my work ID badge today.
I seldom wear a belt, so I usually clip the little pulley that my badge is attached to onto my pocket. On my way out the door to head to my meeting I clipped it on, got in the car, and stopped at the Safeway gas station to fill up my tank.
I’ve cultivated a kind of paranoia when it comes to going places, one which requires me to obsessively run through a checklist as I’m on my way, checking multiple times to make sure that I have my wallet, my phone, my badge, etc. so as to avoid discovering too late that I’ve forgotten something essential.
I had, of course, run through the checklist when I left my apartment, but after I left Safeway I was focused entirely on my drive, knowing that I had run through my paranoid checklist.
However, I was vaguely aware of a nagging suspicion that something was missing.
I had gotten about a mile down the road before I realized that I couldn’t feel my badge.
I pulled into a parking lot to see if had fallen between the seat and the door. It hadn’t, so I turned around and headed back to Safeway, where I was fortunate enough to find it waiting right next to the pump where it had fallen off.
In any case, that will do it for this unusually late Thursday night entry.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Who's Got The Funk?
To a much greater extent than usual, I haven’t been doing much of anything the past couple of days. Lots of reading, lots of sleeping, not much else.
In fact, in the past couple of days I’ve probably spent the most amount of time away from my computer (while still at home) that I ever have.
I suppose it’s safe to say that I’m in kind of a funk, brought on, perhaps, by the general dreariness of the weather and the fact that I’m stuck in this interminable “holding pattern” with regard to the condo loan as I wait for the damn letter that proves that I paid off my last remaining collection to arrive.
Along wit those factors is the conflict between my hope that things will work out with my pessimistic belief that they won’t, to say nothing of the looming deadline.
*Sigh*
So yeah, I’ve felt sort of compelled to just “hole up” and do as little as possible.
I did manage to go for a walk today, as, for a change, it wasn’t raining (though it was still gray and overcast).
Yesterday I went to the dentist and settled up my bill, which he’d been deferring until after the first of the year. My contribution, paid for with FLEX money, was about $835.
I’d chosen to put $3,000 into my FLEX account this year in the hopes of being able to pay for getting my eyes fixed. Given that I shouldn’t have any more major dental expenses, that may still be a possibility as long as I find a way to pony up the rest of the money that I’ll need. Said remainder, not coincidentally, being roughly equal to what I just had to shell out for my dental bills.
If I Were A Super Villain Department:
Pretty much anyone who ever read comic books (even Richie Rich and Archie comics) in the 1970s and 1980s encountered the ads for Hostess® snacks featuring DC and Marvel super heroes and villains.
(To see some examples along with some hilarious commentary, click over to the Hostess Page at Seanbaby’s site.)
For those not familiar with the ads, they all followed a basic formula that went something like this:
(It’s worth noting that I always read the Hostess® ads when I was a kid because they often seemed like they were an integral part of the comic they were published in. It was sort of like those animated Dolly Madison ads that aired during “Peanuts” cartoons back in the day [I can’t recall ever seeing a Dolly Madison ad other than during some Charlie Brown special], which had such a seamless transition from the actual cartoon that you thought they were part of it.)
In any case, it always seemed to me that if I were a Super Villain my very first major act of villainy would be to take out Hostess® once and for all. Blow up the Hostess® bakeries, hijack the Hostess® delivery trucks, destroy all means of distribution of Hostess® snacks, and, of course, force the comic book companies to pull all Hostess® ads so that no one would even know that I had a weakness for golden sponge cake with creamy filling inside.
Either that or I would engage in some “White Collar” Super Villainy and perpetrate a hostile takeover (Extremely hostile…with laser guns and robots) of Hostess®. This would serve several important purposes.
First of all, it would ensure that the real fruit filling and light, tender crust would be mine, all mine! Bwahahahahaha!
Second, the revenue stream from the sale of the snacks would allow me to fund my various nefarious schemes, as death rays don’t pay for themselves, after all.
Third, it would allow me to avoid falling for any Super Hero trickery. After all, if I’ve got a lifetime supply of devils food cake with chocolaty icing and creamed filling waiting for me back at the lair, Captain America can take that pathetic shieldful of Hostess® cupcakes and shove them where the stars and stripes don’t shine.
Finally, there is, no doubt, some way in which I could use my twisted, evil genius to make use of the irresistible nature of Hostess® snacks as a means of mass mind control, turning the world’s population into a loyal army of slaves.
Just a thought.
The other night I watched the movie “Kinsey.” I have to say that it was pretty interesting.
There are a lot of people who question his methodology and his statistical interpretation of the data collected, but I think that the fact that he engaged in any kind of serious scientific study of sexual behavior at all was the most important part.
As for the moralistic objections that people have to his work…blow me.
Just because some book tells you that something is “wrong” or “unnatural,” despite the fact that such things occur all the time in nature and in America and that those practices, when engaged in by consenting adults, aren’t hurting anyone, doesn’t mean that they don’t happen or that people are going to stop engaging in them.
Deliberately misinforming people in the hopes that it will compel them to behave “correctly” strikes me as a patently immoral approach to life, and ultimately, as was made abundantly clear to anyone looking at the results of Kinsey’s studies, does much more harm than good.
Of course, what I found most entertaining was the scene in which Liam Neeson laughed so hard that he snorted.
Now, the scene that featured Liam Neeson making out with another guy? That one I didn’t enjoy quite so much, though it was hardly traumatic (and is perfectly natural).
As I was watching it, though, it occurred to me that the casting people should have brought to life what is no doubt the subject of countless “Slash” stories and given the part of Neeson’s homoerotic lab partner to Ewan McGregor.
Speaking of scenes that were traumatic, though, in McGreor’s movie “Young Adam” there’s a scene in which you catch more than a fleeting glimpse of Obi Wan’s Kenobi.
Put that light saber away, Obi-Wan!
In any case, I think I’ll get back to my reading.
*It’s worth mentioning that many of these ads feature a couple of non-super kids who often help to save the day either by having Hostess® snacks on hand for the Super Hero to use, or by simply suggesting that the Super Hero use Hostess® snacks in some fashion. Essentially, you could conclude that, for all their earth-shattering power, the combined forces of the Justice League, Teen Titans, X-Men, and Avengers, are less effective than two white kids with a box of Twinkies.
In fact, in the past couple of days I’ve probably spent the most amount of time away from my computer (while still at home) that I ever have.
I suppose it’s safe to say that I’m in kind of a funk, brought on, perhaps, by the general dreariness of the weather and the fact that I’m stuck in this interminable “holding pattern” with regard to the condo loan as I wait for the damn letter that proves that I paid off my last remaining collection to arrive.
Along wit those factors is the conflict between my hope that things will work out with my pessimistic belief that they won’t, to say nothing of the looming deadline.
*Sigh*
So yeah, I’ve felt sort of compelled to just “hole up” and do as little as possible.
I did manage to go for a walk today, as, for a change, it wasn’t raining (though it was still gray and overcast).
Yesterday I went to the dentist and settled up my bill, which he’d been deferring until after the first of the year. My contribution, paid for with FLEX money, was about $835.
I’d chosen to put $3,000 into my FLEX account this year in the hopes of being able to pay for getting my eyes fixed. Given that I shouldn’t have any more major dental expenses, that may still be a possibility as long as I find a way to pony up the rest of the money that I’ll need. Said remainder, not coincidentally, being roughly equal to what I just had to shell out for my dental bills.
If I Were A Super Villain Department:
Pretty much anyone who ever read comic books (even Richie Rich and Archie comics) in the 1970s and 1980s encountered the ads for Hostess® snacks featuring DC and Marvel super heroes and villains.
(To see some examples along with some hilarious commentary, click over to the Hostess Page at Seanbaby’s site.)
For those not familiar with the ads, they all followed a basic formula that went something like this:
- Super Villain hatches nefarious scheme
- Super Hero busts in and tries to put a stop to nefarious scheme
- Super Hero’s powers prove ineffectual against Super Villain
- Super Hero uses the deliciousness of Hostess® Cupcakes/Twinkies/Fruit Pies (which he just happens to be carrying in his cape/utility belt) to foil the nefarious scheme, as the Super Villain is unable to resist flaky crust and/or creamy/fruit filling
- The day is saved, thanks to the Super Hero…and Hostess® snacks
(It’s worth noting that I always read the Hostess® ads when I was a kid because they often seemed like they were an integral part of the comic they were published in. It was sort of like those animated Dolly Madison ads that aired during “Peanuts” cartoons back in the day [I can’t recall ever seeing a Dolly Madison ad other than during some Charlie Brown special], which had such a seamless transition from the actual cartoon that you thought they were part of it.)
In any case, it always seemed to me that if I were a Super Villain my very first major act of villainy would be to take out Hostess® once and for all. Blow up the Hostess® bakeries, hijack the Hostess® delivery trucks, destroy all means of distribution of Hostess® snacks, and, of course, force the comic book companies to pull all Hostess® ads so that no one would even know that I had a weakness for golden sponge cake with creamy filling inside.
Either that or I would engage in some “White Collar” Super Villainy and perpetrate a hostile takeover (Extremely hostile…with laser guns and robots) of Hostess®. This would serve several important purposes.
First of all, it would ensure that the real fruit filling and light, tender crust would be mine, all mine! Bwahahahahaha!
Second, the revenue stream from the sale of the snacks would allow me to fund my various nefarious schemes, as death rays don’t pay for themselves, after all.
Third, it would allow me to avoid falling for any Super Hero trickery. After all, if I’ve got a lifetime supply of devils food cake with chocolaty icing and creamed filling waiting for me back at the lair, Captain America can take that pathetic shieldful of Hostess® cupcakes and shove them where the stars and stripes don’t shine.
Finally, there is, no doubt, some way in which I could use my twisted, evil genius to make use of the irresistible nature of Hostess® snacks as a means of mass mind control, turning the world’s population into a loyal army of slaves.
Just a thought.
The other night I watched the movie “Kinsey.” I have to say that it was pretty interesting.
There are a lot of people who question his methodology and his statistical interpretation of the data collected, but I think that the fact that he engaged in any kind of serious scientific study of sexual behavior at all was the most important part.
As for the moralistic objections that people have to his work…blow me.
Just because some book tells you that something is “wrong” or “unnatural,” despite the fact that such things occur all the time in nature and in America and that those practices, when engaged in by consenting adults, aren’t hurting anyone, doesn’t mean that they don’t happen or that people are going to stop engaging in them.
Deliberately misinforming people in the hopes that it will compel them to behave “correctly” strikes me as a patently immoral approach to life, and ultimately, as was made abundantly clear to anyone looking at the results of Kinsey’s studies, does much more harm than good.
Of course, what I found most entertaining was the scene in which Liam Neeson laughed so hard that he snorted.
Now, the scene that featured Liam Neeson making out with another guy? That one I didn’t enjoy quite so much, though it was hardly traumatic (and is perfectly natural).
As I was watching it, though, it occurred to me that the casting people should have brought to life what is no doubt the subject of countless “Slash” stories and given the part of Neeson’s homoerotic lab partner to Ewan McGregor.
Speaking of scenes that were traumatic, though, in McGreor’s movie “Young Adam” there’s a scene in which you catch more than a fleeting glimpse of Obi Wan’s Kenobi.
Put that light saber away, Obi-Wan!
In any case, I think I’ll get back to my reading.
*It’s worth mentioning that many of these ads feature a couple of non-super kids who often help to save the day either by having Hostess® snacks on hand for the Super Hero to use, or by simply suggesting that the Super Hero use Hostess® snacks in some fashion. Essentially, you could conclude that, for all their earth-shattering power, the combined forces of the Justice League, Teen Titans, X-Men, and Avengers, are less effective than two white kids with a box of Twinkies.
Monday, January 02, 2006
OYATM
So far 2006 continues to be very much like 2005.
I woke up a bit after eight this morning initially concerned that it was a work day and that I had overslept before realizing that it was actually Monday, at which point, even though I didn’t want to, I got up.
It was rainy and just generally cruddy out, so going for a walk wasn’t an option. I didn’t feel like doing much of anything, so I considered going back to bed, but then I started doing some reading and soon it was time to call my mother and then I was reading some more, and then, sometime around 2:00 my general lethargy won out and I ended up taking a two and a half hour nap.
Despite the fact that I didn’t get him anything, and I specifically told him not to get me anything, Chris ordered some Omaha Steaks for me for Christmas, so I had decided that I would have steak for dinner today, which would allow me to avoid going out into the world to buy anything.
I was lacking any sort of snacks, though, so I had intended to at least walk over to Safeway and pick up something there, but instead I decided to make oatmeal raisin cookies, as I had the ingredients for those on hand.
They were going to be just plain oatmeal cookies until I realized, almost at the last second, that I did, in fact, actually have some raisins.
And that was pretty much my day.
For anyone wondering what I was reading, I was getting caught up to date on the comic book series “JSA,” which I have in digital form.
It’s inaccurate to say that I’m “up to date,” as I’m actually up to about fifteen months ago.
There are groups of people out there who scan comic books as a means of preservation and distribution. Many of them post the scanned comics to comic-related newsgroups, which is primarily where I read them.
Most of the scanning groups, such as HACSA (Half-Assed Comic Scanning Authority) have set up “rules” for posting that prohibit posting any comic that is less than a year old to the newsgroups.
The reason for that proscription is that they aren’t trying to put the comic companies out of business, so whatever negative impact their sharing of digital copies might have is lessened by the fact that they’re only distributing things that have been off the shelves for a year.
So every month various people engage in a OYATM (One Year Ago This Month) mass posting, at which time all of the comics that were on the shelves the previous year are posted to the newsgroups.
Because they actually go off of cover dates, and covers are dated three months in advance, they’re actually posting things from fifteen months earlier.
The OYATM posts allow me to keep at least semi-current with comics without having to set foot in a comic book store or shell out for subscriptions, and they also help me to while away the long, slow hours at work.
Of course, things I’ve read in the newsgroups have inspired me to actually go out and purchase some of the titles I encounter, many of which I might not have ever checked out if not for the postings.
In any case, there do tend to be a lot of gaps in the OYATM postings. Some titles are only posted irregularly, infrequently, or not at all. And some titles get posted for a while before simply disappearing.
“JSA” was one of those disappearing titles.
Some time ago someone posted the entire series run from 1999 up until what was, at that time, the current OYATM issue, in one of the other comics newsgroups and I had downloaded it. Since I started reading OYATM posts in 2003, that meant I had a few years worth of back issues to catch up on, and since people stopped posting the OYATM scans in 2003, there were also a few issues after I’d started.
Recently, someone else decided to take the initiative and repost all of the 2005 OYATM scans, many of which hadn’t been posted, including “JSA.” I read those more recent issues over the past few days, so today I figured I’d go back and read the whole series from the beginning.
Given the unreliability of the posters, I’ve considered going out and buying some of the titles I enjoy most, or even subscribing to them, but apart from the savings involved, there’s a convenience factor involved in reading the comics in digital form.
Still, I do go out (or most often, online) and buy some of the hard and soft cover collections of storylines.
I suppose it’s only fitting that I talk about the whole OYATM thing, given that One Year Ago This Month was, in many was, much the same as this month now is, which is the point on which I opened this entry, and, I guess, the point on which I’m closing it.
I woke up a bit after eight this morning initially concerned that it was a work day and that I had overslept before realizing that it was actually Monday, at which point, even though I didn’t want to, I got up.
It was rainy and just generally cruddy out, so going for a walk wasn’t an option. I didn’t feel like doing much of anything, so I considered going back to bed, but then I started doing some reading and soon it was time to call my mother and then I was reading some more, and then, sometime around 2:00 my general lethargy won out and I ended up taking a two and a half hour nap.
Despite the fact that I didn’t get him anything, and I specifically told him not to get me anything, Chris ordered some Omaha Steaks for me for Christmas, so I had decided that I would have steak for dinner today, which would allow me to avoid going out into the world to buy anything.
I was lacking any sort of snacks, though, so I had intended to at least walk over to Safeway and pick up something there, but instead I decided to make oatmeal raisin cookies, as I had the ingredients for those on hand.
They were going to be just plain oatmeal cookies until I realized, almost at the last second, that I did, in fact, actually have some raisins.
And that was pretty much my day.
For anyone wondering what I was reading, I was getting caught up to date on the comic book series “JSA,” which I have in digital form.
It’s inaccurate to say that I’m “up to date,” as I’m actually up to about fifteen months ago.
There are groups of people out there who scan comic books as a means of preservation and distribution. Many of them post the scanned comics to comic-related newsgroups, which is primarily where I read them.
Most of the scanning groups, such as HACSA (Half-Assed Comic Scanning Authority) have set up “rules” for posting that prohibit posting any comic that is less than a year old to the newsgroups.
The reason for that proscription is that they aren’t trying to put the comic companies out of business, so whatever negative impact their sharing of digital copies might have is lessened by the fact that they’re only distributing things that have been off the shelves for a year.
So every month various people engage in a OYATM (One Year Ago This Month) mass posting, at which time all of the comics that were on the shelves the previous year are posted to the newsgroups.
Because they actually go off of cover dates, and covers are dated three months in advance, they’re actually posting things from fifteen months earlier.
The OYATM posts allow me to keep at least semi-current with comics without having to set foot in a comic book store or shell out for subscriptions, and they also help me to while away the long, slow hours at work.
Of course, things I’ve read in the newsgroups have inspired me to actually go out and purchase some of the titles I encounter, many of which I might not have ever checked out if not for the postings.
In any case, there do tend to be a lot of gaps in the OYATM postings. Some titles are only posted irregularly, infrequently, or not at all. And some titles get posted for a while before simply disappearing.
“JSA” was one of those disappearing titles.
Some time ago someone posted the entire series run from 1999 up until what was, at that time, the current OYATM issue, in one of the other comics newsgroups and I had downloaded it. Since I started reading OYATM posts in 2003, that meant I had a few years worth of back issues to catch up on, and since people stopped posting the OYATM scans in 2003, there were also a few issues after I’d started.
Recently, someone else decided to take the initiative and repost all of the 2005 OYATM scans, many of which hadn’t been posted, including “JSA.” I read those more recent issues over the past few days, so today I figured I’d go back and read the whole series from the beginning.
Given the unreliability of the posters, I’ve considered going out and buying some of the titles I enjoy most, or even subscribing to them, but apart from the savings involved, there’s a convenience factor involved in reading the comics in digital form.
Still, I do go out (or most often, online) and buy some of the hard and soft cover collections of storylines.
I suppose it’s only fitting that I talk about the whole OYATM thing, given that One Year Ago This Month was, in many was, much the same as this month now is, which is the point on which I opened this entry, and, I guess, the point on which I’m closing it.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot? Probably.
So a new year, full of promise and potential has begun, and like the mythical Phoenix we are free to rise up from the ashes of the old and start our lives anew.
Or, you know, we could just do the same old stuff we’ve been doing.
Either way.
So far 2006 isn’t looking much different from 2005, but it’s early yet, so I suppose I shouldn’t jump to any conclusions.
For me the year began with the sound of my cell phone ringing a bit after midnight.
I knew immediately that it must be Kevin, as no one else ever calls me in the middle of the night when I have to work in the morning.
I didn’t answer it.
It’s not that I didn’t want to talk to him so much as I did want to sleep.
When I checked my voicemail I found that he had simply said, “Happy New Year’s, Jon.”
So while I appreciate the sentiment, once again the timing was a bit off. I do apologize for not answering, but I think that will remain my policy when it comes to late-night calls on work nights.
As soon as I began to drift back to sleep I was forced awake by the sound of some drunk chick in the parking lot staggering around clumsily in her high heels and talking to her companions just as quietly as a drunk chick is able to talk, which, of course, is not very quietly at all.
After she went away I was once again thrust into wakefulness by the sound of someone setting off fireworks.
Eventually, thinking, “It’s New Year’s, not the Fourth of July,” I did get back to sleep, and now here I am at work, where Brian and I are manning the desk minus our boss and co-workers.
Of course, Brian is only here for half the day, at which point Chip, one of our co-workers who took the day off, will come in order to allow Brian to leave early.
As for me, I’m here all day.
Given how much I’m getting paid to be here all day I can’t really complain, and it’s not like I have any particular reason to leave early, or had a reason to come in late.
At this point it’s actually been six years since I’ve done anything to celebrate the coming of the New Year.
That celebration – on the eve of Y2K – was rather subdued, and ultimately disappointing, as, for one thing, I actually was kind of hoping that the world really was going to come to an end, but early on in the day it was already established that it wasn’t, thanks to those spoilsports on the other side of the International Date Line.
Beyond that, though, it was pretty much like any other night out at the bar for me, albeit slightly more crowded than usual.
At the time I was living in Minnesota, and I had a friend who tended bar at my regular hangout. After his shift ended we headed over to the Wisconsin side of the border, where bars were able to stay open later.
On New Year’s, though, they were allowed to stay open even later than usual. One bar in particular was able to stay open all night on the condition that after 2 am you couldn’t leave and come back in again.
We drove past that bar, looked at how packed the parking lot was, and decided to head over to the strip club instead.
The strip club was incredibly dead, and we ended up spending the next several hours just hanging out and talking to some of the dancers and one of the bouncers.
And that was pretty much how my last big celebration of the New Year ended.
Given that I rarely do much of anything to even acknowledge the onset of a new year, it should come as no surprise that I’m not big on making resolutions.
I don’t really see the point. After all, if I’m going to do something (or not do something), then I’ll just do it (or not do it) regardless of whether or not it’s a new year.
And who would I make a resolution to? Myself? If that’s the case, what’s the payoff if I keep my resolution? What’s the penalty if I don’t?
Still, in the spirit of the New Year I think I’ll go ahead and make a resolution for 2006 anyway. Here it is: I resolve to spend another year alone.
I figure this is a win-win resolution. After all, odds are by the time 2007 rolls around I’ll still be alone, so I’ll at least have lived up to my resolution, and if I fail to keep my resolution, I won’t be alone anymore.
It’s the perfect resolution. It’s just like me giving up sex for Lent.
In any case, I suppose that there are other things I could be doing (like work), so I suppose that will do it for now.
I hope all of you out there are able to come up with some easy resolutions of your own.
Or, you know, we could just do the same old stuff we’ve been doing.
Either way.
So far 2006 isn’t looking much different from 2005, but it’s early yet, so I suppose I shouldn’t jump to any conclusions.
For me the year began with the sound of my cell phone ringing a bit after midnight.
I knew immediately that it must be Kevin, as no one else ever calls me in the middle of the night when I have to work in the morning.
I didn’t answer it.
It’s not that I didn’t want to talk to him so much as I did want to sleep.
When I checked my voicemail I found that he had simply said, “Happy New Year’s, Jon.”
So while I appreciate the sentiment, once again the timing was a bit off. I do apologize for not answering, but I think that will remain my policy when it comes to late-night calls on work nights.
As soon as I began to drift back to sleep I was forced awake by the sound of some drunk chick in the parking lot staggering around clumsily in her high heels and talking to her companions just as quietly as a drunk chick is able to talk, which, of course, is not very quietly at all.
After she went away I was once again thrust into wakefulness by the sound of someone setting off fireworks.
Eventually, thinking, “It’s New Year’s, not the Fourth of July,” I did get back to sleep, and now here I am at work, where Brian and I are manning the desk minus our boss and co-workers.
Of course, Brian is only here for half the day, at which point Chip, one of our co-workers who took the day off, will come in order to allow Brian to leave early.
As for me, I’m here all day.
Given how much I’m getting paid to be here all day I can’t really complain, and it’s not like I have any particular reason to leave early, or had a reason to come in late.
At this point it’s actually been six years since I’ve done anything to celebrate the coming of the New Year.
That celebration – on the eve of Y2K – was rather subdued, and ultimately disappointing, as, for one thing, I actually was kind of hoping that the world really was going to come to an end, but early on in the day it was already established that it wasn’t, thanks to those spoilsports on the other side of the International Date Line.
Beyond that, though, it was pretty much like any other night out at the bar for me, albeit slightly more crowded than usual.
At the time I was living in Minnesota, and I had a friend who tended bar at my regular hangout. After his shift ended we headed over to the Wisconsin side of the border, where bars were able to stay open later.
On New Year’s, though, they were allowed to stay open even later than usual. One bar in particular was able to stay open all night on the condition that after 2 am you couldn’t leave and come back in again.
We drove past that bar, looked at how packed the parking lot was, and decided to head over to the strip club instead.
The strip club was incredibly dead, and we ended up spending the next several hours just hanging out and talking to some of the dancers and one of the bouncers.
And that was pretty much how my last big celebration of the New Year ended.
Given that I rarely do much of anything to even acknowledge the onset of a new year, it should come as no surprise that I’m not big on making resolutions.
I don’t really see the point. After all, if I’m going to do something (or not do something), then I’ll just do it (or not do it) regardless of whether or not it’s a new year.
And who would I make a resolution to? Myself? If that’s the case, what’s the payoff if I keep my resolution? What’s the penalty if I don’t?
Still, in the spirit of the New Year I think I’ll go ahead and make a resolution for 2006 anyway. Here it is: I resolve to spend another year alone.
I figure this is a win-win resolution. After all, odds are by the time 2007 rolls around I’ll still be alone, so I’ll at least have lived up to my resolution, and if I fail to keep my resolution, I won’t be alone anymore.
It’s the perfect resolution. It’s just like me giving up sex for Lent.
In any case, I suppose that there are other things I could be doing (like work), so I suppose that will do it for now.
I hope all of you out there are able to come up with some easy resolutions of your own.
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