Sunday, July 30, 2006

Pictures That Have Actual Relevance In My Life Or All Hail King Dork, King Of All Dorkdom!

As best I can determine, the reason I can't post a link to the picture on the site I found it on is that Blogger doesn't like all of the %s in the URL. If you really want to see the picture in its original context you can go ahead and stalk her yourself.
She went to Colorado College and graduated in 2006 with a degree in Neuroscience. Commence stalking.
Anyway, putting the whole stalking thing behind us, I thought I'd post a few of the pictures I found while I was home.
Some of the pictures are pretty humiliating for me, and so should prove very entertaining to the rest of you.


Here we see a shot of the wall of my dorm room, circa 1990 (there's that year again). The picture on the right is my rendition of the cover of an issue of the comic book The Warlord.
The others are my renditions of some of Patrick Nagel's work (the "Nagel" of my "Nagelesque" pictures).
The reference pictures I worked from were obtained from some BBS or other by my friend Joel and printed out on a dot matrix printer, and then I drew them by hand on actual paper. I've been working on the computer for so long that it's hard to remember that there was a time when I drew "the old-fashioned way." Of course, even then there was a high-tech (for the time) component to it.


And here's the other wall. The two on the right are Nagel's, the Zebra woman on the horse is an Olivia, with the reference picture also obtained via Joel and the BBS, and the last one is from the Who's Who in the DC Universe entry for Black Orchid. I don't remember who was the artist for that entry, I just remember thinking the picture was cool and so I drew a copy of it. Too bad you can't see it very well. I'll have to dig out that issue and find out who the artist is and scan the picture.
I no longer have any of these drawings. In fact, I don't think I have any of my old paper and pencil drawings. I'd say that's a shame if I felt like it actually mattered.


And here I'm providing many Threshold readers their first-ever look at my ex-wife, Lorie.
So if you ever wondered what she looked like wonder no more.
At a guess, having no date on the picture, I'd place this around Christmas 1989, or possibly 1988. She's showing off the Christmas stocking that my mom had made for her.
Looking at the picture you may notice a sort of maniacal glint in her eyes. All I can say is, what else would you expect from someone who would marry me?


And here we are on our wedding day. For many Threshold readers this is their first-ever look at me with long hair.
If you're thinking, "They look so young," you're right. At this point, I had turned 19 exactly three months earlier, and Lorie had done so just a little over a month earlier.
If you're also thinking, "Jon looks like such a tool," you're right again.
And for the record, yes, it is still possible for me to enter a church without bursting into flames or being struck by lightning.


I don't think that there's any way possible for me to look like more of a dork than I do in this picture. I think I achieved some sort of ultimate, transcendent level of dorkiness, becoming a kind of Dork Buddha.
All I can really say in my defense is that I was young and that the hair, the glasses, and the marriage all seemed like good ideas at the time.
As far as the marriage goes, ill-conceived though it may have been, and crazy/irritating/childish as Lorie could be at times (most of the time), and as dorky/lazy/moody as I was, there are some happy memories buried somewhere in that mess.
Most of the time, though, I just don't feel up to digging for them.

2 comments:

Merlin T Wizard said...

You do look young. In fact, I'd have to go as far as saying that the two of you look like a couple of kids posing as a bride and groom on one of those black, white, and pink greeting cards.

So cute.

PS. You guys hit a 2 for 1 sale on those glasses or what?

Heimdall said...

I would say we pretty much were a couple of kids posing as a bride and groom.
I never understood why she wore glasses in the first place. Her vision wasn't that bad, and she had contacts, so I can't say why she chose that style.
For my part, I was on Medicaid at the time and was only able to choose from a very small selection of ugly glasses, ultimately settling not on the pair I liked most, but rather on the pair I hated least.